Wednesday 8:00 PM on ABCIn Season
I have a three year old child that is just totally out of control. I am not new to this whole ordeal of being a parent. I do have a ten year old daughter as well, but she was NOTHING like this one. I am a junior in college and my homework is very demanding of me. I try and take breaks and sit and play with her during the day. I will either play a video game with her or take her outside and let her run. My oldest is not around, through no fault of my own and something I just won't get into on here. So, I am the one having to deal with her literally 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. If her dad gives me a break, it is a miracle. He and I have not slept in the same bed in almost two years now. She sleeps with either me in bed or with her dad. And if she sleeps with her dad, it is because i have to be up all night long doing homework.
This is my normal routine. Monica and I wake up around noon to 1pm. She eats what she wants, for either lunch or breakfast, just depending on her mood. Around 6 or so I try and get her dinner. I am all the while busy tryin to get some a little bit of homework in between getting up chasing her, helping her do whatever, etc. etc. Around 7 or 8 I will try and give her a bath. Most nights I let her dad do it. Which can be late. I would love for her to go to bed around 8 pm, so I that I wouldn't have to be up till 5 am doing homework.
Moni bites, hits, spits throws things at me, will pinch or do whatever she wants in order to get her way. I don't like spanking, I try and do that as a last resort. I have tried the whole bed routine of putting her back into bed. I bought her all new things for her room, we made a big deal of it for Christmas, got her her own BIG GIRL room. PFFT, that lasted all of two weeks and she was right back into sleeping with me. It was the only way I was able to get sleep. I can't do the whole if you don't eat now your just not eating period. I feel that is abusive as ever and I can't in my mind let my baby girl go to bed without something in her tummy.
I am just at a LOSE. I am starting to hate my child. I cannot get any homework done. I have bad knees and a bad hip and I can't always run after her. I would love to do more with her than I do now and I try and sit and do things with her, but when I do it, she acts like a spoiled brat and I regret even trying.
ANYONE got any ideas? I AM DESPERATE.
|ANYONE got any ideas? I AM DESPERATE.|
You don't say how old you are, or when you go to school so I don't know how this will work for you but...
1) What are you doing getting up at noon or 1 pm to begin with??? Set a schedule (put it on the wall on posterboard in big letters if you need to!) i.e.
8:30 am (I'm a late riser) wake up, morning ablutions, etc.
9:00 am Breakfast - it's an important meal - make it oatmeal, fruit, milk, even peanut butter toast, leftovers from dinner, whatever. But you and your daughter both need a good protein and slow digesting carbs for breakfast.
9:30 cleanup breakfast stuff
10 - 11:30study time - sit at the kitchen table and do your college work and give your daughter picture books, coloring books, clay, whatever and have her do her "schoolwork" like mommy does
11-12:30 - . mommy daughter playtime - outside, active
12:30 - lunch - again a basic nutritious meal, grilled cheese, tuna, something like that
1:00 cleanup lunch stuff
1:30- 2:30 "quiet time" your daughter doesn't have to nap, but have her stay in her room, on her bed. she can play with a doll, look at books, even a movie if you want to allow that. you get study time
2:30-4:30 mommy daughter playtime - outside, active - or library or whatever
4:30-5:30 cleanup time - at 3 she's old enough to make a game of dusting, picking up toys, matching socks, books, whatever...
5:30 - let's make dinner together! again - she's old enough to help with things like make crumbs from crackers, mix something in a bowl,let her have a part in choosing what to eat (i.e peas or carrots, brownies or ice cream for dessert...)put silverware/napkins on the table
6-7:30, family dinner time - sit at the table, talk about what you did today, clean up dishes afterwards
7:30 tub time. no ifs and or buts. make sure there are bubbles
8 read books or tell stories with daddy or mommy or both
8:30pm bedtime for Moni. In her own bed. Insist on it. You can do it.
2) Kids thrive on rules. They want consistency. Yes, they will whine, moan, cry, and get cranky. Don't allow it. You are the parent; they are the child. Find a naughty spot and keep putting her there.
3) She will not starve if you put her to bed without eating. Really. I promise. Missing a meal because she is misbehaving does not make you an abusive parent.
4) She is 3. She is not a baby. Next year she will be 4 and the year after that 5 and in kindergarten.
5) You don't say when you go to school. Is there a daycare on the campus you can enroll her in? Church daycare? She needs to be with other children at this age, even just for a few hours 2-3 days a week. Maybe a gymnastics or ballet group
6) yeah, it can be rough trying to get her to sleep in her own bed. Remember, you are the parent. It's your house. Let her cry, shout, whatever. It will pass.