It is announced Stuart's birthday is May 24, 1964.
Stuart: I'll take 'Things I don't care about' for $100, Alex.
Stuart: I take over 40 vitamins and minerals a day.
Mike: It's called a bowl of Total. America's on to your little secret.
Nikki: What is it about men James?
James: You're gonna have to be more specific.
Mike: Perhaps they'd like to visit one of the other 700,000 Santa Clauses in New York City.
James: Nikki asked me to get her a drink. What should I bring her?
Carter: I don't know... how about a drink?
James: She said to surprise her.
Carter: Serve it to her naked.
Mike: What am I going to do? Criticize her for having an opinion?
Moderator: Well, that's kind of what we do on this show.
Ashley: I love that you don't feel threatened by a strong women.
Mike: "And I love that you believe that.
This episode features Carla Gugino's last appearance as Ashley Schaeffer
Opening Theme Sound Effect: Coughing