Bill: Stop the wedding, why in the world would you do that?
Al: She's my wife, and we belong together.
Bill: She's your ex-wife, and you told her that being married to her was like having cancer of the soul.
Al: It used to be we'd make love, and your mother would get up, flushed in the afterglow of our night's passion, and go into the kitchen and make me a stack of pancakes. I'd give anything to have that back.
Bill: I'd give anything to have my love of pancakes back.
Judy: Where are you going?
Bill: I thought I might take a run.
Judy: Will there be tigers chasing you? Because that's the only way you'd ever run.
Louise: (on a shower gift) A rice cooker, what was she thinking? My fiancé is Asian; I'm marrying a rice cooker.
Louise: Nice girl, but [Linda]'s the kind of woman who sends good men straight to the sauce.