Tales from the Crypt (1996)

Season 7 Episode 12

Ear Today... Gone Tomorrow

Aired Unknown Jul 12, 1996 on HBO



  • Trivia

    • Crypt Keeper Wardrobe: In the opening and closing wraparound segments, the Crypt Keeper is dressed as a Slay Mart sales clerk.

  • Quotes

    • The Crypt Keeper: (closing wraparound segment) Poor Glynn, I hope his Boo Cross policy is in force. Sounded to me he got in his screamium just in time. (laughs and talks to customer) So, how will you be paying today? (customer passes Slay Mart charge card to Crypt Keeper and he puts it through the machine and gets electrocuted and laughs) Now that's a charge card! Whooo!!!

    • (Opening wraparound segment with the Crypt Keeper dressed as a Slay Mart sales clerk, initially talking to a female skeleton)
      The Crypt Keeper: Look, lady, I'm sorry the product made your skin fall off but we never do hackschanges on sale merchandise! Next! (pokes skeleton and it falls over) Some people. Maybe at Doomingdales, The ghostumer is always fright, but not here! (announces on P.A.) "Attention all Slay Mart choppers, interested in tonights's boo-light special?"(ends P.A. announcement) It concerns a couple of crooks who are about to learn the benefits of dying wholesale. I call this bit of gash-and-carry, "Ear Today... Gone Tomorrow".

    • Glynn: I warned you, pussycat. Smoking kills. (shoots Kate)
      Kate: (falls) Damn. Malcolm was right about you. You'll always be a bad bet. (coughs up hairball and dies)
      Glynn: Oh, dear, that is disgusting. You know, one thing I hate worse than smoking is fur balls. People have got some filthy habits.

    • Glynn: You do a lot of these operations then, Doc?
      Doctor: Not as many as I'd like to, I'm afraid. The procedure is fairly new. Therefore, the operation is extremely expensive. But, fortunately for you, you have a wealthy benefactor.
      Glynn: You can say that again. She's quite a nice little benefactor, she....

    • Kate: I clearly don't understand you, Mr. Fennell. You will bet every pound you own on a long shot in hopes of hitting it big. But you will not take a slight gamble in following me to my room. Why is that?
      Glynn: I guess I'm interested in only one thing, lady. The big score.

    • Malcolm: He's business.
      Kate: And you never mix business with pleasure, am I right?
      Malcolm: That is my rule.
      Kate: Then how do you explain me?
      Malcolm: You, my love, are my hobby. A very expensive one.

    • Malcolm: Glynn Fennell, my wife, Kate. If she speaks of obsession with some authority, it is because she is an expert. Her beauty is not so much a tribute to the hand of God as to the meticulous craftsmanship of some of this country's finest plastic surgeons.
      Kate: Malcolm, you gave away my secret. I'm hurt.
      Malcolm: Impossible. I thought we paid to have your feelings removed, along with certain rather unsightly wrinkles, of course.

    • Malcolm: The way I see it, every man has a skill I can trade for. In your case, I was told you have a certain expertise that could be very useful to me. One that could help you pay off your debt.
      Glynn: I know, Mr. Lawson. It's just that I've run up against a bit of a losing streak,....again. But, I've got a tip on a horse...
      Malcolm: Tips are for waiters and cabbies. A betting man should never accept one. You know that.

    • Malcolm: My bookies are very worried about you, Glynn. So much so that they brought your rather large debt to my attention this time. Now, I ask you. Do I look like the type of man who's built an empire on flogging drunks and gamblers?
      Glynn: (tied to pool table, looks up at Malcolm, says nothing, Malcolm tells Henry to hit him with the pool cue) No. No. No, no, sir.
      Malcolm: That's right. I'm not. I'm a barterer.

    • Glynn: What have you done to me?
      Malcolm: Done to you? My goodness, it's what you've done for me that's exciting.
      Glynn: Yeah, but what have I done to deserve this?
      Malcolm: You've been the perfect host. I knew you were a sure thing the moment I laid eyes on you.
      Doctor: I explained the whole thing to you in my office, dear boy. These experiments are tricky stuff, sometimes we have to move slowly up the evolutionary scale to make them stick. Something as intricate as the human ear, you can't just expect to jump from animals to human. Sometimes you have to start somewhere in between.
      Kate: And that's where boys like you and Henry come in.
      Glynn: Henry? What? Henry's dead?
      Kate: Sure, you don't think these eyes grow on trees do you? [laughs] I let Henry have them for awhile then he lost his head, with the help of the good doctor here.
      Malcolm: Why settle for mere cosmetic surgery when you can sample all mother nature.
      Kate: Being beautiful is one thing, but in our business, having a few extra lives can come in handy.

  • Notes

    • EC Comic Connection: Story adapted from "Bats In My Belfry"! from Tales From The Crypt #24, June-July 1951. Story by William M. Gaines and Al Feldstein with art by Jack Davis. The Story was retitled perhaps because of a minor story change involving the main character in the filmed version receiving the auditory system of an owl and not a bat as was done in the comic story.

      The title, "Ear Today...Gone Tomorrow" is taken from Haunt Of Fear #11, Jan-Feb 1952. Script by Al Feldstein with art by Jack Davis. This story is totally different in many aspects and just the title is used for this episode.

  • Allusions

    • [Spoiler warning]
      "Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone"

      Season one episode of Tales from the Crypt in which a cat's gland is inplanted into the brain of a homeless man giving him nine lives.

      In this episode, Kate seems to have undergone this same or a similar procedure. After she's shot dead by Glynn, she recovers and tells him she has as many lives as a cat.

    • Blue Cross

      The Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association, aka "Blue Cross", is a group of 39 separate Blue Cross and Blue Shield Health Insurance companies from across the United States. Through it, at least 97 Million Americans receive health care. There is also a Canadian Association of Blue Cross Plans that is totally independent of the Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association and is made up of health insurance companies in the Canadian Provinces.

      In this episode, during the closing wraparound, the Crypt Keeper mentions that he hopes Glynn's "Boo Cross policy is in force", a rewording on the health care company.

    • Bloomingdale's

      Department store chained owned by Macy's Inc., parent company of the store of the same name. Their stores are known for catering to the slightly upscale members of their clientele and have become particularly popular through their flagship store in New York City. The chain is currently expanding into new markets in America including California.

      In this episode, during the opening and closing wraparound segments, the Crypt Keeper mentions that the "ghostumer" may be always right at "Doomingdale's", a reference to the store.

    • K-Mart

      K-Mart is a department store chain originally opened in Michigan and expanded throughout America, Guam, Puerto Rico, and the US Virgin Islands. It is famous for its "blue light specials", carts or displays marked by flashing blue lights to indicate sudden specials and deals. Unfortunately, the company buckled under competion from Wal-Mart and Target and filed for bankruptcy. They would close numerous stores and layoff thousands of employees as a result. In 2004, it purchased the Sears Roebuck Company and took their name, with their overall company becoming the Sears Holding Corporation. The K-Mart banner includes K-Mart, Big K-mart and Super K-Mart, as well as stores not affiliated with them that were sold off in the seventies in Australia and New Zealand. Canadian stores once existed but were bought by Canadian competitor Zellers in 1998. Other companies once owned by K-Mart that were sold off over its existence include: The Sports Authority, Borders, Waldenbooks, and OfficeMax.

      In this episode, during the opening and closing wraparound segments, the Crypt Keeper is working at Slay Mart, a takeoff noticeable from the rhyming name and the mention of "boo-light specials".