South Park

Season 14 Episode 4

You Have 0 Friends

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Apr 07, 2010 on Comedy Central

Episode Recap

Kyle, Cartman and Kenny are comparing friend counts on Facebook, Stan thinks it's stupid. They've created a profile for Stan. Stan doesn't want to get sucked into this. Cartman says fine, Stan can be just like Kip Drordy, a third grader that has no Facebook friends, and he's had a profile for more than six months. Kyle thinks it's wrong that there are people out there with no Facebook friends. At Kip Drordy's home, he is looking depressed, until he receives a friend request from Kyle, which he confirms. He now has 1 Facebook friend and goes to tell his parents. He's all excited as it appears he know has a life. Back at the Marsh home, Randy tells Stan that he saw that Stan now has a Facebook page. Randy wants to know why his son won't add him as a friend. Stan reluctantly agrees. At Kip's, he reports to his parents all that Kyle has been up to today. Kyle in the meantime is playing Farmville, one of the many games on Facebook, when he notices something disturbing, he is losing friends fast. At school, Wendy asks Stan if all she is to him is a big joke. She knows he has a Facebook page and she sees his relationship status is single. Stan didn't even know that was a setting. At home Stan works to update his profile, when his father tells him to add his grandma as a friend and respond to the funny picture that he was sent. Stan clicks on a link for Cartman's "MAD FRIENDS w/ Eric Cartman" podcast, where goes over the stock of who is worth friending and defriending on Facebook. Since Kyle became Kip Drordy's friend, Kyle stock has gone way down. Clyde Donovan's stock is up since he has an upcoming birthday and Jimmy and Bebe are going to merge friends. Kyle comes to Stan's house, pleading for him to remain his friend on Facebook and to help him with his farm, Stan initially refuses to help but gives in. Kip continues to report to his parents about his new friend Kyle, whom it appears he's never met in person. Kip reports on Facebook to Kyle what he had for dinner and waits for a response. Kyle likes it, much to Kip's delight. Stan runs into Wendy on the street, she is mad because "susan92" wrote cute bunny costume on Stan's profile. She goes off mad, not waiting to hear from Stan that "susan92" is a 92-year-old friend of his grandmother. Stan runs into others on the street that annoy him with other Facebook stuff. Stan gets angry. Stan is sitting in front of Facebook, with 845,000 friends, when his dad comes in and tells him "Stan poke your grandma". Stan is annoyed with whole thing and decides to delete his profile. Unfortunately something won't let him do that and says he is going to have to put Stan on the game grid. Stan's webcam starts scanning him a la the 1982 film Tron. Suddenly Stan finds himself sucked inside the world of Facebook, exactly where he doesn't want to be. Meanwhile, Kyle goes to the last person you'd ever think he would ask for advice, Eric Cartman. Cartman tells him that he needs to dump Kip Drordy. Cartman tried to show him how to do "Chat Roulette". They keep encountering male penis in various states of use. Cartman tells him to find quality friends you have to wade through all the dicks first. In Facebook, Stan is looking for help, but no one will help him until he becomes their friend. Stan is brought into the gaming arena. Stan plays Yahtzee! with a guy and gets one on his first roll. The guys disappears. Cartman finally finds a nice Jewish kid for Kyle to become friends with. Meanwhile, Kip Drordy is out enjoying a movie, with a laptop featuring Kyle's profile at his side. In Facebook, Stan has made things complicated by winning the Yahtzee! Stan says his Facebook profile has taken on a life of its own. Stan is determined to stop his Facebook profile. Kyle is tending to his farm, when Stan makes an appearance and tells Kyle to screw his crops, Stan wants to know what his profile status is. Kyle tells Stan that he is hosting a online chat party in Café World. Stan disappears off the screen and goes to Café World where he encounters all the people who are his Facebook friends. Kyle is wandering Stan's party, until he runs into his new Jewish friend there, who says he is deleting Kyle because is "bad friend stock" since he is friends with Kip Drordy. Stan asks for everyone's attention, he wants to Stan Marsh's profile to reveal itself. And it does, it's huge. Out in the real world, Kyle comes to a decision and defriends Kip Drordy. At Kip's home, he is disappointed and goes back to how he was before Kyle friended him. Back in Facebook, Stan's profile challenges him to a game of Yahtzee! As before, Stan rolls a Yahtzee on his first throw, Stan wins and his profile is destroyed. Stan comes back out into the real world and finds that he has zero friends. Stan's dad asks why they are friends anymore. Stan tells him the profile went rogue and he had to go into the circuitry and do battle with it. He sent all his friends somewhere else. That somewhere else turns out to be Kip Drordy's profile, much to his delight he now has 845,323 friends.