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Was Regina THAT wrong?

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    MadameTamma

    [1]Jul 25, 2011
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    I can totally see why everybody would be mad at her for keeping that big secret about knowing but I kinda see where she was coming from. The kennishes would have definitely taken daphne away, and she knew Bay was in a place where she was being well taken care of. I'd even go so far as to say I would have done the same thing in her position but I'm a strong believer in nurture over nature and I agree with what she was telling daphne that the strongest familial bonds are the ones we make through knowing and loving each other more so than by blood.


    I'm not saying that what she did is easily forgivable. I'm saying that there is two sides to this story and her case is a good one.

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    ladycatherine

    [2]Jul 25, 2011
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    I think (other then it being for the show) they are looking at it from their own points of view.. NOT from her's... like she said, out of work drunk mom.. she was in fear of what would happen. her husband leaves and she knows the little girl she is raising is not bio her's.. I would have done (or not done) the same thing.

    the rest of them are looking at it from their own points of view.. although i doubt any of them would have done it any different then she did.. I don't see catherine running to give up or 'exchange' daughters had she found out that bay wasn't her's.
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    Jemadari

    [3]Jul 25, 2011
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    I'm with Regina all day here and I really thought Daphne would see things the same way, when Bay asked Daphne about her father and she made it clear she knew everything she needed to know about him,that being he wasn't there when he was needed, I thought she would take a similar approach with her mother

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    RomanZolanski

    [4]Jul 25, 2011
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    Regina wasn't wrong AT ALL. I could rant paragraphs and paragraphs about how everyone shouldn't give her all this sh*t, but it's too late at night to rant.

    But yeah, she doesn't deserve what's being given to her, and she's a mother, a mother who cared for Daphne in the best way she can, and no one understands what she's going through.

    Daphne got me so mad, because I was expecting her to understand in the end.
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    Jazyflower21

    [5]Jul 26, 2011
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    I agree 100%. I can relate to Regina and I felt really bad for her in the episode. Its clear she did what she did out of love and out of wanting to keep the only daughter she knew. And it speaks volumes that she hired a PI to make sure her birth daughter was alright. Bey's parents responded without empathy. Its such a shame. I can understand why Bey was sad, but no one else should be treating Regina the way they did. Daphne can be upset, but I think she should be happy that her mother loved her that much, even if she KNEW she was not her birth mother. I feel like everyone just turned there backs on her when she is the one who was doing what she thought was right. im definitely team regina here. Not to say it was RIGHT what she did... but theres blurry lines in this very unordinary situation. I cant say I would have done something different.

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    yvonneslair

    [6]Jul 26, 2011
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    I understand why they're upset but I don't blame Regina at all for what she did as none of it was based on any malicious reasons, and I feel that Daphne is being so ungrateful by the way she's treating her, she's acting like she never wanted to be with Regina when all she's ever been to her was her mother. Also, Bay acts like she never had a life just because Regina chose to let her stay with the only parents she had ever known and who had raised and loved her. And don't even get me started on the Kennish's, John in particular after this episode the only people I still properly like are Regina, Emmett and Toby.

    Edited on 07/26/2011 6:08am
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    mustangfan8

    [7]Jul 26, 2011
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    I'm on Team Regina! I supported all her reasons why she kept the switch a secret.... The Kennishs are a self-centered family! Even if I like Lea Thompson but i didnt like her in this episode!

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    titan4lizife

    [8]Jul 26, 2011
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    I was thinking the same thing after I watch last night's episode, yea Regina made a blunder by not telling the truth but let's take a second to see where she was coming from. She was a recovering alcoholic, her husband/boyfriend had just left, things were a little blurry for her at the time but the fact that Daphne was all she had left was crystal clear and she tried to hold on to that. The lying was wrong, the withholding the truth is perfectly acceptable.
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    KJLwriter

    [9]Jul 26, 2011
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    I can understand why she kept Daphne. It was her kid. She raised her as a baby. She taught her how to walk and talk. Daphne was her baby. John and Katherine would've taken her away from Regina. I am wondering if they are going to take her away now! John said he would get custody of Daphne. I am wondering if that is really going to happen. I don't really understand why Daphne is so mad at her mom. She did what was best for her. Daphne seemed to live a really good life. She knows her mom loved her. I think she would have lived better with Regina than with John and Katherine. I mean, I wouldn't like growing up in that house. I just...can't wait until the finale!
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    dna77054

    [10]Jul 26, 2011
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    Was she THAT wrong? I don't know. She was put in a position that nobody can even begin to imagine.


    Two plot points bother me with this episode.


    1. Why should Regina's actions three years after the fact have any effect on the lawsuit by the McKinneshs? The hospital still screwed up.


    2. Daphne gets drunk and stays the night at her friends house, so as not to get in trouble with her mother for drinking. Next morning she heads off for school. What kind of mother does not either notice or care that her teen-age daughter stayed out all night? Gaping plot hole.



    As an aside, I would enjoy seeing some discussions among all concerned about both Bay's and Daphne's childhoods and upbringing. They show no real interest in learning about the past and what their lives would have been like beyond the superficial trappings of economic circumstance.

    Edited on 07/26/2011 3:14pm
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    iluvethecamdens

    [11]Jul 26, 2011
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    She probably told Regina she was staying over at Emmett's, we aren't told whether she did or not but it would make sense to call and tell her mom everything except the drinking part

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    Mr_Angelus

    [12]Jul 26, 2011
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    Team Regina!
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    dna77054

    [13]Jul 26, 2011
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    iluvethecamdens wrote:


    She probably told Regina she was staying over at Emmett's, we aren't told whether she did or not but it would make sense to call and tell her mom everything except the drinking part



    Perhaps, but that call would have been their first communication since Daphne confronted Regina that morning. That interaction, had it happened, should have been shown to the audience.


    Also do any of those schools take attendance? Daphne skipped school in this episode and Bay has done so in previous episodes. I really like the premise of this show, but they need to stay of top of stuff like this.

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    Jemadari

    [14]Jul 27, 2011
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    Daphne isn't actually a student there, she only audits the one class

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    LeytonTLA

    [15]Jul 27, 2011
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    just quick response to someones post up there , the reason it would affect the law suit is because the kenneshes claim they have only just found out and want to sue for money but because regina knew 12 years ago in their eyes they are basically saying she has told you and now lets get some money its been a really long time no one is really gonna question it and we missed out on 15 years of our kids lives whereas if it was 12 years ago and they tried to sue yes they would of got a lot of money but no where near as much because it wouldnt have been so bad if that makes sense ... also melody probably text regina saying daphne was staying round hers and it was probably left at that due to the arguments

    ok onto my thoughts ... i cried my eyes out through this episode ... i felt so bad for everyone , i can see why everyone is mad and upset and i hope it doesnt take long for people to understand why regina did what she did .. only thing i might have said was she probably should of told the truth about what she knew about the switch when everyone else found out just cos then she could of got her point across alot easier i think .. maybe, im gonna break it down into people and what i think ...

    Daphne - she is probably really upset that she never got to know her real family just because its a natural reaction to think about everything that could of been, of course she will be thinking about the money even if she denied it to the ground but she will always know she could of had alot more money had regina let them be,i tink she will be the first to get over it as she seems to be the most rational one

    Bay - She probably feels like she because she has felt out of place her whole life with her parents especially she probably feels if regina had just let everyone know about the switch she never would of had to grow up feeling so lonely ... not being chosen by regina is a really stupid thing to say like regina said she didnt want to rip her from the only family she knew, she looked out for her made sure she was being treated well and i hope bay turns around and says thanks in the end because her life has been amazing in comparison

    kathryn - obviously feeling cheated out of not having her biological daughter and saying she wouldnt of tried to switch them back she says that now but she may not have felt that at the time and i think it wont be long till she realises regina couldnt take that risk and realises she may have done the same thing, i can see why she is so upset especially having become friends with regina for this lie to have been there the whole time

    John- i think he is just confused about the whole situation to be honest, no offence to any men who watch this show but i doubt he will ever truly be able to understand reginas decision because he is a man , i think he wants daphne and he wants bay and now he feels like he doesnt have to share because regina has done wrong by not telling them ... i can see why he would be a bit worried though, like he said he doesnt know anythng about regina or her family or what shes been doing for the past 15 years i can see why he might be a little worried

    regina - i feel so bad for her this life changing news was handed to her when she was so down in the gutter and i think she would of done what any parent would of done, like she said daphne was her daughter by now , a week a month half a year maybe a year the switch back could of been doable .. thinkin about my 15 month old son now and thinkin oh my god if i had to give him up for another baby i just dont think i could do it i would love the biological baby of course but your baby is yours no matter whose blood they have and the decision must of been crushing to not just go and get bay but how could she risk daphne , obviously if bay was having a bad life im sure she would of come forward and got both girls but i think with the life she had and the choices she had she she had to do what she had to do ... its so sad but the only thing i think she could of done better was to tell the truth about what she knew when the whole thing came out anyways doubt most people will read but i had to rant
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    PhantomFreak13

    [16]Jul 28, 2011
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    Regina was absolutely NOT wrong. She did what she had to do, and what she had to do was right.


    By the time you're three, your family is your family. Even though Daphne wasn't biologically Regina's, she was still Regina's daughter. Like she said, she held her hand, she tucked her in every night; Daphne was her daughter.


    Could you imagine if the Kennishes and Regina had tried to switch the girls back then? How is a three year old supposed to understand that type of situation? if they switched the girls back, Bay would be thinking, "Mommy and Daddy don't want me, they're giving me to this other woman." And Daphne? She'd feel like her mom didn't love her anymore because she can't hear. The girls would be torn away from the only family they knew.


    That said, I understand why everyone's upset. Daphne isn't upset that her mom knew. She's upset that her mom lied. Bay's upset because she feels like Regina chose Daphne over her, but still had a PI stalk her. John...yeah, I don't even know. He annoys the crap out of me sometimes. I hate that he's acting like a douche because of this. I mean, when he said "We don't know what this woman's capable of" I was like, seriously? She lies about not knowing about the switch, and suddenly she's a psychopath? How the hell do you even arrive at that kind of conclusion?


    I think Kathryn will come to understand Regina's actions within an episode or two. It looked like she sort of started to at the end.

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    alirk

    [17]Jul 31, 2011
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    I'm really still on the fence about what Regina did. I can see both points of view

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    FACSHCTV

    [19]Aug 13, 2011
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    YES, Regina WAS THAT WRONG. I totally disagree with her decision NOT to say anything from the very moment she found out! Any mother knows you will move mountains, and much more than that, to be with your child! Regina already considered Daphne her child, but SO WAS BAY always and forever, even though she hadn't raised her up until then...and that was involuntary. (And Bay was her blood!) So there is no excuse for her not doing whatever it took, whatever the consequences, to find and be close to Bay...and that means more than just hiring a P.I. to check up on her. A real mother could not have resisted trying to right this wrong and bring the child she gave birth to, and never wanted to part with, into her life...whatever the cost. Courts normally favor the birth mother, except in very extreme situations; so just because she wasn't perfect or rich wouldn't have automatically meant she couldn't keep her child, or a child. And while Regina's desire to keep Daphne in her life is totally understandable, it was extremely selfish to tell no one considering she found out the child truly belonged to another family. Plus, it just makes no sense that her desire to keep Daphne superseded her desire to get to Bay, to bring Bay into her life, to raise her own child, to have her as a constant presence in her life. I could see those two things being equal, perhaps, but keeping Daphne as completely overriding her will to get to know her birth child? (No wonder Bay was offended!) I just don't buy it. There would have always been options for joint custody at that point, given the ages of the girls. They could have started out with brief visitations and moved up from there. Not a perfect situation, but an accident happened and they just would have had to make the best of it. Better than dealing with all the crap that came out all these years later...all the pain and resentment and grief...all that time lost. It just wasn't OK that Regina kept this crucial information...totally inexcusable. (But it does make for a pretty interesting plot line!)

    Edited on 08/14/2011 4:21pm
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    whenIpray2U

    [20]Aug 28, 2011
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    I think the main reason why everyone is upset is because Regina LIED. And it wasn't just a one-time fib. It was an ongoing, life-changing, mind-blowing deception! In John and Kathryn's case, how can you trust someone who has lied to you from the get-go? With Daphne's case, how betrayed would you feel if your mother whom you've been close to your whole life turned out to be holding this huge of a secret/lie all this time? And as for Bay, not only is she offended by the lie, she's offended because she feels Regina never wanted her in the first place--which, of course, isn't true, but I can see how she would think that.

    So, in my opinion, her decision may or may not have been the best decision; but her LIES were definitely wrong.
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