SpongeBob SquarePants

Season 1 Episode 1

Help Wanted / Reef Blowers / Tea at the Treedome

16
Aired Weekdays 5:00 PM May 01, 1999 on Nickelodeon
8.7
out of 10
User Rating
438 votes
150

EPISODE REVIEWS
By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

EDIT

Help Wanted:
SpongeBob wants to work at the local restaurant, "The Krusty Krab," and with a little help from Patrick, is on his way. But Mr. Krabs and Squidward don't want him there. They send him out to do a job of picking a special spatula. In the meantime, some anchovies are coming by, and are hungry. SpongeBob must feed them all to get the job and save Mr. Krabs and Squidward.

Reef Blower:
There's a small clam shell in Squidward's yard and he carelessly kickes it into SpongeBob's yard. SpongeBob gets out his trusty reef blower. Squidward always seems to get the worst end of everything as SpongeBob's reef blower goes crazy and messes up Squidward's yard - all because Squidward was lazy and kicked that one small clamshell in SpongeBob's yard.

Tea at the Treedome:
SpongeBob meets a squirrel named Sandy, who breathes air. SpongeBob, trying to impress her, tells her he breathes air. The only problem is that he doesn't know what air is. She invites him over to her treedome, and he can't say no. Patrick gives him useless tips on how to be fancy and SpongeBob goes on over for some tea and cookies. Slowly when there, he is shriveling up and desperately searches for water. Patrick comes in to tell him he is not being fancy enough and they both shrivel up. Sandy comes up with a quick solution to the problem.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • Help Wanted and Tea at the Treedome COMPLETELY save this set of episodes from getting a fair rating.

    8.5
    Help Wanted:

    I thought that this episode was a great way to start the series. It was funny, had a great plot, and overall was a great episode. The parts I liked were the part where Spongebob gets the Hydro-Dynamic spatula, the anchovies attacking the Krusty Krab, and when Patrick is trying to get Spongebob the job. Overall, a great episode that is very funny.

    A



    Reef Blower:

    This episode has got to be one of the most pointless, meaningless, boring episodes in all of Spongebob's history. It's just so boring. Spongebob is trying to get a clam off his lawn. Okay... The only funny part is when he sucks out all the water and when he is setting up the leaf blower.

    C



    Tea at the Treedome:

    I loved this episode! I thought it was a great way to introduce Sandy to the show. The parts I loved were the part with Spongebob and the clam, the part where Patrick is teaching Spongebob about holding his pinky up, Spongebob and Patrick drying, and the ending. Overall, a great episode that really saved Reef Blower. :p

    A+!moreless
  • The perfect way to start an awesome series!

    10
    Help Wanted: SpongeBob wants to work at the local

    restaurant, "The Krusty Krab," and with a little help from

    Patrick, is on his way. But Mr. Krabs and Squidward

    don't want him there. They send him out to do a job of

    picking a special spatula. In the meantime, some

    anchovies are coming by, and are hungry. SpongeBob

    must feed them all to get the job and save Mr. Krabs

    and Squidward. I thought this was a very great pilot for an awesome series and a great introduction to the main characters. I laughed at the part where Spongebob jumped off his diving board and said "Look at me, I'M NAKEEED!!". I also found it funny were Spongebob shoots Patrick with krabby pattys. This was a great episode of SB, 10/10.



    Reef Blower: There's a small clam shell

    in Squidward's yard and he carelessly kickes it into

    SpongeBob's yard. SpongeBob gets out his trusty reef

    blower. Squidward always seems to get the worst end

    of everything as SpongeBob's reef blower goes crazy

    and messes up Squidward's yard - all because

    Squidward was lazy and kicked that one small

    clamshell in SpongeBob's yard. There's nothing much to say about this one, because it's silent for the most part, but it was really enjoyable anf funny. Rating: 9.4/10





    SpongeBob meets a squirrel named Sandy, who

    breathes air. SpongeBob, trying to impress her, tells her

    he breathes air. The only problem is that he doesn't

    know what air is. She invites him over to her treedome,

    and he can't say no. Patrick gives him useless tips on

    how to be fancy and SpongeBob goes on over for some

    tea and cookies. Slowly when there, he is shriveling up

    and desperately searches for water. Patrick comes in to

    tell him he is not being fancy enough and they both

    shrivel up. Sandy comes up with a quick solution to the

    Problem. I thought this was a very good Spongebob episode and one of my favorites. The funniest part is where Spongebob is dehydrated and says'I don't need it" but then yells I NENEED IT!!!. There were a lot more funny parts. Overall, there great episodes that are well thought out, extremely funny and a awesome way to start easily one of the best cartoons of all time.moreless
  • A great start to a great show.

    10
    SpongeBob was my favorite show growing up and even though we all now how the show went downhill, the old episodes still hold up. Now I'm going to try to review all the SpongeBob episodes at least from 1-3. ( May do more if it goes well. )



    Help Wanted: This is a perfect first episode. Looking back at it now it seems different that it is today, but this is how I like SpongeBob. Quirky and fun. The plot is simple. SpongeBob wants to work at the Krusty Krab, but Squidward doesn't want him there because he puts up with him enough at home. Soon they realize that they need him because of the lunch rush that is going on. You can probably guess what will happen after that, but it is still a great pilot. 10/10



    Reef Blower: I do not get the hate for this episode at all. Some people didn't like it because of the lack of dialogue, but that doesn't necessarily make it bad. I thought the gags were funny and creative and that's all it takes to make a great episode. 10/10



    Tea at the Treedome: This is my favorite out of these episodes. Again the plot is simple. Sandy invites SpongeBob to her house for tea, but SpongeBob can't breath the air in her home and needs water. I thought it was funny the way he talks when he is starting to dry up and I also thought the ending of that episode was funny too. These were all great episodes that started a series that's still running.moreless
  • A good start for a series that later died.

    10
    These are some of the best Spongebob episodes. It's hard to believe the show would later die. These 3 episodes were really good, why can't future episodes be like these? Tea at the Treedome was the best of the 3.
  • The first time we heard: I'M READY!

    9.5
    Help Wanted: Great episode. I love the song and the fact that Mr. Krabs called Squidward "Mr. Squidward" back then. 9.5/10



    Reef Blower: This is a take it or leave it episode. I think its okay. All I have to say is that Squidward started it. 7/10



    Tea at the Treedom: I love Sandy and SpongeBob meeting each other and showing off their strength. lol Favorite quotes: SpongeBob trying to pry open the clam: "Hey, I'm actually doing it. Patrick: You mean to say she puts ON airs? That's just fancy talk! 9/10moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

FILTER BY TYPE

  • TRIVIA (46)

    • Despite being the first episode, "Help Wanted" is not on the Season 1 Box Set.

    • In "Tea at the Treedome," SpongeBob was shown with a crusty/bony hand at one point, however in all the rest of the shots, his arms look regular. His arms and legs would retain the boniness once again in "Squirrel Jokes."

    • In "Tea at the Treedome," SpongeBob and Patrick dry up when exposed to air, but in some later episodes, such as "Survival of the Idiots," they can breathe normally as though they were in water.

    • In "Tea at the Treedome," SpongeBob acts surprised that the jellyfish he's hunting has four stingers. Don't all jellyfish in this show have four stingers?

    • In "Help Wanted", when SpongeBob is shown making Krabby Patties, it shows him walking on the condiment dispensers. One of the condiments appears to be mayonnaise, this is the only time SpongeBob is shown putting it on a Patty.

    • In "Tea at the Treedome," Sandy says that her dome is made out of plastic. But later in "Pranks a Lot," Sandy uses an escape pod and it breaks a piece of the treedome, meaning that it's made out of glass.

    • When SpongeBob starts the reef blower, we see that there is one window at the top, one at the bottom, and one in the front. However, as he starts to reef blow in the front of his house, the top window disappears and we don't see it.

    • In "Reef Blower," we see SpongeBob has a garage on the side of the pineapple.

    • When SpongeBob was cooking the Krabby Patties, that was not possible because Mr. Krabs never told him the formula.

    • Look Closely: When SpongeBob was saying, "That little squirrel is in trouble." He has only two belt slices instead of four.

    • Sandy asked SpongeBob, "If y'all needed water, you should've asked." However, SpongeBob did say that he needed water, but Sandy totally ignored him to go to put flowers in her vase.

    • How can SpongeBob and Patrick wear fish bowls with the opening up? Even if Sandy did cut a hole through the bottom, water would run out of it.

    • How did Mr. Krabs know SpongeBob's name if he never told it to him?

    • In Help Wanted SpongeBob had a lot of trouble just lifting his teddy bear weights, however in Reef Blowers he can lift the big reef blower without any difficulty.

    • In this episode, when SpongeBob sucks up all the water, Squidward can't breathe, however in the episode "Pressure" he can breathe on land with no water easily.

    • Squidward said "no" when SpongeBob said he will cover for him. This is hinted that Squidward hates SpongeBob, even though he does not get mad at him.

    • When SpongeBob is dancing in the middle of the song and the background turns yellow, SpongeBob's holes disappear.

    • When SpongeBob first enters the Krusty Krab, he's not much shorter than the door, but when he says, "and now I'm ready" and we close up on him he's much shorter than the door.

    • In this episode Patrick thinks really hard and nothing happens, however in Sing a Song of Patrick whenever he thinks hard steam comes out of his head.

    • In the Written By: section of the title card in Help Wanted, Stephen Hillenberg is misspelled Stephen Hilleburg.

    • When the anchovies get there Krabby Patties they just leave, so how did Mr. Krabs make money off of it?

    • In this episode, there are openings on top of SpongeBob's and Patrick's helmets. However, in other episodes there isn't a hole on it. A possible reason is because Sandy is able to put iced tea inside of their helmets.

    • When Sandy's putting water in Patrick's fish bowl, SpongeBob is breathing, despite not having any water in his bowl.

    • The animation in this episode is not as good as usual. For example, when SpongeBob bounces from wall to wall in the Krusty Krab he just looks like a yellow square. Also when the anchovies attack a lot of them are just blue and brown blobs.

    • The graffiti Squidward was seen wiping wasn't seen before or after.

    • Sandy is the only non-aquatic character to appear in this episode.

    • When SpongeBob sucks up all the water Squidward turns purple, however in later episodes this does not happen.

    • SpongeBob obviously has a crush on Sandy in this episode, something that would continue throughout season 1 and some later seasons.

    • Patrick's house makes many changes throughout the series. Sometimes, it's just a rock sitting on sand, other times, there is a den in it. Sometimes, his furniture is made of sand, other times, it is real furniture. Sometimes, his house has many rooms, other times, it's just a bedroom or living room.

    • In Tea at the Treedome, Sandy has a bird bath in this episode and the others don't.

    • In "Reef Blower," SpongeBob actually speaks, but you don't hear it.

    • Originally, SpongeBob was so excited about his job that he never took his hat off. This was dropped from the story for unknown reasons.

    • When SpongeBob got to Sandy's treedome, he got dry in 3 minutes, but when Patrick came, he got dry in a few seconds.

    • If Sandy is a scientist (later discovered), then wouldn't she know that fish can't breath in air?

    • When we see Mr. Krabs, the rectangle thing on Mr. Krabs' pants is gone.

    • When we see the inside of the Krusty Krab, we don't see the door to Mr. Krab's office.

    • In Reef Blowers, when all of the water was sucked up, Squidward could not breathe. However, SpongeBob, for the brief moment he was seen, seemed to be able to breathe just fine without the water.

    • Reef Blowers is the only episode where SpongeBob (or anyone) doesn't talk.

    • On the Help Wanted episode, Squidward never got angry at SpongeBob or at anybody else. This might be the only episode that Squidward doesn't get angry at someone.

    • In Help Wanted, who fried the Krabby Patties before SpongeBob came? It was either Squidward or Mr. Krabs. However, Mr. Krabs doesn't have any cooking experience and Squidward is so bad at cooking (as we find out in "Pickels" and "Hooky," etc.), that the Krusty Krab probably would have gone out of business before SpongeBob even thought of applying there. Maybe there was somebody else that was there and then quit or got fired before SpongeBob came? Response: As seen in "The Original Fry Cook" Jim cooked patties before Spongebob. He quit because Mr. Krabs was being too cheap and didn't pay him a lot of money.

    • During Livin' the Sunlight, Lovin' the Moonlight, Tiny Tim sings "Just take it from me, I'm just as free as any daughter," but the captions sing "Just take it from me, I'm just as free as any brother."

    • The Krabby Patty was originally named the Barnacle Burger.

    • The Krusty Krab was spelled with the letter C instead of K originally. It was changed mainly because the creator, Stephen Hillenburg, thought it was funnier that way.

    • SpongeBob was originally called "SpongeBoy," but that name was already officially trademarked by Bob Burden. Also, SpongeBob originally wore a red hat with a green base and a white business shirt with a tie. A lot changed by the time the final sketch was made.

    • Sandy: Can I get you anything?
      SpongeBob: Water would be nice...
      (Later...)
      Sandy: (To SpongeBob and Patrick) If y'all wanted water, you should've asked!

      This is a goof because SpongeBob did ask for some water and she never brought some for him, though Patrick never asked one since he just barged in.

    • When Patrick is cheering SpongeBob up, SpongeBob yells "I'm ready" several times. The last time he yells it, his collar turns red.

  • QUOTES (94)

    • SpongeBob: Air is not good, Patrick! Air is not good!

    • Sandy: Why, these flowers are just beautiful! They'll last much, much longer in a vase full of ice, cold water.

    • Sandy: Can I get you anything?
      SpongeBob: Water would be nice.

    • Sandy: You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.
      SpongeBob: I can't imagine why.

    • Patrick: Pinky! Pinky!

    • Sandy: (SpongeBob is gasping) This is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest...purest...most airiest air in the whole sea.

    • SpongeBob: Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There's no water in...here.

    • Patrick: Now that's fancy! They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants!

    • Patrick: That's just fancy talk. If you want to be fancy, hold your pinky up like this! The higher you hold it, the fancier you are!

    • SpongeBob: I just met this girl! She wears a hat full of... air!

    • SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air?

    • Sandy: How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? Don't be late!

    • SpongeBob: Why, "air" is my middle name! The more air, the better! Can't get enough of that air.

    • SpongeBob: I love air! Air is good.

    • SpongeBob: Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! Ow. Say, what is that thing on your head?

    • Sandy: I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah!

    • Sandy: Hold on there, little square dude!

    • SpongeBob: Hooray, land squirrel!

    • Sandy: Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners! (Walks away) You're about as ugly as homemade soup.

    • SpongeBob: Here it is! Land squirrel.

    • Mr. Krabs: I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. (Wheeling a wheelbarrow piled with an giant stack of money to his office)

    • Mr. Krabs: That was the finest fast foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants! Welcome aboard!

    • SpongeBob: That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with port-and-starboard attachments (Two spatulas come out of the sides), and lets not forget the turbo drive! (Smacks Mr. Krabs and Squidward in the face) WHO'S HUNGRY!?

    • SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?

    • Mr. Krabs: Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula?

    • Mr. Krabs: Man overboard! Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb!

    • Mr. Krabs: (Being thrown up by anchovies) Whoa! Button down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! We're taking on water, Mr. Squidward! I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward!

    • Squidward: One single file line was all I asked!

    • Mr. Krabs: Hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants!

    • SpongeBob: Singing to himself. BargN Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs.

    • Squidward: (Singing to himself) BargN Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs.

    • Squidward: (To anchovies) Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register?

    • Mr. Krabs: ANCHOVIES!

    • Mr. Krabs: That sounded like hatch doors! Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells... smelly.

    • Squidward: You're terrible! A hydro-what?

    • SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain! One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir!

    • Mr. Krabs: Well lad, well give you a test, and if you pass, youll be on the Krusty Krew! Go out and fetch me...a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula... with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, and, uh... turbo drive!

    • SpongeBob: I'll prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me.
      Squidward: (Mr. Krabs and Squidward walk away from SpongeBob) (deep breath) No. (Mr. Krabs winks)

    • Mr. Krabs: (To SpongeBob) Well lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.

    • SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard, captain! (deep voice) I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew, (normal voice) And now I'm ready.

    • SpongeBob: Go SpongeBob! Go SpongeBob! Go SpongeBob! Go self!

    • Patrick: Who's ready?

      SpongeBob: I'M READY! I'm ready. I'm ready! I'm ready!

    • Patrick: Whos a, uh... whos uhh. oh! whos a big yellow cube with holes?
      SpongeBob: I am!

    • Patrick: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?
      SpongeBob: I did.

    • Patrick: Whose first words were "may I take your order"?
      SpongeBob: Mine were.

    • Patrick: (To SpongeBob) You're going to the Krusty Krab and get that job!

    • SpongeBob: For years I've been dreaming of this moment! I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'im straight in the eye, (Looks into camera, breaking fourth wall) lay it on the line and… I can't do this!

    • SpongeBob: There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab...

    • SpongeBob: I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
      Patrick: Go, SpongeBob! (Falls)

    • Narrator: Ah, the sea. So fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.

    • Patrick: (crawling to his knees and coughing in Sandy's house due to lack of water) What kind of place is this!

    • SpongeBob: (jumps on the diving board) Look at me, I'm... (jumps up and leaves his underwear behind) NAKED!!!

    • SpongeBob: Today is the big day, Gary.

    • Sandy: There, that ought to do it! If y'all wanted water, you should of asked. (Sandy carries over a tray with three tea glasses. Everyone takes one) I propose a toast: to new friends! (she drinks it. SpongeBob and Patrick lift their drinks up and they clink the glasses on the helmets, causing them to spill) Wait, hold on a second. (she places a tea bag in each helmet, allowing the two to drink the tea water.) I hope you like your tea strong. Drink up!

    • SpongeBob: I don't need it. I don't need it. I definitely don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I NEEEED IT!!! (shoots up in the air, bounces off the ceiling and holds the glass)

    • Sandy: Why, these flowers are just beautiful! They'll last much, much longer in a glass of ice, cold water. (SpongeBob is totally enticed by the water. Sandy sits down across from him) So tell me about yourself. It must be fascinating being a sea critter. (SpongeBob watches a drop of water drop down the side of the glass) SpongeBob? (a timer goes off) Oh, there's the cookies. (walks back into the tree) Be right back.

    • Sandy: And there's my oak tree. (SpongeBob seems enticed by the water in the birdbath. He tries to sneak away, but stays until Sandy lets her guard down) It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane-- that's a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bee's knees? Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither. First, I... (SpongeBob finally escapes and wallows in the birdbath, absorbing all the water. He then jumps back to his original spot, and the bird is quite angry. SpongeBob gets back before Sandy notices) ...that's my treadmill. That's how I stay in tip-top shape. Well, come on. Let's have that tea now. (does in-air karate moves and moves off-screen. SpongeBob gasps. He hears some knocking from outside. It's Patrick, pointing at his pinky)

    • Patrick: Pinky! Pinky!
      (SpongeBob weakly holds up his pinky and gasps again. Cut to him sitting at a picnic bench. He holds up his bouquet)
      SpongeBob: I brought you some flowers. (Sandy walks over)
      Sandy: For me? How sweet! (Sandy grabs the flowers, which SpongeBob doesn't want to let go. She finally pries them loose and reveals SpongeBob's bony crusty looking hand) You OK?

    • Sandy: Well, all right. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! Hi-yah! (SpongeBob is walking an inch forward and it makes weak squeaking sounds with every step) That's not in. In! (SpongeBob walks another inch with all the squeaking. Sandy runs and gets SpongeBob and takes his hand and runs off) You're a funny little dude.

    • SpongeBob: Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There's no water in... here.
      Sandy: 'Course there's no water. Nothing but air.
      (SpongeBob waves his hand around and smells this air)
      SpongeBob: No water?

    • SpongeBob: D'oh. Say, what's that thing on your head?
      Sandy: Why, that's my air helmet.

    • SpongeBob: Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! (tries to chop Sandy's head, but her air helmet stops him)

    • SpongeBob: So, uh, what's your name?
      Squirrel: Sandy! So, what do y'all call yourself?
      (SpongeBob runs up a nearby rock and jumps off)
      SpongeBob: I---'m SpongeBob! (One of the corners of his head gets stuck in the ground)
      Sandy: Well SpongeBob, take a gander at this! (she walks next to a huge rock and slaps it with her hand, making a gong sound effect. The gong sound effect intensifies and the rock shatters into tiny pebbles)
      SpongeBob: Oh.

    • SpongeBob: Your shell is mine! (SpongeBob attempts to grapple with an appendage in the clam's mouth. The clam then slams shut)

    • SpongeBob: You have fought well, giant clam. Prepare to be vanquished! (strains) Hey, I'm actually doing it!

    • Mr. Krabs: That was the greatest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants! Welcome aboard! (Krabs gives him a nametag with 'SpongeBob' written on it.) Squidward: But Mr. Krabs- Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip! Squidward: (weakly) Hooray. Mr.- Mr. Krabs: Hip-Hip! Squidward: (quickly) Hooray. Mr.- Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip! Squidward: (quickly) Hooray. Mr. Krabs... Mr. Krabs: I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty.

    • SpongeBob: Barg'n Mart: meeting all your spatula needs.

    • Mr. Krabs: Well, lad, it seems like you don't even have your sea legs.

    • Squidward: Mr. Krabs! (cut to the ordering window, where Mr. Krabs is smelling a handful of money. Squidward runs up to him) Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you...

    • SpongeBob: (in background) Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, self! Go, self!
      (Squidward noticed the 'Help Wanted' sign and runs inside.)

    • Squidward: Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?

    • SpongeBob: (points to pile of sand) You!

    • Living In The Sunlight, Loving In The Moonlight

      Things that bother you never bother me,
      I feel happy as pie, a-ha!
      Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight,
      Having a wonderful time.
      Haven't got a lot, I don't need a lot,
      Coffee's only a dime,
      Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight,
      Having a wonderful time.

      Just take it from me, I'm just as free as any daughter,
      Just take it from me, I'm just as free as any daughter,
      I do what I like, just when I like, and how I love it!

      I'm right here to stay, when I'm old and gray,
      I'll be right in my prime,
      Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight,
      Having a wonderful time.

    • Mr. Krabs: Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! (both are thrown up in the air) We're taking on water, Mr. Squidward! (both are thrown back up again) I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward!

    • Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, please. I'll prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me. (Mr. Krabs and Squidward walk away to have a short private chat)
      Squidward: No. (Mr. Krabs winks)
      Krabs: Well lad... we'll give you a test... and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew! Go fetch me... (Spongebob pulls out a notepad) ...a, uh, hydrodynamic spatula with, ah, port-and-starboard-attachments, and turbo drive! And don't come back till you get one! (Mr. Krabs puts a Krusty Krew hat on Spongebob)
      Spongebob: (looking at a mirror) Aye aye, captain! (reads his notepad) One hydrodynamic spatula, port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up sir!

    • SpongeBob: (looks down a cliff and gasps) Where have I seen this before? (takes out his "Field Guide" book and skims through the pages) Here it is! Land squirrel. That little squirrel is in trouble.
      Sandy: Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners! (walks away) You're about as ugly as homemade soup.
      SpongeBob: Hooray, land squirrel!

    • Sandy: This is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest...
      Spongebob: (gasps)
      Sandy: ...purest...
      Spongebob: (gasps)
      Sandy: ...most airiest air in the whole sea. Oh, over there's my birdbath.
      Birdbath: (splashing and chirping)

    • Sandy: Hold on there, little square dude!
      (Sandy gets SpongeBob out and kicks the clam around some more and finally kicks it across the sea)
      Clam: (whimpers)
      SpongeBob: Hey, you like karate, too!

    • MR. Krabs: That sounded like hatch doors! (sniffs) Do you smell it? That smell. The kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly. (his eyes bulge) Anchovies...
      Squidward: What?
      MR. Krabs: ANCHOVIES!!!
      Anchovies: (running inside the restaurant while making 'meep'ing sounds)
      Squidward: Please, please, quiet! (anchovies stop the 'meep'ing) Is this any way to behave, hmmm?
      Anchovy: (meeps)
      Squidward: Can we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register?

    • Narrator: Ah, the sea. So fascinating, so wonderful. Here we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.
      (SpongeBob snores, alarm clock blares, alarm stops ringing)
      SpongeBob: Today's the big day, Gary.
      Gary the Snail: Meow!
      SpongeBob: Look at me, I'm ... naked! Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.
      Gary the Snail: Meow!
      (SpongeBob takes a deep breath and struggles while lifting weights)
      SpongeBob: I'M READY! (runs toward the door) I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
      Patrick: Go, SpongeBob! Whoa...! (falls down)

    • Mr. Krabs: Hurry on! (SpongeBob leaves) We'll never see that lad again.
      Squidward: You're terrible! A hydro-what?
      (both Squidward and Mr. Krabs begin to laugh uncontrollably)
      Bus Driver: Hey, hey please! Passengers are to remain seated and not put their fins out of the windows.

    • Patrick: Good morning, Krusty Krew!
      Squidward: What would you like to order, Patrick?
      Patrick: One Krabby Patty, please. (Spongebob flies back to the kitchen and makes dozens of burgers, which spill out and knock Patrick outside)
      Squidward: Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! (calmly) Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee...

    • Patrick: Remember, when in doubt, pinky out. You can do it, Spongebob. I'll be watching. (opens the door hatch for Spongebob and he enters)
      Spongebob: Thanks pal. (Patrick closes the door and Spongebob rings the doorbell)
      Sandy: Hello?
      Spongebob: Hiya, Sandy. It's me... Spongebob.
      Sandy: Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.

    • Mr. Krabs: Climb, Mr. Squidward, climb! (they do so) Well, this is the end. Good-bye, Mr. Squidward!
      Squidward: Oh, Mr. Krabs! (both Squidward and Mr. Krabs begin to cry)
      SpongeBob: (sings a dramatic tune while flying on his spatula) Did someone order a spatula?
      Squidward & Mr. Krabs: (stunned)
      SpongeBob: One hydrodynamic spatula with (two other spatulas pop out on the sides of the previous one) port-and-starboard attachments, and let's not forget the turbo drive! (the two extending spatulas twirl around and smack Squidward and Mr. Krabs around) Could you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! (to the anchovies) Who's hungry!

    • SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard, Captain. (using man's voice) I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty crew. (using normal voice) And now I'm ready! (is about to walk, but as soon as he walks, he slips and goes all over the room, and then he stops) So, er, when do I start?
      Mr. Krabs: Well, lad, it looks like you don't have your sealegs.

    • Spongebob: I NEEEED IT!!! (he shoots up in the air, bounces off the ceiling and holds the glass with water)
      Patrick: (off-screen) No, Spongebob! No, no, no, stop! (on-screen, he holds up his pinky) Pinky! Pinky!
      Spongebob: (holds up his pinky while guzzling down the whole glass of water) (screams off-screen) I'm a quitter! (Spongebob runs around screaming and heads to the door)
      Patrick: You can't leave now! You'll blow it!

    • Sandy: Of course there's no water. Nothing but air.
      SpongeBob: (sniffs to see if there's water) No water?
      Sandy: That ain't a problem, is it? Hi-ya.
      SpongeBob: Problem? Baaaaaaa! Hi-ya, that's how I like my air.
      (SpongeBob takes a big breath, then coughs)
      SpongeBob: (in a raspy voice) With no water!

    • Spongebob: May I try it on?
      Sandy: Heck no. I need it to breathe! I gotta have my air.
      Spongebob: Me too! I love air! Air is good.
      Sandy: No kidding?
      Spongebob: Why, "air" is my middle name! The more air, the better! Can't get enough of that air.
      Sandy: Shee-oot. How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? (Sandy hands Spongebob a map to her house) Don't be late. (she walks off)

    • SpongeBob: There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating, the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. With a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm going to march in there, walk straight to the manager, look him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and... I can't do this! (starts to head back) Duh, Patrick!
      Patrick: Where do you think you're going?
      SpongeBob: I was just-
      Patrick: No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and GET THAT JOB!
      SpongeBob: I can't, don't you see?! I'm not good enough.
      Patrick: Whose first words were, "May I take your order?"
      SpongeBob: Mine were.
      Patrick: Who made a spatula out of toothpicks and woodchips?
      SpongeBob: I did.
      Patrick: Who's the... who's, well, who's the big yellow cube with holes?
      SpongeBob: I am.
      Patrick: Who's ready?
      SpongeBob: I'm ready.
      Patrick: Who's ready?!
      SpongeBob: I'm ready!
      Patrick: Who's ready?!?
      SpongeBob: I'M READY!!!!

    • Spongebob: (in a weak voice) Air is not good, Patrick! Air is not good!
      Patrick: You're just being shy. (carries Spongebob with him) Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine. (starts to get weak) I won't let you blow... this... (dropping Spongebob, he starts coughing and gasping for breath) What kind of place is this?! (runs toward the door and tries to open it) There's no water in here!
      Spongebob: (struggling to open the door) I tried to tell you!
      Patrick: We've got to get out of here!
      Spongebob: You're doing it wrong! (both start to collapse)
      Patrick: Wait, no! We've got... to get out...

    • Sandy: Well Spongebob, take a gander at this. (she walks next to a huge rock and slaps it with her hand. The rock then rumbles a bit, and explodes into many pieces)
      Spongebob: Oh... (Sandy looks triumphant) Oh yeah? Well watch this! (attempting to make a karate move, he instead makes an armpit fart noise)
      Sandy: (laughing) I like you, Spongebob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah! (she karate-chops Spongebob on the head, causing one part of his head to deflate)

    • Spongebob: (in weak voice) I brought you some flowers.
      Sandy: For me? How sweet! (she grabs the flowers, which Spongebob doesn't want to let go. She finally pries them loose and reveals Spongebob's bony-crusty looking hand) You OK?
      Spongebob: (in weak voice) Yes, I'm OK.
      Sandy: You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.
      Spongebob: (in weak voice) I can't imagine why.
      Sandy: Can I get you anything.
      Spongebob: (in weak voice) WATER would be nice.
      Sandy: I'm going to put these in a vase.
      Spongebob: (in weak voice) Take your time.

    • SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air?
      Patrick: Huh?
      SpongeBob: I just met this girl. he has a head full of... air!
      Patrick: (sunbathing) Do you mean she puts on airs?
      SpongeBob: I guess so.
      Patrick: That's just fancy talk. If you want to be fancy, hold your pinky up like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.
      SpongeBob: Like this?
      Patrick: Higher!
      (SpongeBob raises pinky way up high)
      Patrick: Now that's fancy! They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants!

    • SpongeBob: (he heads toward the door and struggles to try and open it) I gotta get out of here! Aaaaahh...
      Sandy: (in SpongeBob's head) I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree! (SpongeBob struggles even more)
      Patrick: (in SpongeBob's head) When in doubt, pinky out. (SpongeBob lifts his pinky. Gaining his confidence back, a victorious music plays)
      SpongeBob: I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it! (walks toward the picnic table) I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it, I don't need it... (he then loses confidence again and the music stops) I need it!!!!

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