Bill: We got a nice little arrangement here: I can lie for you, you can lie for me, and our wives will never find out because they hate each other.
Bill: What are you doing when you talk about musicals?
Brian: Killing you.
Fitz: You know I got a camcorder. I could go with Bill and record it for you.
Judy: Really, are you sure you don't have anything better to do?
Fitz: Marion wants me to spend the day scrapbooking with her, so no.
Brian: Aunt Linda bought us tickets to another musical tonight and she won't tell me which one.
Bill: Is it the annoying one where they sing everything?
Linda: Brian, it's alright, you've developed a little crush on your aunt. It's prefectly natural.
Brian: Where, in countries where they don't have enough people?!
Marion: I guess this is why you couldn't scrapbook with me on Saturday. You were off filming some little PopTart and now you're showing it off to your pervert friends.
Judy: I made a fool out of myself in front of 'Old Fancypants' out there.
Fitz: (enters kitchen) Hey, listen, we can hear you out there and some of us have to sleep with 'Old Fancypants.'
Judy: (about Fitz's wife) Who puts towels in a bathroom and doesn't expect them to get a little dirty?
Bill: That's why whenever I use the bathroom at Fitz's house, I never wash my hands. I'm kiddin'. I wash them in the fish tank and dry 'em on the dog.
Music: Dance of the Hours from Amilcare Ponchielli's opera La Gioconda
Playing a videogame at Fitz's house, Bill comments it's like he really is "a beautiful, busty woman killin' people," implying they're playing one of the Tomb Raider games.