Sandy: Well, I'd love to stick around, but this lovefest is bringing up my fajitas.
Sandy: Hey, Wilhelmina. What's the word?
Bill: I'm going to go with skank.
Sandy: (to Judy) You don't look like you had three kids. (sees Bill) Whoa, you look like you're expecting the fourth.
Judy: How are those cigars treating you?
Bill: Like a breath of fresh air.
Bill: (on how Judy changed him) You work like the waves—each year there's less and less Bill on the beach.
Judy: Then how come it takes more and more suntan lotion?
Sandy: Yo, Judes, I'm sick of hanging out with your boring-ass sister.
Linda: It's only been ten seconds, and I can hear you.
Lauren: I'm no good at the clarinet, and I see no reason to humiliate myself at a recital.
Brian: Not when there's plenty of spelling bees and science fairs to do it for you.
Brian: What's a man fort?
Bill: It's a place where a man can fortify his manhood in a fort-like environment.
Judy: Can you turn it down? Brian's trying to study.
Bill: Come on, Judy, you think Journey's wife tells him to turn it down?
Sandy: (to Linda) Hey, stick around, Pimples, it's ladies night out.
Bill: Then why are you going?
Carl: Oh, my God, I went to the prom with my sister!
Music: Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again"; Ludwig van Beethoven's Minuet in G
Judy refers to Bill in his basement man-fort as "Spicoli down there," a reference to Sean Penn's character in Amy Heckerling's 1982 film Fast Times at Ridgemont High.