Tales from the Crypt (1996)

Season 6 Episode 9

Staired in Horror

3
Aired Unknown Dec 14, 1994 on HBO
7.9
out of 10
User Rating
65 votes
3

EPISODE REVIEWS
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Episode Summary

EDIT
A man on the run finds refuge in a house owned by a woman who years earlier, had a curse put on her and her stairwell.

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SUBMIT REVIEW
  • This nasty nugget is about a fugitive getting into an old woman's home, where the stairs are filled with a curse. I call it "Staired In Horror!"

    9.0
    Ok, a fugitive named Clyde is on the loose, and the only hiding he can get is an old woman named Lily's close-by home. Clyde can not stand old people like Lily, and says he would rather kill himself than be old and useless like Lily. Then, Clyde notices a young Lily come down from her room. Lily then tells him about the cursed stairs. Back in the day, a man came over for shelter, and he was soon dying. He cursed the stairs, so that no other man will ever come up. So if Lily goes up she is younger, and when a stranger comes up, he or she is older. The police is looking to see where Clyde is, so he goes all the way upstairs, so no one could see him. When Lily goes up to save him, it is too late, because she has turned back to when she was an infant. It was a good episode overall, striking some similarities to Season 4's The New Arrival. It wasn't that scary. It was similar to a Twilight Zone episode than a TFTC episode, though I still enjoyed it.moreless
  • Clyde is an escaped convict who is running from the law. He goes into an old manison and discover an old lady living there. Then, one night discovers a young, pretty lady living there. He begins to like her, but he soons discovers this house has rules!moreless

    10
    Clyde is an escaped convict on the run from the law. He is being chased by the sheriff (R. Lee Ermey). An old lady lets him hold up in her old manison until the police go away. One night, Clyde sees a beautiful young woman named Lily standing in the middle of the stairway. He takes an instant liking to her; however, he soons discovers it's the same old lady. Years ago, her husband had caught her cheating on him. He cursed her so that she could only be young upstairs, and any man who came upstairs would turn old, but if she went downstairs, she would be old again so that no man would want her. The only way they can both be young is to stay at the middle of the stairs. But the law returns, and she informs him to go upstairs because no one is looking for "an older man." Clyde stands at the top of the stairs as he has become an old man. Fearing the cops will catch him anyway, he begins ascending to the attic. Lily goes up looking for him. Clyde is in the attic and has grown so old he is too weak to get up, and Lily is nothing more than an infant who does nothing but crawl.moreless
  • Has R. Lee Ermey ever played anyone besides an authority figure?

    7.5
    This was a very clever if somewhat slow moving episode, however, it features a very funny twist ending.

    D.B. Sweeney who I always liked since the Cutting Edge and Fire in the Sky plays an on the run murderer who happens to escape into an old house which has a curse on it\\\\\\\'s female occupant. Any young man who goes up the stairs to make love to her becomes old, and if the lady comes down the stairs she becomes old. This is very clever and does lead up to a very cute ending but I found it a bit slow moving. All things are somewhat explained though, which is something a few Crypts lacked. Also starring in this episode is R. Lee Ermey, playing a sheriff. Wow, that\\\\\\\'s a character stretch for him, lol, has he ever played anything besides authority figures like sheriff\\\\\\\'s or marine drill instructors, I\\\\\\\'m sure he may have but he\\\\\\\'s best known for those roles and certainly typecasted.

    The slow pacing aside, I did enjoy this one, it\\\\\\\'s well acted and as I said, the ending is funny and the premise and plot is pretty good.

    It gets a solid 7.5 from me.moreless
D.B. Sweeney

D.B. Sweeney

Clyde Boudreau

Guest Star

R. Lee Ermey

R. Lee Ermey

Sheriff

Guest Star

Rachel Ticotin

Rachel Ticotin

Lilian "Lily" Charbonnet

Guest Star

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions

FILTER BY TYPE

  • TRIVIA (2)

  • QUOTES (3)

    • Charbonnet: You know Clyde, everybody gets old. It's just the way it is.
      Clyde: Not me. I'd put a bullet in my brain before I get old and useless like you.

    • Charbonnet: I'll just tell them you're my husband.
      Clyde: How bout just not letting them in ?
      Charbonnet: All right...

    • [Opening wraparound segment with the Crypt Keeper as a beatnik.]
      The Crypt Keeper : Hey cats. I call this one Painted into a Coroner Blues.
      When I think of you, my heart goes flopsy,
      As I contemplate your sweet autopsy.
      Your skin is green and blue...whateva
      Would I do without my fine cadaver.
      The love in which I know I'll fall
      Starts with the unkindest cut of all.
      [light applause from skeleton crowd] Thank you, thank you. They don't call me the creative writing corpse for nothing. Thank you. My next poem is a little ex-stair-imental number I've been working on. I hope you like it. It's about a real ghoul dude named Clyde, whose about to try a little die-ku of his own in a vile verse I call 'Staired in Horror".[laughs]

      [Closing wraparound segment with the Crypt Keeper as a beatnik.]
      The Crypt Keeper: Poor Clyde. I guess that's one 12-step program he could've done without. Still, you'll be happy to know,kiddies, that our story has a happy ending. Clyde did manage after a couple of years to crawl a little way down the stairs where he waited for Lily while she gruesome. [laughs] You know what they say, Age before booty! My next poem features a rhyming scream I think you'll find interesting.
      Heckler: Hey, why don't you sit down?
      The Crypt Keeper: [picks up hammer] uh...Excuse me folks. [throws hammer and knocks down skeleton heckler] Now that's what I call beat poetry! [laughs]

  • NOTES (3)

  • ALLUSIONS (1)

    • Circle K

      Convenience stores usually found in the southern, western, southwestern, and midwestern parts of the United States. They are the second largest convenience store chain behind 7-11. In this episode, the town Sheriff is leading a posse to find the escaped Clyde and ends up checking the home of Charbonnet and mentions to her that "Earlier today he (Clyde) beat up and robbed old Chappie Hardy down at the Circle K".

      It's fitting that Hardy was beaten up and robbed there because the story, from setting and accent, is supposed to take place in Louisiana/bayou country in the Southeast, where Circle K's can be found.

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