Ed Bailey: My wife loves vacations, you know. All she wants is vacations. The other night she told me, "take me somewhere I've never been before." I took her to a men's room.
Chris: That's your sister? She lives here?
Brian: Yeah, if you call someone who takes basic math 'living.'
Judy: (to Chris) I think it's great how you've accepted having two moms. And what's to accept? It's natural. In fact, it's better than natural; it's supernatural.
Brian: Mom, they're lesbians, not ghosts.
Terry: This is my son, Chris. He just started at Jefferson High.
Chris: Hi, nice to meet you.
Judy: Our son, Brian, goes to Jefferson. You might have some classes together.
Terry: Chris is in the special AP program.
Bill: (as though Chris were slow) Oh, well, good for you big fella!
Terry: Sometimes I feel like we're pushing him too hard, and it's not like we'll ever be able to stop him from liking girls.
Shelly: Yeah, I guess not. My mom certainly couldn't stop me.
Terry: It was a huge, drawn-out process for us to conceive.
Bill: I know, Judy's like that, too. Sometimes I gotta go through a whole checklist before I'm cleared for landing.
Terry: I never thought I could get more gay, but I just did.
Bill: (points to Shelly) Hey, good news for you!
Bill: (to Terry) We just wanted to welcome you and your, uh, your same-gendered life buddy.
Terry: It's alright. It's one of the nicest names we've been called.
Brian: This is Chris. He's our new neighbor, and he's also in some of my AP classes, so I'm just showing him the ropes.
Lauren: (to Chris) Did he show you the one in gym he can't climb?
Brian: I can't believe the neighbors agreed to let us build this deck.
Judy: Well, when Tina slipped and fell in the mud, they just couldn't say no.
Brian: Well, good thing she fell.
Judy: Yeah, fell.
Bill: (to Terry and Shelly) I was just chattin' with Lauren and Chris. Those two seem to be getting along great. Who knows, if this keeps up, you could become our lesbians-in-law.
Judy: (about Terry and Shelly) They don't think Lauren's good enough for their son? I resent that! Lauren can see whoever she wants, and no one can tell her otherwise.
Bill: If we don't break 'em up, we lose the deck.
Judy: She's a pretty girl. She'll land on her feet.
When the episode aired for the second time, before the end credits rolled, white lettering across a black screen read:
This episode of Still Standing
is dedicated to the memory of
This episode features Rodney Dangerfield's final performance. He passed away on October 5th, 2004.
Series star Renee Olstead and guest star Sean Marquette were both in the movie 13 Going on 30.
CBS repeated this episode on Monday, November 1, 2004 at 8:00 PM.