We open with the guys eating breakfast in three unusual weather-related outfits. When they realize that nobody checked the weather, they decide to go outside to get the newspaper so they can check the weather.
When they get outside, they find their paper boy Kevin being bullied. They tell the bullies to stop, and they do. Apparently more impressed with their own courage than concerned for Kevin's well-being, the three go back inside praising each other.
The next day, they make the same outfit folly again. Once again, Kevin is being bullied. The guys hurry to stop them, and when the bullies start to run away they jump into their car. Once again oblivious to Kevin, the guys hit him and, panicked, speed off, leaving him writhing in pain with a broken leg.
Haunted by their guilt, the guys decide to visit Kevin in the hospital, giving him a harpsichord and a confession. Kevin needs his paper route to pursue his dream of going to college, and asks the trio to take over his route. As Michael Ian Black laughingly puts it, "In a word... no."
However, the guys reconsider and go to Kevin's boss for the job. He reluctantly lets them, but only because it's for Kevin. He then asks, "You guys know how to ride a bike, right?"
The guys struggle as they teach themselves how to ride a bike, but within minutes they're doing wheelies. They master their route and are invited to the old warehouse by another paperboy named Shakespeare.
The guys gain acceptance among the paperboys, and inevitably a dance party starts. But then the JT, Kevin's bully, comes in and starts a fight. Using brass knuckles and numchucks ("Sweet," admires David), the bullies promptly beat the guys up.
They walk away in shame. They see the neighbor girls and try to disguise themselves with blackface but to no avail. They hide in their apartment like "cowards". But a week later, Kevin comes in and inspires the guys (without really saying anything) to confront JT.
The trio challenge JT to a duel at the old warehouse at midnight. But instead of using force, they subdue JT with a happy little rap called "The Friendship Song". JT tries to punch them, but the force of friendship, the "strongest force in the world" as Michael Ian Black says, stops him.
For whatever reason, Don Robertson (a record producer) sees the whole performance and offers Michael, Michael, and David a record deal with a big advance.
They give the advance to Kevin, prompting a chorus of "Yaaay!"s. 11 years later we see Kevin's college graduation ceremony. He thanks JT, who "used to be my archnemesis but is now my best friend". He also thanks, most importantly the three guys who made everything possible: Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and...