The banner at the Iambic Pentathlon is misspelled "Pentathalon."
Bill: You need to have a little self-control.
Brian: Self-control? Dad, when we were at the club you ate chicken skin off the floor.
Bill: Suddenly Mr. Every Day Strip-Club Guy is judging me for eating a little floor skin.
Bartender: [Brian]'s in the Fantasy Room, and I wish you'd get him out of there. I don't like what he's doing with those girls.
Judy: Did you hear that, Bill? He doesn't like what he's doing with those girls, and he's a sleazebag!
Lauren: I have to read [your poem] at some stupid contest!
Linda: The Iambic Pentathlon?!
Linda: I can't go to a Clay Aiken concert without a teenage girl. I'll look like a weirdo. Where's Brian?
Judy: I thought you loved Stanford's Psychics Department?
Bill: If you go to Stanford, I can visit the O.C. Your mother gave me a free pass on Mischa Barton.
Judy: I thought you said, "LeVar Burton." Either way, knock yourself out.
Bill: Brian, I am so disappointed in you! You spend all afternoon at the strip club and you didn't bring any wings home for me?
Judy: How did it go up there?
Bill: Judy, I'm the boy's father, how do you think it went?
Judy: Oh, my God, we've lost him forever.