Tales from the Darkside

Season 4 Episode 15

Do Not Open This Box

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Aired Tuesday 8:00 PM May 15, 1988 on

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  • Quotes

    • (Rose is in the box, on which Charlie is putting a few "finishing touches")
      Charlie: There, at last. It works!
      Rose: Oh, Charlie... if it works now, it'll break later; and if it doesn't break, nobody would want it; and if anybody did want it, somebody else would already own the patent...
      (Hh shuts the lid, cutting her off, then returns the box to Satan's uncle/the Deliveryman.)
      Deliveryman: Thanks, Charlie. You say it can't be opened now?
      Charlie: You'd have to destroy that box before you could open it now.

    • Postman: I checked with my nephew, it says you're a pickup, not a drop off, let me check.
      (Charles tries to stab the postman)
      Charles: I can't do it, Rose.
      (Rose takes the knife and plunges it into the postman's back, the postman turns to Rose with the open box)
      Postman: Ah yes, Thou shalt not take thy Lord's name in vain, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's possessions, and thou shalt not kill. No wonder you're a pickup.

    • Postman: Isn't there anything you want, Charles? Your wife has made a lot of requests but I don't remember you asking for anything. Would you like to be young, I mean really young, pretty girls and fast cars?
      Charles: The only thing I want is to invent something that can help people. That's sort of always been my dream.

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