Tales from the Crypt

None but the Lonely Heart

Season 4, Episode 1, Aired 6/27/92

Episode Summary

A scheming con man marries wealthy elderly women to collect the insurance benefits but soon finds out their love for him will never die.

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Cast & Crew

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John Kassir

voice of The Crypt Keeper
Frances Sternhagen

Ephie Gluckman
Henry Gibson

Stanhope

Fan Episode Reviews (1)

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Howard is a con artist who has a talent for marrying rich, old widows and eventually killing them to inherit their money. He soon learns that before they die they've fallen in love with him; he also learns they can't live without him or die without him!moreless

7.5

"Good"

By tricdadec, Nov 12, 2011 Report Abuse

Howard (Treat Williams) is a clever con-man who is in the business of sweeping rich, old widows off their feet and then marrying them. After he marries them, he kills them, so he can inherit their fortunes. Howard then starts receiving strange letters from an anonymous person saying he or she knows what he is up to. At first, he thinks it is the video dating service man (Tom Hanks) and kills him too. After he murders the last old lady and prepares to conclude his recent work by leaving the country to enjoy his fortune, he receives another letter before he goes off to the airport. It turns out it is the gravedigger who has been burying the old ladies, and he wants a piece of the action as well; however, Howard doesn't want to include him in his schemes and would rather kill him, so he does. Suddenly, all the old ladies who he has killed in the past start coming out of their tombs. Howard is dragged down with them, and he soon learns they cannot live without him, and they definitely will not die without him!moreless

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Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

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Trivia
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- Goof: In the transition when the wind blows the black arm band along the ground, you can briefly see a hand throw it onscreen. Edit
- Crypt Keeper Wardrobe: In the opening and closing wraparound segments the Crypt Keeper is dressed as a waiter in a fancy restaurant. Edit
- Sugar Ray Leonard receives the "and" credit. Edit
Notes
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- Sugar Ray Leonard was a former middleweight and super middleweight boxing champion in the 1980's. Edit
- Donald Longtooth, the name of the main character in the episode, "The Reluctant Vampire", is also the name of the writer of this episode, and "Beauty Rest". This appears to be a pseudonym of one of the writers of the series, as he has no other later writing credits and it seems like an obvious homage. Edit
- EC Comic Connection: Story adapted from Tales From the Crypt #33, Dec 1952-Jan 1953. Story by Al Feldstein with art by Graham Ingels. Edit
Quotes
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- [Opening wraparound segment with a skeleton playing a violin]
  The Crypt Keeper: Damn you Morciel, I told you they wanted violence, not violins. [hits skeleton] Good help is so hard to fiend, isn't it, kiddies? Want a little more cham-pain? [laughs] I hope you're hungry for tonight's murderous menu. It concerns a man who's discovered that the fastest way to a woman's heart is with a pickaxe. I call this tasty little horder, "None but the Lonely Heart." [Closing Wraparound segment.]
  The Crypt Keeper: Now that's what I call a happy ending. I had a feeling Ephie would win Howard's heart. Not to mention his spleen, his kidneys, and his gall bladder! [laughs; turns to skeleton date] So, will there be anything else? [skeleton's head falls off] Mmm...I love a ghoul who gives you head...and then lets you keep it! [laughs] Edit
Allusions
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- To His Coy Mistress In this episode, Howard says verses of the famous poem to Matilda, during their dinner. Edit