Death is a tacky tramp who WILL start a fight with Joy and Love in a nightclub bathroom. The nightclub, of course, is called Human Existence and it serves overpriced drinks and plays too much Alice Deejay. But if we're being honest, the presence of Death and her bad perm is a major selling point of this joint. Yes, she is constantly windmill-hitting other club goers, but it really keeps things interesting, you know?
This 100% perfect metaphor is brought to you by Teen Wolf and supernatural dramas and ALL dramas in general, because all good storytelling is positively death obsessed. For as much as we claim to hate the Grim Reaper IRL we definitely have a long and illustrious love affair with this figure when it comes to serialized dramas. Death keeps the stakes high and the terror delicious. Unfortunately that often translates to a high body count among characters we'd come to know and/or love. The Vampire Diaries for example has killed off so many characters it's now safe to start referring the show's events as the Mystic Falls Holocaust of the 2010s. Teen Wolf, on the other hand, has been far more reluctant to kill characters and that includes even villains. I can count on one hand how many regular or recurring characters have been permanently killed in all 2.5 seasons so far (I have a few extra fingers), and personally I like the lack of closure with villains, especially if it means they get to return to the show as snarky sidekicks or ooze-spewing invalids. The low body count also makes death feel more shocking and profound when it does occur, which is why "Currents" felt like such a heavy blow: One kindly werewolf bit the dust and a second was properly mourned! Well, congratulations Death, you've thrown a Long Island Iced Tea in our faces once again!
I really enjoyed "Currents." It was insane. Let's talk about it!
So the episode began more like an episode of ER: Beacon Hills as Scott's mom dealt with an influx of car crash victims. Right off the bat it was clear something strange was going on... People in this town die from NON-monster related causes? Whoa, too real.
Scott did his part by bringing his mom some tacos and also using his werewolf powers to suck the pain out of people. Scott is a very nice kid in my opinion. I mean this in all sincerity, he is the rare lead character I actually root for.
So then Ethan dragged Danny into the ER with an unexplained ailment and they were immediately bumped to the front of the line because they are hot hunks and that's just how the world works.
P.S. This lady in the background is my new favorite character:
We've all been there, girl.
So then this happened:
Uh Danny, what have you been eating? Let's take a look:
Uh, first off, where was the cutesy forced hashtag for THIS scene, MTV? Anyway, Danny had been eating mistletoe for some reason. Question: Everyone knows that if two people stand under mistletoe they have to kiss, but what happens when two people stand over mistletoe that's been regurgitated on a hospital floor? Asking for a friend.
So one of the reasons the ER was so impacted was because the main doctor lady was stuck in traffic getting hassled by moths.
But WHOOPS! Suddenly all the moths swarmed inside her car and slapped her face with their wings and tried to fly in all her face holes and also this happened:
So it turned out that eating mistletoe was a real bad time and Danny almost died because his insides were like, "No me gusta." But then Scott's mom stabbed him in the lung to help him breathe and he survived. Phew!
This prolonged beat of Scott just being in awe of his mom was really touching sorry. If you were feeling heart-cold before this scene, it was probably all warmed now.
So anyway, outside, Ethan was trying to explain to Scott that he and his pack had nothing to do with harming Danny, and that the twins had dated both Danny and Lydia in order to find out which one of them was important to him in the scheme of things (Lydia). Then this happened:
It was the lady doctor's car! But when they looked inside she was nowhere to be found!
Just that moth. You'll pay for this, moth.
Meanwhile in some other part of town a SECOND doctor had been discovered murdered. The crime scene rubberneckers included THE DEMON WOLF, his #2 boy hunk, and also a werewolf hunter giving them some truly hilarious side-eye:
The Alpha pack was still super into tagging:
Derek was getting very nervous that the pack was about to come get their revenge for a killing he didn't even do. Ugh, werewolf honor codes.
Oh boy, then this scene:
I mean. Believing that a third doctor murder was imminent, Scott and Isaac stayed up all night watching over Mrs. McCall and drinking soda pop. (Haha that framed picture of Scott placed directly over Isaac's dreaming head.)
Then Mrs. McCall woke up and pretended that her heart wasn't bursting from feels.
Sorry everybody, I know I am a grown adult but THESE FEELINGS ARE NOT MY FAULT & THIS LIFE IS NOT MY OWN.
Anyway, later on at school Scott accepted a phone call from his boss during class:
It was very spooky when the veterinarian calmly explained to Scott that he was about to be kidnapped by moths and then he turned to watch the window as moths gathered there and blocked out the sun. Uh, but, could you elaborate on that, dude? Maybe keep your GPS on so that Scott can more easily follow you after tons of moths whisk you away to wherever? I don't know, maybe the vet was just too surprised by all the moths kidnapping him to think up a better plan. Still so creepy though!
So then Boyd and Isaac called out of school sick with explosive diarrhea and offered to help Derek fight off evil werewolves.
So yeah, that was the plan: They'd flood Derek's expensive loft with water so that a barefoot alpha could be more easily electrocuted. Perfect. A+ plan. No need for a backup plan. Proceed, gentlemen.
Meanwhile at the now-missing veterinarian's clinic, Sheriff Stilinski was asking tons of questions but getting nowhere in his murder investigations (did the FBI get bored and leave town?). That's when Scott decided now might be a good time to finally clue him in on the town's monster situation.
Stiles was against it at first and he used the same kind of terrible logic that has become a beloved trope for this genre: Characters trying to "protect" people by keeping them in the dark about the existence of monsters. Because yes, ignorance and lack of education always do people right. Anyway, in a refreshing twist, even Stiles came to acknowledge that his dad probably deserved to know what was going on, if only so that he wouldn't look like THIS all the time:
In my opinion whenever human characters start getting "IN" on the monster narrative, things get way more fun. Like now that Lydia, Mr. Argent, and Mrs. McCall all fully know what's going on they have way more to do and are actually more fun to see interacting with our heroes. (Could someone debrief Danny soon?) Plus, as Scott pointed out, he and his mom grew even closer after he came out to her, so maybe Stiles has that to look forward to?
Lydia and Aiden tried to have a shirtless hug in the locker room but the fire alarm went off and also Derek's sister showed up to hassle her about dating villains. I liked that Lydia pointed out she'd accidentally been dating a villain all during Season 2 and therefore didn't really care anymore as long as the dude was hot. YOLO!
Oh, so, we also got official confirmation that Kendra the guidance counselor was indeed the veterinarian's sister, and she recommended to Stiles that they put Lydia's paranormal intuition to the test to try to find out where the moths had taken him (uh, Kendra, maybe YOU should look into his whereabouts also?). Unfortunately Lydia didn't have much to offer ability-wise, as she insisted she wasn't psychic and didn't really know what they wanted from her. But in my opinion she was just being difficult seeing as she'd just recently spent a night listening to suicidal ghosts. Get real, Lydia. You know sh*t.
Meanwhile Scott had an encounter with THE DEMON WOLF in the music room, and the dude confirmed what we'd assumed: The Alpha pack have nothing to do with the druid shenanigans and a team-up might even be in order. But first! He wanted to torture Scott a bit more by making him snatch the pointy-edged walking stick away from him. Which of course was impossible because this was THE DEMON WOLF after all.
Then he was like, "follow the currents" and took off to go grab a sandwich or something. Very helpful.
Are any of you shipping these two:
I mean, a romance is inevitable right? Anyway, Mrs. McCall pointed out to Stiles' dad that the victims had been hung from their wrists until they died, meaning the vet could go at any minute. A cut-away revealed he was also hanging in the bank vault from earlier in the season. So, uh, yeah. Discount rate on abandoned bank filming locations?
Here's the thing. If you're going to use the close-up of a phone in lieu of exposition, maybe have the texts make sense? Like, this is supposed to be Scott's phone but who sent whom these texts? Did Scott say "I think I found something" to Allison? I don't know, I don't use Android. But also, why did she wait a full day to answer his urgent question? Also, why wasn't SHE in school? Explosive diarrhea? Doesn't matter, because then we cut to THIS scenario:
Yup, Scott got a boner while he and Allison were hiding in her closet so that her dad wouldn't know they'd been going through his junk. Although, who wouldn't get a boner with that weird pilgrim dress Allison was wearing. Then she turned around and he rubbed his boner on her butt then they almost kissed but then didn't. Teens!
After Allison decided to stop rubbing up on Scott's boner, they left the closet and waved a UV wand over secret symbols on her dad's map of the town. Clearly ever since Mr. Argent had been keeping busy ever since he decided to get back in the saddle (the werewolf-hunting saddle), and that included sussing out all the locations in town where druidic kidnapping victims were to be found. Cool research project!
Meanwhile at Derek's loft, the 2-man boy army grew restless waiting for the showdown to begin. That's when the lights cut out! (And, therefore, their #1 line of defense.)
Not only had the barefoot lady Alpha arrived, she'd brought a hostage!
Kali's logic was pretty sound actually. Threatening Derek's boo's life was the only way Derek would agree to tell his boy army to stand down. So yeah, everyone then just became simple spectators to Derek and Kali's super wet splash party.
After the gang had deduced that Danny had been targeted by the druids but NOT sacrificed, they wanted to figure out why. It turned out he'd written a paper about magnetic field currents in town. Oh Danny, what a rookie mistake. It's like TLC said, "Don't go chasing [magnetic field currents]." But I just wanted to point out what the late rave enthusiast Mr. Harris had written on Danny's proposal. Do you see what I see? HE ALSO pluralized nouns with apostrophes! Because of course he did. Man, and he was a TEACHER too. Now we know where Allison got it from. Anyway, I'm not saying he deserved to die for pluralizing nouns with apostrophes, but I am saying it just got way easier to mourn him.
I will NEVER not love a scene that involves teens gathering in shadows to figure out crimes. It's one of my very favorite things and this scene was AMAZING. First of all it made next to zero sense. Granted I am not an intellectually diligent viewer, but this conversation about Beacon Hill's magnetic field currents was SO baffling. That being said, my brain was tingling the entire time? The ENTIRE time my brain was a'tingle. These kids are so smart! I mean, it all culminated in them realizing that the veterinarian was being held in the bank vault (because currents) but the most intriguing thing about this scene was it set up the town as having a mysterious, paranormal energy to it which might finally tie together all the non-werewolf supernatural phenomena. Druids, Lydia, Peter Hale, the Kanima, the Vet & Kendra. Whereas it once felt like there was no rhyme or reason as to what was going on with this town (which I didn't mind), the show is slowly and patiently tying together loose ends from SO long ago that things are starting to feel more epic by the episode. Anyway, yeah. I loved this scene so much even though I've never felt dumber. Gotta love a show that throws tons of complicated concepts at you and trusts you to keep up. I couldn't but it was a thrill all the same.
Maybe I imagined this but for a minute there it seemed like Stiles and Lydia were about to have a 'moment' but then they got distracted by the pouty werewolf in the backseat. I guess she was worried about Derek or whatever because at the moment he was fighting a she-beast in ankle-deep water.
Yeah it was the same old kinda flippy, kick-slappy fight they normally did, just way wetter. On the upside at least Kali was washing her feet in the process?
Meanwhile Scott went to the bank to go find his boss but was chagrined to discover he'd been surrounded by a circle of Mountain Ash. Which meant he couldn't get through it or break the circle, not even with a rolled up newspaper or a hard sneeze. But still he tried!
He pushed so hard against that force-field that he almost turned into an Alpha for a second! But then he didn't and then he fell down and Stiles' dad popped by to shoot the veterinarian down from the ceiling.
At first it seemed like the Sheriff had finally been clued in about all the paranormal stuff (Stiles said he'd do the honors) but in actuality he'd just found the teen detective agency's paperwork and recognized the bank symbol on them. That was actually some good police work on his part! Kudos.
The rest of the gang showed up at Derek's pad and turned the power back on.
Unfortunately that meant both Boyd and Derek also got shocked!
But instead of finishing Derek off, the Alphas had an even worse indignity in mind.
They made him murder Boyd with his own claws!
I had to watch this scene four times because for the life of me I could not make out what Boyd was saying as he died, but it ended up being actually very poignant. He thanked Derek for changing his life, then talked about finding strength in a lunar eclipse, which I think is now officially this show's metaphor for werewolf death?
And then, get this, we got a cutaway to Erica in the vault before SHE died, giving a short monologue wondering what happens to werewolves during a lunar eclipse. Seriously poignant. And in a fitting tribute to Erica's memory, we saw once and for all that she hadn't gone down without a fight: She'd attacked Kali in a rage and lost.
Farewell Boyd and Erica. I know a lot of people didn't much care for these characters but I really did and here's why: They along with Isaac were basically this outreach program that Derek started as a result of his own loneliness. They all benefited from knowing each other as a group, but individually three troubled kids' lives were sincerely improved by not only their werewolf powers but also their friendships with our heroes. Boyd and Erica's existences were not only touchingly redemptive, they were also living endorsements of just how good Derek and Scott were as people (and, in a way, as parents and brothers). Sure, Erica's death felt like a way for the writers to clear the way for Derek's actual sister, and perhaps Boyd didn't have much to do from a story standpoint either. But they both represented the earnest goodness that is almost Teen Wolf's entire thesis statement. Ordinary kids made extraordinary, making mistakes but finding their ways. I will miss them.
So anyway, the episode ended another appearance from Gerard, first as an object of scorn from Mr. Argent who wanted ANSWERS NOW OR MAYBE TOMORROW about what THE DEMON WOLF was up to. But then right after he left the room Allison popped by and Gerard seemed much more eager to talk. The glimmer in his eye when he saw what a rebel his granddauhther had become was pretty thrilling to me, I don't know. Let's see where this goes!
Oh, and by the way, the veterinarian definitely noticed Scott's red Alpha eyes.
As he explained, in very rare cases, Alphas are born, not made. Which meant that Scott was some higher echelon Alpha. A chosen one. A werewolf messiah. A Jesus with a better haircut & torso. And because of that, it was more likely than not that the Alpha pack wanted HIM, not Derek, to join them. All these implications were just a lot for a teenage werewolf to handle!
Again, call me a sap (no, don't!), but this scene was also pretty powerful in its earnestness. As the veterinarian explained, Scott's innate Alpha-ness was either causative or correlative to his pureness of spirit. Like that earlier scene where he just sponged away a lady's pain, how he openly praised his mother, how he'd opened his home/bed to a troubled hunk orphan. Scott IS a genuinely decent guy and in a very low-key, unassuming kind of way. Personally I've always had a ton of affection for this character because yeah, he's kinda dopey and uncertain, but he's never less than genuine. Everything that he is is right there on the surface on display and it's downright refreshing. Look, I guess I just thought it was really touching to see the veterinarian borderline overcome with awe for this kid. He deserves it!
Dang, look at me, a grown adult working through almost all my emotions via a show about werewolves. Sorry, that's life sometimes. Deal w/it.
(Can we talk about the scenes from next week yet? Is that a spoiler? Because, um, FLASHBACK EPISODE! Young Peter Hale! Yes!)
... Did this episode make you feel emotional at any point be honest.
... Who will mop up Derek's apartment now?
... How much mistletoe is safe to eat/vomit?
... Have you ever been kidnapped by moths? Follow-up: Where did they take you?
AIRED ON 2/2/2016
Season 5 : Episode 15
AIRS ON 2/9/2016
Season 5 : Episode 16