Mermaid Man: I've made my decision! (the line outside cheers) One Krabby Patty for me and a Pip-Squeak Patty for the boy.
Barnacle Boy: Now wait just a darn minute! (the line outside groans) I don't want a Pip-Squeak Patty! I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty!
Mermaid Man: The Krabby Patty is too big for you, you'll never finish it.
Barnacle Boy: Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child!
Mr. Krabs: The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach! (all laugh)
Barnacle Boy: And that's another thing! I'm not a boy! I'm so old that I've got hair growing out of the wrinkles on my liver spots! (lifts his hat and shows them)
Squidward: One Pip-Squeak Patty… And your bib and highchair. (takes them out, he, Krabs, Sandy and Patrick laugh)
Barnacle Boy: I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!
Mermaid Man: Your Pip-Squeak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?
Barnacle Boy: Feed this, old man!
Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, and Sandy: Ooooh…
Barnacle Boy: I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And I'm through with protecting citizens that don't respect me!
Spongebob: I respect you, Barnacle Man!
Barnacle Boy: That's Barnacle Boy! I... I mean, Man! Forget you people! I say if you're not going to give me any respect as a hero, than maybe you'll give me respect as a villain! A villain who is… EVIL!
Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, and Sandy: Evil?
(Mermaid Man just stands there. Krabs smacks him)
Mermaid Man: Eeeevil!
Barnacle Boy: I'm crossing over to the dark side.
[We see that one half of the restaurant is lit and the other half is pure darkness]
Mr. Krabs: Why should I waste money lighting up the whole store? (A long car comes out of the darkness. The license plate reads, "Mean 2 U." The window rolls down, revealing Manray and the Dirty Bubble)
Dirty Bubble: Did someone say "evil"?
Spongebob: Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies! Manray and the Dirty Bubble!
Barnacle Boy: Nighty-night, you old goat! (the window rolls back up and the car drives off)
Mermaid Man: Uh… nighty-night. (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in?