Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Season 1 Episode 2

The Cold Open

Aired Monday 10:00 PM Sep 25, 2006 on NBC

Episode Recap

The show opens with Jordan holding a Press Conference for NBS. Jordan answers a question about the sensibility of the show and she answers by saying that she'll be asking herself three questions: Do I like it? Would my parents like it? If I had kids, would I want them to watch it? THe questions about Wesley's statements begin and Jordan makes a crack about Fox. Danny is looking at the screen and saying that she's doing well. Matt tells Danny that he shouldn't have send Jeannie with him because she stayed with him for the whole weekend. The writing team feels crappy about having to work with Matt and Danny, none of them know whether or not they will be working for or with Matt. Danny and Matt agree that their business move was a stupid one. Harriett and Jeannie have a conversation and exchange opinions about each other. Jordan continues to boost the opening of Danny and Matt. THe two are presented to the press and Danny decides to confess his drug problem to the press. The press begins to question Jordan about it. She claims that she, 'was too high to remember.' Jordan, Matt, and Danny are surprised when "Rapture Magazine" asks about the sketch called "Crazy Christians." Jordan tries to avoid the question but Matt jumps into the question and answers 'Rapture' about how he wrote the sketch "Four years ago" and it wasn't aired. "Rapture" continues pressing the issue asking if now that they have returned to the show if the sketch will be aired now that they have returned. Matt tries to speak and saying that "It's Monday, I dont' know what will air on Friday," but Danny says "Yes. Yes, it'll be on the air Friday night." They go backstage and all begin discussing the matter at hand. Shelly also gets involved. Jack says that "no one speaks until I point and say their name." Danny goes first and claims that honesty isa good idea for him since he is a recovering alcoholic. Shelly says that the network cannot be excluding religious publications and Jordan asks how many "whack-jobs read 'Rapture Magazine.'" Shelly says that it has 4 times the readers of Vanity Fair. Jordan thinks she's kidding but Shelly assures her; she not! Jack is surprised and asks if the rapture is "the world comes to an end and all the believers get into an spaceship." Matt asks about the non-believers, Jordan replies by saying tha tthey get thrown into a fiery pit. Matt and Danny question Jordan about what she said about the press conference and raising the bar a little high. Jordan says that they have to clear it.

Matt says that he needs a Cold Open for the show. Matt and Danny talk about Harriet, Danny asks if it's going to be a problem, Matt says it wont. They walk into the building. Danny asks Matt about their earlier conversation and about Harriet and Jeannie. They arrive at the building and salute Jorge (pronounced George) and Danny tells him that Matt would salute him but he's gone into a coma right now. Jorge says that he "remembers the look." Matt and Danny neither want Wes's old office. Danny forces Matt to take the old office, Matt argues that the man wrote for "The Smothers Brothers, Pryor, and Cosby. He invented Studio 60." He gave him his first job and also argues that he lost his job because of sketch he wrote and tried to put it on the air. Danny says it's not. Matt wants Lornes Michaels office, but Danny tells him that "Lornes' office is in New York and he's still using it. So, you'll have to use this one." They enter the office and find a huge timer attached to the wall. The office oversees the Studio 60 Stage. They both notice the times and Danny exclaims "this is new." Matt says that that's the reason that he went crazy. Matt doesn't seem to understand how a clock can count backwards and remembers how much time there is left in the week. Danny tries to explain it but Matt thinks that it's more than that. They leave for the meeting. Danny says that he's not changing the set and Matt says that he doesn't know any of the guys, "They're all Ricky and Rons." Danny says that he'll put them at ease and go with him for a second. Danny: 'Morning. HI! We spoke for a few minutes Friday Night and we'll get to know each other in time. For now, I'll just say this isn't TV Camp. It's not important for us that everyone gets a chance. COme at Matt with good ideas, you'll be a big part of the show. Don't, it won't matter. 'Cause he won't remember your name.' Danny asks if matt's gonna be okay, and matt says that yes unless he wants to relax everyone some more. Tommy is reading Bernadette of the Bernadette BLog is saying that Studio 60 is nowhere near as good as SNL, and never erally has been. Simon begins to wonder about Matt's condition and sitting down for 14 hours straight due to his recent surgery. He claims that he has had the same back surgery previously and since he's exceptional in many ways and that's why he didn't miss a show. Harriet assures him that 14 hours is a short day for him. Jeannie says that they should not worry because "he's doing 40 leg lifts with 30-pound weights." SImon claims that he couldn't even tie his shoe. Danny meets with the cast and tells him that they should be thinking about whether or not they will be replaced in the near future. Also he doesn't want to hear any complaints right now and that they will make all of their decisions pretty soon. Mark Wahlberg is the new host and Matt is not going to make his first show about Mark Wahlberg. White Stripes are the musical guests and Tommy says that he and Harriett have a number to make fun of the White Stripes and he says it's pretty good, Sam backs him up. SImon asks Danny about Matt and wants to know if he can sit in a chair because he couldn't sit after 8 days of the surgery. "And he's an athlete." He wants to challenge him to a match of strength and Jeannie says that she spent the weekend with Matt at his house, Harriett gets angry. Simon keeps pressing Danny about their previous success on the show. Danny doesn't care so Tom stops him. Danny says he'll get it from the tape library.

The team of writers are all pressing "Bush" ideas starting with "The Democracy Act." Matt is not liking any of the ideas, the second idea is the "Bush new Drug Czar." Matt breaks out and asks to "Just Stop." Matt: What are you all wearing? I'm not Blackwell or anything, but, holy cow, what the hell are you guys wearing? One of the things this show does is decide what's cool, and I've just decided that it's no longer cool for grown men to dress as if they're in junior high school. SOmeone argues that it's Comedy. Matt says that "not yet, its not." Matt claims that he wants for everyone to act, dress, behave, and write professionally. Harriett bursts in and calls him an adolescent, whoremonger. Matt says that it will all begin in just a few minutes. Harriet confronts Matt about him "dating" Jeannie and how impressed she was by his 30-pound leg lifts and how she told them all about it. Tom and Simon couldn't look at her, Danny either and she was humiliated, and what does he have to say about that?? He says that he will make her "the highest paid Extra in Hollywood" if she ever walks into that room and talks to him in front of the staff like that again or he will bench her until christmas. DO you understand? Harriett: yes. Matt argues that after she broke up with him, she has a problem with him going out withsomeone else? Harriett says yes -- he could have gone to the 17 strip bars in the 3 block radius -- because it is someone from "her" show. Matt says it's NOT her show, it's HIS show. He also says that there are only 5 strip clubs within the 3-block radius. She's been there for 7 years, he's been there for 9, so's Jeannie. Matt says that she was the only that broke up with him and he still has a copy of the email and a backup copy to prove it. She says that his is in a trash can. SHe says it's hard for her to read about him and "Mena Suvari. Fionna Apple. Rachel McAdams. Marlo Thomas." Marlo's married to Phil Donahue according to him, he could even kick his a$$ still because he's a huge Irish man. Harry says she's too tired for him to deal with and Matt says he doesn't get involved with people that "work for him." Harry says that that was "just mean." Matt says he didn't mean to be mean and that Danny sent her home with him to make sure she's okay. Harriett asks him to sit down, write, and give her a damn audience.


the rapture again, Shelly and Jack. Sales and Affiliate Relations want to meet with Jordan. Jack asks what took so long and why she was standing there for so long. Jordan says that she was meeting his intern Kelly. Jack says her name is Kayla. Peter and Joe are the representatives and want to make sure that "Crazy Christians" does not air in Terre Haute. Jack and Shelly want to make sure that the sketch doesn't air. Joe and Peter argue that the affiliates are necessary, Jordan argues that it's a backwater town that probably has never even seen the show. Jack says his next job might be to teach everyone at that place how to change the channel because Jordan won't budge on changing the sketch or pulling it from the air. Jordan says it was her first promise as President of NBS and that she will not break it or stand down. She calls Peter and Joe, "Porter and Jim." She tells Shelly to worry about the network's back and not her own. She leaves. Cut to Cal and Danny meeting with the stage crew. Cal asks Danny if he knows anything F/X, film fillers, sound and others for the upcoming show. Danny says no to all of them becuase Matt hasn't finished writing anything. Danny gets word that the WHite Stripes will not be performing because Jack White is sick. Danny asks about any band that is available and wants a list in two hours. There is no musical guest for the show. Danny and Simon begin a conversation about why Danny and Matt left, Simon argues that they left them with Ricky and Ron. They all go to visit matt. matt stares at two segments for the White Stripes and he has nothing for the show so far. Tom comes in with a Wig as Jack White and they all say he's just a guy with a wig because Whtie Stripes wont' be there. Matt tells the tale of his dress-code lecture and how he hasn't been able to come up with a cold opening. Matt says that he doesn't have an opening that is sefl-deprecating, an acknowledgement, an acceptance, a message from the producers. They all work together and pay attention to everythign that the show has been through. Matt: We'll be a model... We'll be a model... Matt: The show will be a model of a very modern network TV show. Simon: We hope that you dont' mind that our producer was caught doing blow. Matt and Danny keep harrassing Jane about musiciand, LA Philharmonic and other orchestras, she says she's with Clay Aiken's manager. Tom asks about Harriett and Matt agrees. SImon wants to talk about what happened earlier with Danny but Danny says forget it and let's work.

Friday arrives

200 to 300 protestors are calling NBS God Haters. Matt takes the control room and tells everyone what to do. Matt and Danny have a discussion about the fact that he's in love with Harriett. Matt describes every which way as to why he's in love with her and they're both in agreement: "We're Screwed!" Jeannie and Harriett come to terms about what she said on Tuesday. Danny has a conversation with Simon about how they all left the show and Wes felt that he didn't stand up for them. Simon says he can't do the voices for Ricky and Ron and that's why he was heavily angry when Danny and Matt left. They both go through the list as to why he was pissed and didn't feel like he belonged there. Now both of them beleive that they belong there. Simon asks Danny not to fire him and Danny asks him WHY??? Danny gives him a new spot and they both agree that his Cosby impression was BAD. Jack and Jordan reminisce about: "You nkow what, Mary? YOu have Spunk. I hate Spunk" Four local sponsors and three national ones dropped from airing of the week. Matt and Danny meet before going into the backstage area to meet with the cast. Danny gives them a good pep talk, but Matt screws it up. Harriett provides a prayer before the show. Harriett and Matt come to terms about what they both said, also about a skit. Cal pulls a quick 30-second before the show joke on Danny that freaks him out. Cal says it's comedy and he's joking, "welcome back." The song is pulled off beautifully. The skit is funny, the philharmonic changes some of the lyrics for comedy. Everyone laughs and the show goes on. Matt smiles, turns around, and the clock is going again.