Sam: How'd you know where we are? Look, it's bad enough that you're tracking us, but it's even worse when you say we've been "garthed."
Sam: So, anything... missing from the body?
Sheriff Miller: You mean aside from the arms and legs?
Sheriff Miller: These kids today with their texting and murder.
Lance: I told them when they brought me in, those texts weren't from me.
Sam: Your phone and Ed's phone say otherwise.
Lance: No, I mean they were from me, they weren't from me me.
Dean: Did you really think that sentence was gonna clear things up?
Sam: "Welcome to Moondoor, Michigan's largest LARPing game."
Dean: And I thought we needed to get out more.
Sam: But the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs that he was killed by belladonna.
Dean and Charlie: The porn star?
Sam: The poison.
Dean and Charlie: Oh.
Dean: You always been into LARPing?
Charlie: Nah. For role-play, I prefer a table top. D&D, Gamma World, Car Wars. That's why Cthulhu invented multi-sided dice, right?
Dean: I'm noticing a lot of these maidens checking you out.
Charlie: What? I can't shut this down. It's good to be queen.
Charlie: Dudes. If the tent is rockin', don't come a-knockin'.
Gerry: Would a loser track down a real book of spells and compel a fairy to do his bidding?
Sam: Depends. How'd you get it?
Narrator: This episode is dedicated to the men, women, elves, demigods, magi, druids, and chamber pot servants who gave their lives fighting and winning for the Queen of Moons in the Battle of Kingdoms. Go bravely into the next world, fallen soldiers.
Music: China Grove (Doobie Brothers)
Canada: January 27, 2013 on SPACE
Australia: February 4, 2013 on Eleven
Norway: March 22, 2013 on FEM
Referencing the 2008 movie Lars and the Real Girl, in which a man has a relationship with a realistic silicone sex-doll as though it is a real, living woman.
Sam: Special Agent Taggart. This is my partner, Special Agent Rosewood.
Referencing the movie Beverly Hills Cop (1984) and its sequels. In the movie, the two Beverly Hills cops that Alex Foley befriends are John Taggart (John Ashton) and William Rosewood (Judge Reinhold).
Sam: Do you believe Dungeons & Dragons?
Referencing the best known of the tabletop role-playing games, first published in 1974 by TSR. The game lets players simulate fantasy archetypes like wizards, warriors, thieves, and clerics, using a variety of different-sided dice to resolve combat, spell-casting, and skill use. The game has gone through at least four iterations since its publication, spawned an industry of "RPGs," and been used as the source for several movies.
Warrior: I love you.
Charlie: I know.
Referencing the 1980 movie Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back. Leia says the same first line to Han as he prepares to undergo carbonite freezing. Han responds with the same words as Charlie.
Dean: This could be "Fifty Shades of Greyfox" for all we know.
Referencing the 2011 erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James, the first in a trilogy of books. It features explicit scenes involving bondage and sadism, thus Dean's comment's when he sees the whip.
Charlie: Have fun storming the castle.
Referencing the same line from the 1987 movie The Princess Bride. Billy Crystal's character Miracle Max calls it to Inigo Montoya and Fezzik as they go off to storm the castle of Prince Humperdink and prevent his marriage to Princess Buttercp.
Charlie: It's good to be queen.
Referencing the 1981 comedy History of the World, Part 1. Louix XVI (Mel Brooks), says "It's good to be the king" three times, addressing the audience directly each time. Variations of it later appears in Brooks' productions Spaceballs, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and the Broadway version of The Producers.
Dean: And dying in your beds many days from now, would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance...
Referencing the 1995 movie Braveheart, chronicling the life of William Wallace and the Scot's fight for independence against the English starting in 1280. Dean quotes Wallace's primary speech to his troops on the eve of battle.
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