Tales from the Crypt (1996)

Season 4 Episode 1

None but the Lonely Heart

Aired Unknown Jun 27, 1992 on HBO
out of 10
User Rating
80 votes

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Episode Summary

A scheming con man marries wealthy elderly women to collect the insurance benefits but soon finds out their love for him will never die.

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  • Howard is a con artist who has a talent for marrying rich, old widows and eventually killing them to inherit their money. He soon learns that before they die they've fallen in love with him; he also learns they can't live without him or die without him!moreless

    Howard (Treat Williams) is a clever con-man who is in the business of sweeping rich, old widows off their feet and then marrying them. After he marries them, he kills them, so he can inherit their fortunes. Howard then starts receiving strange letters from an anonymous person saying he or she knows what he is up to. At first, he thinks it is the video dating service man (Tom Hanks) and kills him too. After he murders the last old lady and prepares to conclude his recent work by leaving the country to enjoy his fortune, he receives another letter before he goes off to the airport. It turns out it is the gravedigger who has been burying the old ladies, and he wants a piece of the action as well; however, Howard doesn't want to include him in his schemes and would rather kill him, so he does. Suddenly, all the old ladies who he has killed in the past start coming out of their tombs. Howard is dragged down with them, and he soon learns they cannot live without him, and they definitely will not die without him!moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (4)

  • QUOTES (1)

    • [Opening wraparound segment with a skeleton playing a violin]
      The Crypt Keeper: Damn you Morciel, I told you they wanted violence, not violins. [hits skeleton] Good help is so hard to fiend, isn't it, kiddies? Want a little more cham-pain? [laughs] I hope you're hungry for tonight's murderous menu. It concerns a man who's discovered that the fastest way to a woman's heart is with a pickaxe. I call this tasty little horder, "None but the Lonely Heart."

      [Closing Wraparound segment.]
      The Crypt Keeper: Now that's what I call a happy ending. I had a feeling Ephie would win Howard's heart. Not to mention his spleen, his kidneys, and his gall bladder! [laughs; turns to skeleton date] So, will there be anything else? [skeleton's head falls off] Mmm...I love a ghoul who gives you head...and then lets you keep it! [laughs]

  • NOTES (4)