Still Standing

Season 3 Episode 11

Still Fast

Aired Monday 8:00 PM Dec 13, 2004 on CBS



  • Trivia

    • About 18 minutes into the episode, Linda gets a second bottle of water from the refrigerator and places it on the table next to the first water bottle in front of her. For the next three minutes, the second bottle disappears and reappears several times.

  • Quotes

    • Bill: Brian, I just found out about the bracelet information system. Do you know anything about it?
      Brian: Yeah, I have one. I never take it off.
      Bill: What does yours say you do?
      Brian: Mine says that I'll die if anybody gives me penicillin.

    • Terry: Why would you give each other hickeys with the vacuum cleaner?
      Chris: Because I wouldn't; it's all about those stupid bracelets.
      Judy: What bracelets?
      Lauren: Don't tell them, Becca.
      Becca: I have to, your mom is seriously scary.

    • Judy: Just because they're lesbians doesn't mean they're sex fiends.
      Bill: I've seen plenty of Cinemax movies that beg to differ.

    • Judy: How was your trip to the batting cages?
      Bill: Very educational—I found out my swing is too fast, and so is our daughter.

    • Linda: You're prepared to talk to [Lauren] about sex?
      Bill: (stunned) Huh?
      Judy: Sex, Bill. Don't be afraid of the word, you might have to use it up there.
      Linda: (gloating) And "penis" and "vagina".
      Bill: I won't have to use the p- and v-words. I can just say 'Patrick' and 'Virginia'.
      Judy: I don't think you're ready to have this talk with our daughter.
      Bill: Why not?
      Linda: Because you're a big 'Virginia'.

    • Judy: You don't want to get a reputation.
      Lauren: I cannot believe that you're talking to me about a reputation.
      Judy: What's that supposed to mean?
      Lauren: You're the one who was easy in high school.
      Judy: Where did you hear that?
      Lauren: From you!! And dad. And Aunt Linda. And the crossing guard.

    • Lauren: I feel like everybody at school looks at me like I'm a baby.
      Judy: Would you rather they look at you because you have a baby?

    • Bill: Chris said that Lauren's the one looking to move too fast. I'm going to go tuck her into bed... with a staple gun.

    • Bill: (on Chris' mothers) Can you believe those two? That kid of theirs has 'em so fooled.
      Judy: Well, they really do seem to trust and respect their son. That's gonna bite 'em on the ass.

    • Bill: There's a kite club?
      Brian: Yeah, I'm vice-president.
      Bill: So, if the president can't fulfill his duties, you get beat up by the football team.

  • Notes

  • Allusions