Coach Stone: (to Bill) You're Brian Miller's father? Smart Brian Miller? Biological father?
Bill: (eyeing the wall) There she is son, just waiting to be mounted. You get on top of that, you'll finally be a man.
Coach Stone: Your son can pass gym if he signs up for square dancing like all the other wussbags.
Judy: I'm all for you making a man out of Brian, but I'm not sure there's a man in there.
Bill: At this point I'd settle for a tough lesbian.
Louise: Do you want to feel my square dancing thigh?
Bill: No, I dosey don't!
Bill: The Millers are climbers.
Judy: Except socially and financially.
Judy: I signed you up for square dancing.
Brian: How could you do that?! Square dancing is lame.
Judy: You love lame stuff.
Brian: Not that lame!
When Bill is trying to coach Brian to climb the wall, the music is a rip-off of Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger", the theme to Sylvester Stallone's 1983 film Rocky III.
When Brian finally succeeds in climbing the wall, the music played is a rip-off of Vangelis' score for Hugh Hudson's 1981 film Chariots of Fire.
Brian, dressed as a cowboy, complains he looks like "Howdy frickin' Doody," referring to the marionette on Howdy Doody, a children's television program that aired on NBC from 1947 through 1960.