Tales from the Crypt (1996)

Season 1 Episode 1

The Man Who Was Death

Aired Unknown Jun 10, 1989 on HBO



  • Quotes

    • Niles Talbot: [Breaking the fourth wall] I never had no problem with women. If I wanted one, I just went out and got her. Easy Peasy, Japanesey.
      Niles Talbot: [Addressing a bartender] Give me a beer, honey.
      Niles Talbot: [Breaking the fourth wall] They just want you to love them, is all. That's all they ever want. They get that from their mamas, from all the trashy magazines they read. It's easy to be successful with dames. Just don't fall in love and you're okay. You give them what they want, you fall in love, they'll kill ya. They can't stand you no more, they either dump you and move on or if they let you hang around, they'll cut your b*lls off. Weird, ain't it? Now, as far as strategies for getting into their panties, that's easy too. The old rule, you treat wh*res like queens and queens like wh*res, you got no problem. They're on their backs faster than you can say, "Son Of Sam". Aah, look at those honeys. And up there, we got the queen b*tch herself. [Looks at the go-go dancer in the cage] Yes sir, I got just what the doctor ordered for you. You might have fooled that jury, but you didn't fool me none. I wonder how you're gonna dance when i put 10,000 volts through your a**.