Squidbillies Season 2 Episode 2

Rusty: (About his second egg) But what if its Dracula in there?
Early: Rusty's right. If its Dracula it best be killed.
Sheriff: Uh, you can't give birth to a Dracula, you gotta be a Dracula to give birth to a Dracula.
(Early pulls out his gun at Rusty)
Early: So you was the Dracula!
Rusty: I was?!

Granny: Why don't you take that weak s*** to the park where maybe the squirrels will care?

Granny: Its a miracle! What are we gonna name it?
(Early crushes the egg)
Early: NOTHING! I turn my back for one damn three-day bender and you trans-sexulate yourself into a damn womern? Nuh-uh, (starts dragging rusty) we about to nip this in the nut, right now!

Granny: (about Rusty's egg) Praise the lord! Its the second coming.
Early: No Granny, its just another f***ing mouth to feed.

Narrator: Puberty is a turbulent and an insecure time in a young man's life. His voice changes, hair grows in unexpected places, and the inside of his pants become a firing range for his uncontrolable, volcanic anus.
Rusty: Daddy! Daddy! Look what came outta my butt during the night!
(Rusty points to a giant blue egg)