SpongeBob SquarePants

Season 3 Episode 8

No Weenies Allowed / Squilliam Returns

Aired Weekdays 5:30 PM Mar 15, 2002 on Nickelodeon
out of 10
User Rating
157 votes

By TV.com Users

Episode Summary

No Weenies Allowed: Sandy and Spongebob line up at the Salty Spitoon, the toughest club in Bikini Bottom. Sandy gets in, but Spongebob gets kicked out since the club is too tough for him. Spongebob must find a way to sneak into the club. Squilliam Returns: Squidward's old school rival, Squilliam, returns to Bikini Bottom to brag to Squidward. Squidward tells Squilliam that he owns a five star restaurant to get him to stop. Squidward must get Spongebob to turn the Krusty Krab into a fancy restaurant before Squilliam arrives.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Well, that was pretty good, I guess



    I swear there's going to be a review here
  • I hated Squilliam Returns

    I agree with you finnysohr, it probably was one of the worst episodes of Season 3. I hated the plot. No Weenies Allowed was good, but not one of my favorites.

    No Weenies Allowed- 8/10

    Squilliam Returns- 1/10

    Overall- 5/10
  • No Weenies Allowed was great, but Squilliam Returns ruined it all.

    No Weenies Allowed: This episode was brilliant. The humor was right on time, the jokes weren't flat, this episode is probably the best Season 3 episode. 10/10

    Squilliam Returns: This episode was horrible, the worst of Season 3. The humor was horrible, everything just ruined me. 0/10

    Looks like the best episode of S3 is paired with the worst.
  • Two classics in one

    That's about it. 10/10 for both.
  • I wouldn't be able to tell which is worse

    No Weenies Allowed

    Good, but just a bit dull


    Squilliam Returns

    Ok, but not as good as the other


Kent Osborne

Kent Osborne

Weenie #1

Guest Star

Clancy Brown (I)

Clancy Brown (I)

Irish fish

Recurring Role

Tom Kenny

Tom Kenny

SpongeBob SquarePants/Gary/Mr. SquarePants/Narrator/Various Others/The sponge with black hair

Recurring Role

Rodger Bumpass

Rodger Bumpass

Squidward Tentacles

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (41)

    • How exactly could SpongeBob forget his name?  I know that he cleared his mind, but you can't clear it that much.

    • "Hommina hommina hommina" is Ralph Kramden's catch phrase in the TV show The Honeymooners.

    • SpongeBob clears his mind except for everything about fine dining and breathing. But waiters and waitresses need to know their name in fine dining. So he shouldn't have forgotten his name.

    • In "No Weenies Allowed," in Weenie Hut Jr., SpongeBob and the geeks are sitting each on 2 different colors, blue and white. Whenever there is a different shot, the seat color under SpongeBob and the geeks changes.

    • When Squilliam arrives at Squidward's "five-star restaurant," it is nighttime. But, at the end of the episode, after Squidward says, "Would you get out of here?!", it is daytime. The disaster might have occurred before dawn or it was just an animation goof.

    • Before Squilliam enters the restaurant, it still shows the window, however, as soon as he enters, there is wallpaper rather than windows.

    • The world's smallest violin changes sizes during the episode.

    • For the finale of SpongeBob's "fight," Patrick gives himself a wedgie. From the way it is shown, he would have to have Telekinesis.

    • After Sandy flipped Reg's tattoo around, it then is flapped back to normal still reading "WOW." Later it then says "MOM" again. Then it was squiggle lines.

    • This episode was shown in the movie, Orange County, when Lance Brumder (played by Jack Black) was watching TV. The clips were out of order, and later in the movie War of the Worlds where Rachel Ferrier (played by Dakota Fanning) was watching "The Secret Box" out of order.

    • In "No Weenies Allowed," when SpongeBob called Patrick tubby, Patrick punched SpongeBob in his left eye. In the next shot of SpongeBob, he has a black eye on his right eye.

    • When SpongeBob went above the water, he looked like a kitchen sponge, but when Patrick went above water in "Big Pink Loser," he stayed the same (although he couldn't breath).

    • When Mr. Krabs realizes, that Squilliam is coming to the Krusty Krab, something pops in above his head, like in many cartoons. This time, it is a squiggly line that resembles Squilliam's hair.

    • In "Squilliam Returns", Krabs is in charge of the meal, which didn't turn out too well, but didn't he create the Krabby Patty? Everyone liked Krabby Patties, so why doesn't he cook good when Squidward had him cook?

    • Squillian Returns;[Spongebob]:Breathing and fine dining are all I know".If this is true, then why did he know how to walk,talk or blink?

    • Correction to the "band class/ high school" goof: Would you say that Band class is AT the high school?!

    • In a Spongebob DVD, Patrick's eyes don't grow when he says "May I take your hat sir" but in the TV series his eyes do grow.

    • When Mr. Krabs was making the "appetizer" and the peas in an old fashioned way, Patrick isn't there. A couple of minutes later, Patrick and Mr. Krabs were running out of the kitchen when the appetizer came alive.

    • When Mr. Krabs "slides" up to Squidward, his eyes were WHITE when they are usually GREEN.

    • The first time you the Squidward statue with a pitcher fountain in SQR, its head is on, but when Krabs and Patrick run out of the kitchen, there's no head!

    • In No Weenies Allowed, when Sandy makes the "I'm Sandy" pun, Spongebob acts as though it's the first time he's heard it - but he made the exact same pun in Ripped Pants.

    • Response to more people around Squilliam: He could have probably invited more people to come to Squidward's "five-star restaurant".

    • This is a correction to the one where Spongebob knew Squidards name once he cleared his mind. It was said Spongebob said "It was easy SQUIDWARD once I cleared my mind". He said exactly that, but without Squidward's name.

    • Response to the last goof: Seating people Has to do with fine dining.

    • When Squilliam leaves the Krusty Krab inviting everyone to his ballon/casino, there is a clock above the door that is normally not there in other episodes.

    • Reg said he belonged at Super Weenie Hut Jr. except Spongebob goes into Weenie Hut Jr.

    • Incorrectly considered a goof, the "It was easy, Squidward" goof: Sponge NEVER said Squid's name. Here is the actual dialoug:
      Squid: How did you do this?
      Sponge: It was easy, once I cleared my mind.

    • When everyone runs out of the Krusty Krab, an employee badge falls onto Squidward, but as usual, you never see it again in any other episode.

    • In this episode, Tom's married to Evelin. But in Club SpongeBob, Frank's married to Evelin.

    • How did SpongeBob know how to talk when he cleared his mind?

    • In "Band Geeks" Squilliam says to Squidward, "I hear you're playing the cash register now" but in this ep, Squilliam doesn't know Squidward works as a cashier?-+

    • In "Squilliam Returns" Squilliam insults Squidward about he never did anything right. Doesn't he remember how Squidward wonderfully led a band in "Band Geeks"??

    • In Band Geeks, When Squilliam calls Squidward, Squidward said he knew him from band class. But in Squilliam Returns he said he knows Squilliam from high school!

    • Why was Spongebob scared of the big guy who was "looking nasty" at him? He would of absorbed his punches like he did in "Big Bully"!

    • Speaking of which, when Patrick punches Spongebob in the face, he's affected by the blow. Why didn't he abosorb it as in "The Bully"??

    • In "Squilliam Returns," after SpongeBob is a fine waiter, Squidward says "SpongeBob, how did you do all this?", but later SpongeBob didn't know his name.

    • In No Weenies Allowed Sandy put Reg's tattoo upside down and it says wow later it normal and STILL says wow later IT'S NORMAL and with scribbles.

    • When they first show Squilliam, there's about 5 people around him. A little later in the episode, there's over 10 people around him.

    • When SpongeBob first comes in to the Weenie Hut, he sits a seat away from the two geeks (there is a seat between Sponge and them), and then a few scenes later, he is shown sitting right next to them.

    • At one point, Squidward is looking at how Spongebob improved the Krusty Krab and says, "How did you do this?" and Spongebob says "It was easy SQUIDWARD, once I cleared my mind." If he cleared his mind, how does he know Squidward's name?

    • In Squilliam Returns, when Squid told Sponge to clear his mind, Sponge did. So how could he still know the words "I can seat you immediately" or the other stuff when he served Squilliam his food.

  • QUOTES (34)

    • Squidward: I own a five-star restaurant!
      Squilliam: Squidward, I had no idea you were such a success.
      Squidward: That's right.
      Squilliam: And I would be honored if you would allow me to come to your restaurant… tonight!
      (Squidward's nose shrinks)
      Squidward: T-t-t-t-t-tonight?

    • Squilliam: On your lunch break, eh, Squiddy?

      Squidward: Yes...I mean, no...I mean...uhh, uhh, hey, whatcha been up to?
      Squilliam: Oh, just succeeding in everything you've failed in.

    • Squilliam: (talking to a group of people) So, I just took my private yacht across my private lake to my private heliport. It's the only way off my private island.

    • Squidward's Mind: Lie, Squidward. Lying always makes it better.

    • SpongeBob: I'd like to gain access to your social club, I believe my hairdo is in order.
      (Reg rips off the clown wig)
      SpongeBob: Er... hehe... So... where d'you stand on the whole bald versus shaved debate?

    • (SpongeBob has his hands in an ice cream sundae after breaking them)
      Robot: Would you like another sundae, weenie?
      SpongeBob: I am not a weenie!
      Nerd 1: Relax. You're among friends!
      SpongeBob: My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Juniors!
      Patrick: You tell 'em, SpongeBob!
      SpongeBob: Patrick! What are you doing here?
      Patrick: I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesday!
      Nerd 1: Actually, they moved Double Weenie Wednesday to Friday.
      Nerd 2: And besides, today is Monday.
      Patrick: Oh! So it's Mega Weenie Monday?
      Nerd 1: Uh, that's now on Sunday.
      Patrick: Barnacles!
      Nerd 2: Super Weenie Hut Juniors has a Mega Weenie Monday.
      Nerd 1: Uh, no. You're thinking of Monster Weenie Monday.

    • Squilliam: What really impressed me was your brilliant waiter! It's as if all he knows about is fine dining! And breathing. I must know your name!
      SpongeBob: My name?

    • Drifter SpongeBob: What's shakin', my man?
      Reg: Not much. Wel- say, don't I know you?
      Drifter SpongeBob: Doubt it. I'm a drifter; just blew into town. Heard your place was pretty tough; thought I'd check it out.
      Reg: You can't fool me, I know it's you! (attempts to pull hair off)
      SpongeBob: (wearing clown wig) Hey, everybody!

    • Squidward: I thought you said that you were the head chef on the S.S. Gourmet?
      Mr. Krabs: Did I say that? No. I cleaned the bathrooms on the Gourmet! I was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea.

    • Boss Sponge: Just got an order from the boss; dump everything that does not have to do with fine dining.
      Sponges: Everything?
      Boss Sponge: Everything! Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for?
      Sponge: You don't pay me. We don't even exist. We're just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.
      Boss Sponge: One more crack like that and you're out of here!
      Sponge: No, please! I have three kids!

    • Squidward: Oh, Shrimp!


    • Squilliam: I have no yacht, jet, or anything! I was only tying to impress you. The horrible, sad truth is... I'M A CASHIER TOO!!!
      Squidward: Is that true?

    • SpongeBob: Would you like some cheese on that sir? (starts grating a person's butt onto his meal)

    • Squidward: I'm done with my shift, Mr. Krabs! And let me just say... there will come a day when I will make something of my life and will never have to set foot in this greasetrap again! (the background suddenly changes to a bunch of people cheering, and triumphant music plays. As soon as Mr. Krabs begins to talk, the background goes back to normal and the music comes to a halt.)
      Mr. Krabs: Well, see you after your lunch break, Squidward.
      Squidward: Okay.

    • Weenie: Hey, how come you never help us out with our problems?
      I am a robot, not a miracle worker.

    • Reg: Woah buddy, ya still can't go in.
      Spongebob: Well, that makes me pretty mad.
      Reg: Oh, really?
      Spongebob: Yeah. I might have to beat someone up to get rid of all this blind fury.
      Reg: Heh, wow.
      Spongebob: And I feel pretty sorry for the next guy who looks at me funny!
      Reg: Hmm...well, what about that guy?
      Spongebob: (turns and sees tough fish) Gah-gah-gah- Uhh...don't be silly! He's not bothering anybody, I mean not like...that guy!
      Patrick: Who, me?
      Spongebob: Yeah you, standin' there smilin' and what not. Someone outta teach you some manners!
      Patrick: Okay, but I must warn you. I happen to be a worldwide championship- uhh... (looks at hand) kick...box...er (winks)
      Spongebob: I don't care if you're the demon seed of Davy Jones. You're going down Tubby!
      Patrick: Tubby? (cries then gets angry) Grrr! Nobody calls me Tubby! (punches Spongebob in face)
      Spongebob: (with black eye) Wait Patrick! You're supposed to let me win remember?
      Patrick: Oh yeah.

    • Robot: Would you care for another diet cola with a lemon twist, Weenie?
      Spongebob: But I'm not a weenie.
      Robot: (X-Rays over Spongebob) I'm sorry, sir. But my sensors indicate that you are indeed a weenie.
      Spongebob: But that's impossible! (runs to the Salty Spitton.)
      Robot: You can't hide what's inside.

    • Doctor: What happened?
      SpongeBob: I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boo's!
      Doctor: Boo-boo's, huh? I think you guys want that hospital.
      SpongeBob: Weenie Hut General?!

    • Squidward: Patrick, what are you doing here?
      Patrick: I thought the core would help me straighten out my life, sir!
      Squidward: The core? (cools off) Well, beggars can't be choosers. Can you take hats in a dignified and sophisticated manner?
      Patrick: You mean like a weenie? Oh, okay! (eyes get big and sounds like a moron) May I take your hat, sir? May I take your hat, sir? May I take your-
      Squidward: Okay, I've heard enough. You get the job.

    • Squilliam: So then I took my private jet across my private lake to my private heliport. It's the only way off my private island.

    • Reg: How tough are you?
      Tough Fish: How tough am I??!! How tough am I?! I ate a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning.
      Reg: Yeah, so?
      Tough Fish: Without any milk!

    • Squidward: Could you read this?
      Squilliam: Squidward Tentacles...
      Squidward: And wear this.
      Squillam: Squidward Tentacles...
      Squidward: I'm sorry, could you say that a little louder?
      Squilliam: (over intercom) Squidward Tentacles owns the fanciest restaurant in Bikini Bottom. And he doesn't suck eggs.

    • Sandy: SpongeBob's acting jumpier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel. Wait, what?

    • Squilliam: I must know your name.
      SpongeBob: My name? Uh... Beef... Wellington?
      Squilliam: No, your name, son.
      SpongeBob: The fork on the left?
      Squidward: Stop joking, tell him your name.
      SpongeBob: Rar, rar!

    • Robot: Would you care for another soda with a lemon twist, weenie?
      SpongeBob: But I'm not a weenie!
      Robot: (x-ray's SpongeBob) I'm sorry, sir, but my sensors definitely indicate the you definitely are a weenie.
      SpongeBob: But it can't be possible. (runs to the Salty Spitton)
      Robot: You can't hide what's inside!

    • Spongebob: More soup for your armpit?

    • SpongeBob: I'll have you know that I stubbed my toe while watering my spice garden and I only cried for 20 minutes!

    • Everyone: Homina Homina Homina Homina Homina...
      Spongebob: Table for homina?

    • Fish: Oh, great! It took 3 days to make that potato salad... 3 days!

    • Squidward: Empty your mind and forget about everything, except fine-dining and breathing.

    • Krabs: Aww, boo hoo. Let me play you a song on the world's smallest violin.
      Squidward: No, seriously!
      Krabs: Seriously, this really is the world's smallest violin!

    • Brain SpongeBob: We threw out his name!!

    • Squidward: (thinking) Just try imagining him in his underwear. (shows Squlliam big buff in his underwear))
      Squidward: Oh, no, he's hot!

  • NOTES (25)


    • SpongeBob: I'll have you know that I stubbed my toe in my spice garden last week, and I only cried for twenty minutes.

      This line has turned into a series of memes, known as "I'll have you know" memes. The meme will feature SpongeBob from the shot, with captions. An example would be, "I'll have you know that I removed my flash drive without safely ejecting it."

    • Title: Squilliam Returns

      This could be a parody of Batman Returns.

      This is straight out of the movie "Full Metal Jacket"

    • Response to #1:
      Just for the record, the diet lemon soda was named Kelpsi in a SBSQ PC game.

    • Squilliam/Squid/Fish: Humina, humina, humina
      Humina isn't just a silly word, but a word from honeymooners.

    • Robot: Care for another diet soda with a lemon twist, weenie?
      This is a take-off on Pepsi with lemon twist.