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Derek is still by Cora's bedside while she sleeps, concerned that there might be something seriously wrong with her as she is not healing. Her werewolf abilities should have healed her by now, He cant help but think to himself "I was impaled by a metal bar and healed, I cant understand why Cora is still injured?.....Also, will this be covered by medicaid, because i dont have insurance"

His thoughts are interrupted when Scott and Stiles burst into the hospital room, both are clearly distressed and out of breath, from rushing directly to the hospital from the school.

Derek - "Whats wrong Stiles?"

Scott -"We need your..."

Derek -"Shut up Scott, I was talking to Stiles! Why dont you listen?. Stiles, tell me whats wrong"

Scott - "Its just...."

Derek -"Will you please shut your mouth!...I've had it...go and stand in the corner!"

Scott - "But I..."

Derek - "Get in the fucking corner now, just get in the fucking corner!"

Scott turns and slinks away to the corner thinking to himself "But i'm a true Alpha, he should listen to me. I never killed my girlfriend", but says nothing, because he suddenly gets distracted by something shiny and all his thoughts are replaced with "Oooooh shiny!". He falls silent, his simple mind so easily occupied.

Derek turns to Stiles "So whats wrong Stiles"

Stiles "My dads been taken by the Darach, and i dont know how to break it to you, but Miss Blake is the Darach"

Derek "Which Miss Blake?"

Stiles "Your Miss Blake"

Derek "No way, not her....not my sexy teacher, it cant be....we had a connection..we..."

Stiles "Dont want to know any details Derek!"

Derek "We made sweet, sweet love....it was so tender..."

Stiles proceeds to put his hands over his ears, "Lalalalala, not listening, lalalala.."

Derek "And her kisses were so different, i've never been kissed like that before..."

Stiles "This is awkward....she doesnt actually have any lips Derek. I dont know exactly what sort of kissing the two of you were doing, but the mental image is gross"

Derek is stunned into silence, all those times he spent with Miss Blake running through his mind. Some things starting the make sense - her constant morning breath , the ludicrous amount of lip balm she used before kissing, her claim that "I never get cold sores or chapped lips" - all flooded into his mind.

Stiles proceeded to tell Derek everything that happened in the last 24hrs, all the stuff about the Darach, Lydia being a banshee, the Celtic knots and their significance, how he got caught masturbating into a sock, the 3 murders...everything. Derek is still stunned, and even though he takes all this information, all he can do is whisper to himself "The best blowjob ever...and no lips.....no one could have known"

Seeing that Derek is distraught, and the shiny thing has gone, Scott decides to add to the conversation, letting Derek know all the information the guidance counselor shared with him, how Deoucalion "taught" the twunks how to fist, the fact that Scott is on the path to becoming a true Alpha and that Deucalion actually wants him in the Alpha pack. These revelations shock Derek out of any thoughts of self pity

Derek "WHAT!!" YOU'RE GOING TO BE A TRUE ALPHA!"

Scott "Yes"

Stiles "You?"

Scott "Yes"

Derek and Stiles look at each other, the sound of Cora's medical monitoring equipment is the only noise in the room.

Derek and Stiles "BWAHAHAHAHA, good one Scott"

Scott "BUT I AM!"

Derek and Stiles "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Scott "I'm totally serious guys"

Derek wipes a tear from his eye "So let me get this straight. You are going to be a true Alpha, and Deucalion wants you to join his pack willingly"

Scott "Yes"

Derek "Or he'll stop you from becoming a true Alpha...somehow?"

Scott "Essentially...yes, that's it"

Derek "And you are thinking of willingly joining his pack"

Scott "Yes"

Derek "You are such a simple, simple fool"

Scott "No i'm not, i'm sacrificing myself for the rest of you"

Derek "No you're NOT!. You're willingly joining the alpha pack to save yourself. But also because you are probably looking forward to Deucalion working you like a puppet"

Scott "What do you mean"

Derek "I mean Deucaliion is going to fist you like he did the twins. Its probably an initiation"

Scott "No"

Stiles "Makes sense to me"

Scott "So you're on his side now?"

Stiles "Scott, an older man wants a young boy to be a part of his "group", didnt you pay attention during those "Stranger Danger" video's"

Scott "Well, you see....i started watching.....but there was this shiny thing and....."

Stiles "God Scott! You are so fucking dumb at times"

Scott "No i'm not. I'm plenty smart"

Stiles "Lets skip over exactly how dumb the sentence "I'm plenty smart" makes you sound and just agree that willingly going with Deucalion is a dumb idea. You should have a shirt that says "The bad man touched me and i liked it!" "

Scott "Its not a dumb idea. I go with him and everyone else will be fine."

Stiles "NO SCOTT, NO!. Deucalion will then have you as his personal glove holder and then kill the rest of the beta's, probably Derek too and the rest of us just for jollies!"

Scott "But i'll be a true alpha, i'll be able to protect you, I'll be a hero....and Alison will love me again and everything will be fine."

Stiles"..... I give up"

Derek "None of that gonna happen"

Scott"Oh yeah, why?"

Derek "Firstly, the only true alpha i ever heard of was a woman....my mother. Now i know you are a pussy, but are you a woman?"

Scott "I'm not a woman...."

Derek "Do you have a mangina?"

Scott "NO DEREK, I HAVE PROPER BOY PARTS!"

Derek "But you are a pussy"

Scott "I AM NOT A PUSSY, I DO NOT HAVE A MANGINA AND WHERE DOES IT SAY ONLY WOMEN CAN BE TRUE ALPHA'S!!"

Derek "Fair enough, there could be a male alpha"

Scott "Damn right there could"

Derek "Just not you, because you are such a pussy"

Scott "I am not!"

Derek "Secondly, you are not a true hero"

Scott "Yes i am"

Derek "Maybe to the other people you rode the short bus with...."

Scott "I AM NOT DUMB!"

Derek ".....but to people who dont need to use their finger's to count, you are not a true hero"

Scott "I dont do that anymore"

Derek "And thirdly, you are not getting Alison back"

Scott "Why?"

Derek "I told my boy Issac to hit that, and he is reeeallly close to sealing the deal"

Scott "But she loves me. We're meant for each other"

Derek "She cant stand you Scott. he told Issac that you have a tiny dick. How you hit her. How you got a boner when you were hiding in the closet with her. Issac's says that she finds you creepy.......and that he is "totally going to smash her back doors in." Those were his exact words Scott"

Scott "Why would you do that to me? Why would you make Issac do that"

Derek "Credit where its due...wasnt entirely my idea"

Scot "What"

Derek looks at Stiles, who is looking anywhere to avoid eye contact with Scott.

Scott "YOU WERE IN ON THIS?"

Stiles "Well........um......kinda"

Scott "KINDA?....KINDA?....YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!"

Stiles "Well, we were talking, and....you know...practical jokes came up......and i thought it would be funny.....but i swear, i never thought they would do it"

Scott "YOU GUYS SUCK! I'M TELLING MY MOM!"

Derek "She was in on it too"

Scott "SCREW YOU GUYS!". Scott storms out of the room, in tears, unable to see the funny side of his friends practical joke.

Now the only sound in the room is Cora's medical monitors, A minute or so passes. Cora begins to stir.

Derek "Hey sis, how are you feeling?"

Cora "Ok, I guess, bit of a headache."

Stiles "You just missed Scott"

Cora "Explains the headache"

All three "HAHAHAHA"

Stiles "So Cora, if you're feeling better, maybe we could hang out?"

Cora "That would be cool, yeah we could do that"

Derek, wanting to put some distance between his sister and Stiles "Stiles, lets go. We've gotta find your dad"

Stiles "And your horribly disfigured girlfriend"

Cora "What?"

Derek "Nevermind sis, i'll explain later. Lets go Stiles"

Derek and Stiles leave to find the Darach and Stiles dad. Cora goes back to sleep.

18 Comments
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hahaha this reminded me of the time when Jackson told Alisson that Scott was a little bitch
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What's with all that talk of pussies, suck, screw, and mangina.Are you perchance trying to tell us something?

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Anytime i see Scott on the screen I immediately hear those terms - i thought it was a subliminal message...... but now i am worried it may just be the voices in my head
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Talking about Medicaid, do you have any idea in which State is Beacon Hill? Because if it's a red state, like Texas, it is probably run by crazy, insane Republicans. Then chances are that scott might lose his insurance , too. And if Lydia ever gets pregnant from her Fisting Twin, she will be legally probed by her male gynecologist with something that I even shudder to mention here that will make her banshee wail shatter all windows at a thousand mile radius.
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Know you're not being serious, but for those who want to seriously know, it's supposed to Northern California.
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Thanks
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No problemo!
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Its next to Springfield
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how serious, but I know why.
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A hilarious, yet so realistic, prediction of events!
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I love how Scott is being berated constantly by Derek and Stiles. It's cute, yet cruel. Hope to see more!
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I love it I so love it I hope to see more soon I love your stiles you kick ass next week I hope that you get peter in on this
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If something comes up next week, i may do another
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what a mirthful and realistic story:-)
amazed by your endless talents!
ROFLMA~~you captured the essence of Scott perfectly!!
More short stories please!
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Not tonight.
Now go to bed
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Yes, go to bed so as to not get 'caught masturbating into a sock'
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you tease!
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