All in the Family was one of the shows given as examples of shows that did well after extremly poor focus group tests. This week's Studio 60 host is Rob Reiner, who co-starred on that show.
Guest Host: Rob Reiner
Guest Performer: Gwen Stefani (doesn't actually appear onscreen)
Jordan: Can I ask? Are you troubled at all by the spectacular lack of success these things have had at predicting success.
Jack: That's not true.
Jordan: They blew 'All In The Family'. They blew 'Seinfeld'. They blew 'Hill Street Blues'.
Jack: Look at the data on ER. Clooney broke the needle.
Jordan: Yeah, I need a damn focus group to tell me Clooney's good-looking.
Danny: It's just, I can't remember sometimes; are you a boy pussy cat or a girl pussy cat?
Matt: What the hell...
Danny: You're a boy pussy cat.
Danny: You're a Pussy Boy!
Matt: Cause I put a Bush sketch at 12:55?
Matt: You know what else started at 12:55? Wayne's World.
Danny: Good for them!
Matt: You think...
Danny: That you're a pussy boy?
(Puts Danny in a headlock and tackles him to the ground)
Matt: I'm three years younger than you and faster OLD MAN!
(Danny pushes Matt and rolls him onto his back before sitting on his chest)
Danny: I'm three years older and stronger than you LITTLE BOY!
Jordan: Commedia dell'arte is Italian.
Jack: Who cares? He didn't like it.
Jordan: He didn't get it!
Jack: No problem, then. Just give America a tutorial on 15th-century Restoration comedy before each show.
Jordan: 17th century, and Restoration comedy is English.
Danny: What? They were asked if it was patriotic or unpatriotic?
Danny: It's a television show, it's not the Iwo Jima memorial.
Jordan: He wanted me to go to clubs with him.
Jack: What kind of clubs?
Jordan: Golf, tennis, wine tasting...
Jack: (interrupting) Hey! Jordan!
Jordan: The kind where you watch other people having sex! (pause) I was twenty-five. I married a slug.
Jack: So did my wife, but I don't make her go to Plato's Retreat.
Jordan: You make her go to the People's Choice Awards. That's not bad enough?
Matt: Tell me the truth. How important is audience retention tonight?
Danny: It's important, Matt, we can't lose more than ten percent. What do you think? The sponsors, the affiliates, the press, the right, our job, Jordan's job, everybody's job. It's important.
Matt: All right, lie to me next time.
(Danny is sitting on Matt's chest after being knocked to the ground.)
Matt: Are people looking at us right now?
Danny: I think they are.
Matt: Well, could you punch me in the face or something, because to a casual observer this appears a little homoerotic for my comfort.
Danny: I definitely hear you on that. What should we do?
Matt: Get off me!
Danny: Alright, just play it cool.
Matt: What?! I'm working!! (turns to see Jordan and Danny walking in) Oh, sorry. Hi.
Jordan: I'll be out of your way in a minute.
Matt: Sure, what do you need?
Danny: She wants us to make fun of her.
Matt: Okay, well, your teeth are pretty big.
Danny: She wants you know it's okay with her if you make fun of her arrest.
Jordan: Thanks, I can speak for myself.
Danny: Go ahead.
Jordan: My teeth are fine.
Jordan: I'm saying you shouldn't give me special treatment.
Matt: No, because I wouldn't want anybody to think I was a pussy boy. (glares at Danny)
Jordan: You're a pussy boy?
Danny: Don't worry about it, I'll be around.
Danny: What the hell?!
Cal: Well, here's the story, Danny - last weekend's rainstorm loosened the soil and a 60 year old palm tree fell on a transformer line next to the studio.
Danny: Are they fixing it?
Cal: In a manner of speaking, yeah.
Danny: What does that mean?
Cal: They don't know how to fix it.
Danny: How much about this do I want to know?
Cal: As little as possible.
Danny: Okay. (turns and walks away)
Danny: They want to see you take fewer whacks at Bush, and it looks like they're getting their wish. Throw it out.
Matt: It's four years ago, all over again.
Danny: What did you think it was going to be?
Matt: Four years later. And by the way, I'd be happy to take shots at Democrats, too, if only one of them would say or do something!
Danny: Cal's guys are trying to figure out what's going on.
Matt: That's good, because everything we do here plugs into a socket.
Harriet: God loves me, and hates the both of you.
Simon: Prove it.
(the lights come back on all at once, and Simon slowly sits down)
Simon: Okay, seriously, I'm scared out of my mind.
Tom: Yeah, that was strange.
Harriet: Alright, moving on...
Matt: (talking about the power outage) Well, we need to find out why this is happening.
Matt: Electricity plays a pretty big part in what we do here.
Music in this episode:
"Sem Contenção" by Bebel Gilberto
"Alguém" by Ananda Project
"Throw It All Away" by Zero 7
"Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" by Dave Mason
Iwo Jima Memorial mentioned by Danny Tripp is also known as The United States Marine Corps War Memorial. It depicts one of the most historic battles of World War II, the battle of Iwo Jima. The memorial is dedicated to all marines who have given their lives in the battle.
It's a statue consisting of six men raising an American flag on Iwo Jima which is a Japanese island. The sculptor was inspired by a historic photograph taken on February 23, 1945 by Joe Rosenthal.
Tom: *reading* "As a result of the controversy, the school superintendent has cancelled their planned spring production of The Crucible."
Tom: It casts Christians in a bad light.
Harriet: Yeah, Salem wasn't our finest hour.
Arthur Miller's 1952 play The Crucible is about the witch-hunting hysteria in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692.
Merrily We Roll Along:
Jack Rudolph comments that "thieves get rich and saints get shot," a line from the song "Now You Know" from Stephen Sondheim's musical, Merrily We Roll Along.
Holly Hunter in "Broadcast News"
Harriet mentions using a Holly Hunter accent before the power goes out. After the power goes out she tells Matt ( as Holly Hunter), "It's hard for me to give you advice when you represent something I truly think is dangerous," which Jane Craig (Hunter) says to Tom Grunick (William Hurt) in the 1987 film Broadcast News. Then, a few minutes later she adds "I think you're the devil." Hunter uses this line later in the film when talking to Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks.)