Tales from the Crypt (1996)

Season 7 Episode 7

The Kidnapper

Aired Unknown Jun 07, 1996 on HBO
out of 10
User Rating
68 votes

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Episode Summary

A young man takes in a pregnant woman and falls in love with her but becomes jealous when her child is born so he sets out to get rid of the kid forever.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (3)

    • QUOTES (9)

      • Danny: Teresa?
        Teresa: Shhh Danny....can't you see he's asleep? Mummy's little baby was hiding in the rubbish behind the flat, weren't you? Yes, you were but I found you. [Teresa shown to be holding a burned, dented, dirty, discarded doll]
        Danny: No....NO!!!!

      • Domestic Placement Services Worker: Do you have any idea what a white newborn baby is worth?

      • Detective: [to Danny] For what its worth, I've got three of my own. If I ever caught someone looking funny at one of them, I'd kill the b*stard faster than he could scream police brutality.

      • [Two mimes performing a juggling act]
        Female Mime: Stop it, Bernard....Don't throw it so high, you're ruining my pacing!
        Bernard: I warned you, but you had to go ahead and do it anyway, didn't you? [female mime walks away in a huff, male mime chases after] I always end my act with it. It's my piece de resistance, but you, you just couldn't leave well enough alone.
        Female Mime: Oh, you're jealous!
        Bernard: [acts this out as he speaks] The box, within the box, within the box has always been my illusion! MINE!
        Female Mime: Not anymore! I do it BETTER![shoves male mime and storms away]
        Bernard: You stuck-up b*tch! Turn around! Don't criticize me! [mimes knocking her down, starts beating on her]
        Teresa: [Comes from around the bush] Stop it, you b*stard, or I'll call the police!
        [both mimes look at each other, help each other up, silently bow, and run off laughing]

      • Danny: [in voiceover, while throwing a plate and ripping laundry off the line] That baby, Mr. Needy, was draining the life out of her. He always had to be the center of attention. It just wasn't healthy.

      • Danny: Maybe he wouldn't be crying all the time if he didn't have that bloody, great stupid birthmark on his arse!
        Teresa: F*ck you!

      • Danny: And he just went splat! [both laugh]
        Teresa: That never happened. You're making it up. No one's daft enough to dry a wet hamster in a microwave oven.
        Danny: It happened to a friend of a sister of one of my customers....It's true I swear it!

      • Danny: [in voiceover] It's funny the effects a baby can have on people. Not "ha-ha" funny, but funny. One time, the vicar at my church said that children are God's opinion that the world should go on. I don't know if I agree with him or not. I guess, deep down, I always thought he stole that off a T-shirt. Still, it's funny the effects a child can have.

      • [Opening wraparound segment with The Crypt Keeper as a tennis player.]
        Referee: OUT!
        The Crypt Keeper: What? Are you BLIND? That ball was on the line, pal! Oh, hello kiddies! I was just warming up for the WImbletomb Tennis Tournament. Normally I love a bit of stiff competition, but this guy is driving me nuts! Still, the match isn't over yet. We're playing beast two out of three. [laughs] Which brings to mind the man in tonight's tale. He's about to play a little die-breaker of his own in a sickening hacks-hibition I call "Kidnapper".

        [Closing wraparound segment with The Crypt Keeper as a tennis player.]
        The Crypt Keeper: Poor Daniel. I bet he never thought he'd get such a kick from falling in love. At least in the end, he did the writhe thing. [laughs] As for me, kiddies, I've got to get back to my game. I've been on quite a winning shriek.[serves, knocks off head of skeleton opponent] Now that's what I call a service break! [laughs]

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • Poodle in a Microwave Oven

        The story of the poodle being dried by its owner in a microwave oven is a famous urban legend standard that is always supposed to have happened to a friend of a friend. In it, a doting dog owner takes his dog to be groomed and decides after getting home to dry the still wet pooch off in the microwave thinking it will be fast. Instead, the owner ends up killing the dog in a rather gruesome fashion.

        In this episode, While having dinner with Teresa, Danny tells her a story that ends with Teresa mentioning that the story couldn't happen because "no one's daft enough to dry a wet hamster in a microwave oven", a clear takeoff on the "poodle in microwave" urban legend.

      • Wimbledon

        AKA The Championships, is a tennis tournament that takes place annually at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club. It is the oldest of the grand slam events, the others being the US Open, the Australian Open, and the French Open.

        In this episode, during the opening wraparound segment, The Crypt Keeper says he is training for Wimbletomb, a rewording on the famous tournament.