Teachers Season 1 Episode 4

(Jeff holds his notebook in the air searching for a Wireless Lan signal)
Calvin: Oh, I remember my first Laptop dance.

Dick: It's the 18th hole if you pour this you win the tournament
Tina: And if you don't, I'll let you watch me on a trampoline.
Dick: For $2000 bucks he can buy his own trampoline.
Jeff: You might be missing the point there Dick.

(student falls)
Alice: Mr. Cahill you just stepped right over that boy.
Jeff: Yea it's easy you just have to think of them as logs.

Alice: The harder I work the less effective it seems to be.
Jeff: So maybe don't work so hard.

Jeff: 1st hole, 540 yards. What do you think caddie, any advice?
Dick: Hit the ball before the 90sec time limit expires.
Tina: Yea go ahead give it your best shot. Oh and by the way I'm wearing a thong.
Dick: Big deal, so am I.

Alice: (to Jeff) Must be nice being you. Not only do you not take your work home with you, you don't even bring your work to work.

Jeff: (to Alice) Well in the future if you're looking for a good crying spot (points to shoulder) I've got one right here for you.

Jeff: You know I'm glad that you're doubting me because this year I play not for pride or for redemption or for the $2,000 prize money but for redemption.
Calvin: You said you weren't playing for redemption.
Jeff: Yes but as I was speaking I realized I was playing for redemption.

Tina (Sees Jeff, Calvin, & Dick): Oh look at the three of you. You're like a lesbian recruitment poster. Oh and when Jeff loses the tournament I would like to be paid in cash and not those coupon books you old people favor.

Dick: The wife and I are celebrating our 35th wedding aniversary and she wants me to take her to Applebees.

Jeff (holds out his jacket): Dick you wanna grab this.
Dick: Nope.
Jeff: But you're my caddie.
Dick: I don't care what you call me; I'm not gonna carry your crap.

Calvin: Hey Dick. What are you doing? I thought you gave up smoking.
Dick: Yea I did, but then I saw your play last night and decided to give up on life instead.

Jeff: I'm not used to living with failure. I don't know how you do it.
Calvin: I don't live with failure.
Jeff: No, but you are frequently seen with it.