Teachers

Season 1 Episode 3

Schoolympics

0
Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Apr 11, 2006 on NBC

Trivia

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  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (Alice enters the teacher's lounge)
      Alice: No need to stop talking – I just need to get my mail!
      Tina: Nobody was talking!
      Alice: Oh, sorry, I just can't tell anymore.

    • Alice: We can offer something Caulfield never can.
      Jeff: Metal detectors?
      Alice: All of us. (gathers all the teachers)

    • Alice: Is that what we're doing with all our gifted kids; send them to Caulfield?
      Jeff: Well we could try to send them some of our idiots, but I don't think they'll take them.

    • Alice: He made a secret wager with the Caulfield headmaster. If we win Martin Saunders gets to transfer to Caulfield Prep.
      Teachers: yea!... booo... (confused) ...yea?...booo?

    • (Calvin slaps a hotdog out of Dick's mouth)
      Jeff: What the hell are you doing? You don't put a hand near Dick when he's about to feed.

    • Jay: You coming to work here I don't know how you do it.
      Jeff: I don't know how you don't like beer. It's just so yummy.

    • Dick: Oww. Why did you punch my arm?
      Calvin: I didn't punch you in the arm.
      Dick: Oh that's not good.
      Calvin: I hope you aren't still thinking about doing that hot dog contest because you're in bad shape.
      Dick: Hey back off I already have a nag at home.

    • Jeff: I grew up with one brother and four bathrooms. I became pretty well acquainted with my body.

    • Dick: (staring at Tina's breasts) What happens to your ummm...
      Tina: It's a sports bra, Dick, it bushes them down.

    • Jeff: You, Alice Fletcher, are the alternate.
      Alice: Yeah. Wait. Doesn't that mean I don't do anything?
      Jeff: Well no. That means that you have the possibility of doing everything and the likelihood of doing nothing.

    • Jeff: And I wanna win schoolympics. Because I believe in this place and I believe in all of you. Well not all of you, but enough of you to actually win.

    • Jeff: I was thinking we could try this year and maybe we could win.
      Teacher: Why? We ain't get no car or nothin.
      Jeff: Well isn't pride worth...Wait. Aren't you an english teacher?

    • Calvin: (to Dick) I thought you said if it wasn't fried, breaded, or filled with nougat you wouldn't eat it?

    • Jeff: There are a lot of different ways to define a loser Jay. Someone who drinks root beer at a bar for instance.
      Jay: I'm a recovering alcoholic Jeff.
      Jeff: Loser.

    • Jay: Man I love kicking your ass. And do you know why?
      Jeff: Because you're not limber enough to kick me in the chest?

    • Mitch: As you know I'm captain of the schoolympics team. Again. And you will be doing the obstacle course.
      Jeff: No I'll be sitting in the stands and laughing at your little dolphin shorts.
      Mitch: Sounds good.

    • Jeff: Martin, I've been busting my ass for you on this because unlike most of these kids you have potential. (other students look) You guys are doing a bang up job.

    • Jeff (Alice pours tea): Girl from England drinking tea. That's like a girl from India...drinking tea.

    • Calvin: Who wants in on the student pregnancy pool?
      Tina: Alright it's not fair I don't know all of their names. Now who's the red headed chick who always wears those capri pants?
      Jeff: That's Bill Franklin and that's a whole other pool.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Spartacus
      The scene where each of the faculty members stands up and announces "I am part of this" is a reference to the movie Spartacus. Specifically, the scene where a crowd of people is addressed and Spartacus is asked to stand up to identify himself but before he gets a chance, the others in the crowd stand up and announce "I am Spartacus" to protect him.

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