Suits Season 1 Episode 1

Harvey: Listen, being a lawyer is like being a doctor.
Mike: You mean how you don't get emotional about the clients?
Harvey : No, I mean you have to keep pressing until it hurts. Then you'll know where to look.

Harvey: Look, I have to put my own interests above yours. It's nothing personal. You're fired.
Mike: What? So you're worried that if I stay that might find out about me and you'll lose your license. But if you fire me then I could tell them you lied about me and you'll definitely lose your license.
Harvey: Are you telling me that if I throw you under the bus, you're going to drag me with you?
Mike: You put your interests above mine and I'm just putting mine back up next to yours.Harvey: You're rehired.

Mike: I know where they don't want us to look.
Harvey: Did you get through all those files in one night?
Mike: Well, I would've done it faster, but I ordered a pizza. Speaking of which, have you ever had the cheese in the crust? Because it blew my mind.

Harvey: This is good. We're gonna have some fun.
Mike: We? I get to go?
Harvey: You didn't think I'd let you come along?
Mike: No.
Harvey: Good instinct. I wasn't, but then I thought it would be cruel not to let you witness my greatness.

Trevor: Michael, come on, you know I don't wanna live in a world where we're not tight.
Mike: Then kill yourself.

Mike: Donna, can you show me how to fill out a subpoena?
Donna: Absolutely. After that, you want me to show you how to wipe your ass?
Harvey: That's funny because he should already know how to do both those things.
Mike: Ah, yeah, that's hilarious.
(Donna hands Mike a business card)
Mike: What's that?
Harvey: That's my suit guy. Go in tell him I sent you and spend some money.
Mike: What does it matter how much money I spend on suits?
Harvey: People respond to how we're dressed. And, like it or not, this is what you have to do.
Mike: That's weird you giving me advice. Sounds like you actually care about me.
Harvey: I don't. You're a reflection of me and I absolutely care about me. So get your skinny tie out of my face and get to work.
Donna: That was a little harsh.
Harvey: Really?

Harvey: I'm not about caring; I'm about winning.
Mike: Why can't you be about both?
Harvey: I'd explain it to you, but then I'd have to care about you.

Harvey: Hey, didn't I tell you to get some better suits?
Mike: I spent $500.
Harvey: For how many suits?
Mike: Five... what?

Harvey: Jessica, if you hadn't done as much for me as you have, I'd be heading for the door.
Jessica: If I hadn't done as much for you as I have, I'd be throwing you out the window.

Mike: Wow, you're pretty.
Rachel: Good, you've hit on me. We can get it out of the way that I'm not interested.
Mike: No, I'm sorry, I wasn't hitting on you.
Rachel:Trust me, I've given dozens of these and, without fail, whenever a new hotshot it is who thinks that because I just a paralegal. That I will somehow be blown away by his dazzling degree. Let me assure you, I won't.
Mike: I was, I was hitting on you.
Rachel: You were. Take notes. I'm not gonna repeat myself.
Mike: I love you.

Harvey: You give me this and I will work as hard as it takes to school those Harvard douches and become the best lawyer you have ever seen.
Mike: I'm inclined to give you a shot, but what if I decide to go another way?
Mike: I'd say that's fair. Sometimes I like to hang out with people who aren't that bright, you know, just to see how the other half lives.
Harvey: Move over, I'm emailing the firm. I just found our next associate.

Harvey: We should hire you. Jesus, I'd give you the twenty-five grand as a signing bonus.
Mike: I'll take it.
Harvey: Unfortunately, we only hire from Harvard. And not only did you not go to Harvard Law School, you haven't gone to any law school.
Mike: What if I told you that I consume knowledge like no one you've ever met and I've actually passed the bar?
Harvey: I'd say you're full of crap.

Harvey: How the hell did you know that they were the police.
Mike: I read this novel in elementary school and it was the exact same thing.
Harvey: You read a novel? In elementary school?
Mike: What! I like to read.
Harvey: And why did you ask them what time it was?
Mike: Throw 'em off. I mean, what kind of drug dealer asks a cop what time it is when he's got a briefcase full of pot, right?

Donna: Rick Sorkin... Rick Sorkin... Rick Sorkin? Excuse me, Mr. Sorkin, you are five minutes late. Is there a reason why I should let you in?
Mike: Look, I'm just trying to ditch the cops, OK? I don't really care if you let me in or not.

Donna: Kit, what is wrong with you? You look like you're eleven years old.
Kit: I was late to puberty.

Harvey: Why don't we just hire the Harvard, summer associate douche.

Louis: I'm not saying that I haven't been charmed by Harvey, but it's just so patronizing when you say that he can handle those things and, Louis, you can only handle this. Jessica, I could've handled Gerald Tait.
Jessica: And I told you I disagree.
Louis: Why?
Jessica: Because... (Harvey interrupts)
Harvey: Because when you put two bullies in the same room together, things generally don't go so well.
Louis: It's 9:30. Nice for you to show up two hours after we open for business. And I see that you're also trying to look like a pimp.
Harvey: My bad, Louis. I was out late last night, and when I woke up this was the suit your wife picked out for me.
Louis: And that would be funny if I'd actually be married.
Jessica: Moving along.
Harvey: You're not married.

Mike's Grandmother: Michael, I'm not gonna be around forever and I want you to stop with that stuff.
Mike: What stuff?
Mike's Grandmother: I may be old, but I'm not an idiot. I know life has been hard for you, but you're not a kid anymore. And I want you to promise that you're gonna start living up to your potential.
Mike: I promise.

Mike: I hear someone's not taking their pills.
Mike's Grandmother: Because they're trying to poison me.
Mike: Grammy, that's crazy. Dr. Shrager gave me her word that she wouldn't poison you until January. If she does it before then, she can't count it towards next year's quota.

Jessica: How did you know Gerald wouldn't look at that memo ?
Harvey: Because a charging bull always looks at the red cape, not at the man with the sword.

Harvey: So I'd say the ball is in your court, but the truth is your balls are in my fist. Now I apologize if that image is too pansy for you, but I'm comfortable enough with my manhood to put it out there.