Still Standing Season 1 Episode 15

Judy: (reading Bill's card) "Every day you take my breath away."
(the card farts when opened; Bill laughs)
Judy: "Now hold yours."

Bill: Why are you wearing boots?
Judy: It's a look.
Bill: You forgot to shave your legs.
Judy: I did not. These boots are sexy.
Bill: Maybe at a strip joint in Fairbanks.

Brian: Oh, no, I was praying it wasn't you.
Bill: What are you talking about?
Brian: Some kid said they saw a hooker and her parole officer walking around and I said, "please don't let it be my parents."
Judy: How could you think it would be us?
Brian: It is you!

Principal Bodin: I didn't think you'd written the note, Brian. An honors English student (turns head towards Bill) wouldn't have used the word "hot" twice in one sentence and misspelled "bodacious."

Judy: It's Valentine's Day? Son-of-a-crap! Now I got to waste my entire lunch hour finding something for your father.