That clackety noise you hear is the sound of a roller coaster gearing up for its big descent. The vague smell of funnel cake, the distant scream of a seagull, the fumes from the freshly airbrushed t-shirt you got with your name on it. We're high above a bustling boardwalk enjoying a one final, weird, silent moment of excitement before we throw our hands up and let the real fun begin. There's something truly magical about the final episodes of a serialized teen supernatural drama, especially when it's a show like Teen Wolf where every episode was designed to make the pay-off feel more substantial. Sure it's been fun the whole time, but you know things are getting serious when the characters don't go to bed anymore. We're now at the point where there may not be anymore ordinary school days or casual banter or towel scenes. Just lots of exhausting-looking jumping, screaming, scheming, and seething and it just feels so right. Look at us, we're already barreling toward the finale and "The Overlooked" was only the first of three more episodes? Has the season finale been stretched across all three this time? Is that even allowed? Can Teen Wolf DO that? It sure feels that way.
"The Overlooked" was terrific. Maybe we should just talk about it? Let's just talk about it.
This episode emerged from the womb IN TOTAL CHAOS. Thunder, lightning, a light drizzle, and EPIC music. This was not going to be a great night for anybody, but least of all Beacon Hills' only licensed nurse.
Apparently normal-seeming wind and rain were enough to completely devastate the town's power grid, which obviously called into question the town's infrastructure and basic utility safeguards, but those things didn't matter at the moment because branches were breaking all the windows and all six of the hospital's patients needed to be driven to other hospitals in other towns where storms don't go!
But lookit who the last remaining patient was: Cora! She was being hovered over by her undead werewolf uncle who had gotten so frazzled by the storm that he decided to go nude under his cardigan!
This run-in between Peter Hale and Mrs. McCall was amazing because remember that time he took her out on a date because he had bitten her teenage son and transformed him into a supernatural abomination before he went and got himself murdered in the woods by everybody and then turned into a ghost that enlisted a banshee to shine a moonbeam on his grave and resurrect him into a four-times sexier snark monster? But it was all water under the bridge at this point, and by water under the bridge I mean black werewolf vomit on the hospital floor.
Cora was not feeling or looking great!
Meanwhile, apparently a few minutes after Derek heard a banshee scream he left Cora's bedside at the hospital (which was under attack by tree branches) to return to his loft? Where his poseur ladyfriend had shown up after very quickly dropping off Stiles' dad somewhere? Look I don't know how much time had passed since the last episode except tons of characters were still chilling at the high school after the concert, so I'm going to go with it being between 6 and 14 minutes later. But yeah anyway, the Dark Druid lady was trying to pre-emptively convince Derek that he shouldn't listen to whatever lies Scott and Stiles would tell him, especially if they were about her being a Dark Druid or something crazy like that. It wasn't clear how Derek factored into her plan or why she even cared what he thought so I just assumed it was because she anticipated she'd probably thirsty for D again and didn't want to ruin things with her main hookup.
Unfortunately Scott and Stiles had beaten her to the loft. They had also apparently raced there after Stiles' father was stolen, probably because just texting or phoning or paging Derek would not have been a good enough way to tell him that his girlfriend was made of moths.
This was the best: She tried to play it off like they were a bunch of lying rascals, and Scott responded by just throwing a bunch of ground-up mistletoe IN HER FACE!
Haha nice try lady. So yeah, anyway, we were still in the cold open and Derek finally knew the truth about his boo.
But instead of ripping her throat out right away, they all realized that they needed her to tell them where Stiles' father was being kept. Also she really, really wanted to help them fight the Alpha pack because OH YEAH this whole conflict is really just between her and the Alpha pack. If it weren't for her predilection for mass murder and targeting their loved ones for human sacrifice, Scott and the gang could've just stayed in and made it a Blockbuster night. Which really calls into question the Darach's decisionmaking. If she'd just sort of targeted nobodies from a neighboring town instead of messing with the loved ones of extremely powerful and heroic supernatural creatures, she probably could've destroyed the Alpha pack a long time ago and been sipping a Mai-Tai in Cabo by now. I don't know, I'm probably getting ahead of myself.
So anyway, next thing we knew they were all at the now-evacuated hospital looking for Cora and Peter. Unfortunately they were intercepted by an amalgamated pair of fisting hunks!
The difference now, of course, was that Ethan and Aiden were more sympathetic than before and didn't seem to want to murder our friends at the moment. They were just there to do a job, specifically to help find and kill the Darach.
The Darach being the Darach, she took the opportunity to slip into the elevator and run away. Oh, the Darach.
Unfortunately she got off on the wrong floor:
At this point if you were me, you were like, 'Wait, hold up, Darach? Aren't you super powerful and junk? Why are you afraid of some skinny werewolf lady with black press-on toenails?' But that's when this happened:
So yeah. The Darach loves to split her time seeming super vulnerable and super powerful, just depends on what any given scene calls for. I mean if I were the Darach, THE DEMON WOLF would've been carried away by moths and dropped into a volcano months ago.
So back at the high school Allison and Isaac were still there chillin like people who don't have much to talk about and are probably going to start making out any minute now if only to break the ice. At some point Allison's dad showed up and they all three realized they weren't included in the main storyline and immediately decided to fix that problem. To the hospital!
Despite being one of the few medical professionals in town with the power to save lives, Mrs. McCall was still hanging around the hospital, just enjoying some Me time. It was pretty fun when she encountered THE DEMON WOLF and just sort of nonchalantly fingered him as the Big Bad:
See, again, I love it so much that Mrs. McCall is "in the know" (which is a figure of speech I just made up, do you like it?) and savvy about what her son's been up to. She was already one of the most likable moms on TV but now she's legit heroic also. Just FYI this image of the Alphas' glowing eyes was like food for my nightmares and trust me my nightmares were not exactly starving.
The twins meanwhile were roaming around trying to find where the gang was hiding and they took a few beats to shirtlessly debate about whether murdering their classmates was a good idea or not. The one that climbs all over Danny preferred not to murder people, but the other one reasoned that their main goal was to pre-emptively kill the Dark Druid that is trying to kill them. Which, fair enough. The problem was that when they crumple their bodies together into a behemoth with an unfortunate T-zone, they have to compromise on where their fists can punch. So that is just tons of conflict right there. Sometimes the idea of being a werewolf twin does not seem very fun.
Anyway, after her attempted escape didn't work out, this lady decided to return and play it off like she was only pretending to leave them high & dry.
The deal was that the Darach would fix Cora (who was puking up so much mistletoe at this point) but only if they could safely transport the Darach to safety. In order to do that they'd have to sneak into the hospital garage and in order to do that they'd have to distract the twins. In a move that probably gave 100% of viewers an uncomfortable tingling sensation, none other than Peter Hale stepped up to personally fight the Alphas! (But don't get your hopes up, he would not be turning into a CGI cartoon in this episode or even wolf out in any way. But still. Hale heroics, you feel me?)
I loved this part: Scott found an enormous needle of drugs that I guess doctors use to inject into peoples' hearts when they are Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction but Derek pointed out that injecting the twins with this would only make them stronger and so cut to THIS:
Anyway, the plan basically worked because pretty soon Stiles was chilling with a comatose Cora in the back of an ambulance. Except, whoops, she stopped breathing!
Luckily he knew CPR:
I think that during the flashback episode Stiles and Cora talked in each others' general direction a bunch so that means they are falling in love maybe? I don't know but it sort of seemed that way. Stiles definitely told her that next time he puts his lips on hers he hoped that she would be conscious.
Which was sweet, but also, um, weird.
Meanwhile the Argents and their orphan friend showed up at the hospital!
At one point Isaac got down and pressed his face against the hospital floor so that he could try and figure out where everyone in the hospital was. Not sure why I felt the need to point this out. Not sure of anything ever, in general. (Oh and this isn't super related but have you seen Immortals? I recently stayed up until dawn watching it and it was one of the top ten best decisions of my life. I mean it had Klaus AND Isaac? And THIS happens?)
Anyway, suddenly Scott was back in the hallway facing down the Alpha behemoth once again.
But it was all prelude to this classic TV mom moment:
Hahah perfect. Again, see what I'm saying about Mrs. McCall? Her monster education is now complete. The only thing left is for us to figure out with whom to ship her. Stiles' dad? Mr. Argent? Peter Hale? THE DEMON WOLF? Don't look at me like that, you know there was some weird tension during their confrontation. It was almost to the point where I began to question if THE DEMON WOLF was Scott's dad or not. I mean probably not because Mrs. McCall didn't seem to recognize him or hit him up for child support, but you never know with monsters these days. Just shapeshifting and/or changing their faces whenever they feel like it.
Speaking of which. Derek and the Dark Druid were trapped in an elevator and their conversation took a turn for the hilarious. Obviously he was very much over her and we can assume it had a lot to do with the fact that she was an unrepentant mass murderer of innocents. But the hilarious part was that she was mostly just concerned that he had seen her true face and wouldn't think she was pretty anymore. Oh please, ugly, get real!
So at this point the Darach monologued about what had happened to her face, which was intercut with Kali and THE DEMON WOLF discussing their roles in the Darach's backstory.
Apparently Jennifer aka Julia aka Future Darach was Kali's druidic emissary and former bestie. When THE DEMON WOLF commanded that Kali murder her entire pack including the emissary, Kali couldn't bring herself to 100% murder Julia, so she just 99% murderered her, ripped a lot of her face and mouth off, and then left her for dead.
Unfortunately for Kali and the Alpha pack, the 1% of Julia that was still alive dragged its sorry butt ten feet over to where an ancient tree stump was and it turned out that stump's roots went down into the weird cellar from the flashback episode where Derek had snapped the neck of his teenage girlfriend. So, basically, to sum things up, Derek had accidentally "sacrificed a virgin" back then and therefore the dead girlfriend's power had absorbed into the tree roots and gave Julia just enough life essence to stay alive and plot a decades-in-the-making revenge on them all. Simple, really.
Oh, and if you're interested in how mistletoe came to be a thing, she also told this big long story about how the Norse god Loki once murdered his brother with a harmless, overlooked herb, and now the Darach considered herself to be overlooked and therefore harmful and, you know what? Doesn't really matter. It still makes me laugh that mistletoe is being treated as a dangerous weapon. LOL sure. But how was she jamming it down peoples' throats though? Did she put mistletoe in Cora's Kix? The Darach is such a weirdo. A weirdo who was still, despite everything, so thirsty for Derek's D. Not that he was having it anymore.
Meanwhile those who weren't trapped in elevators or dying in ambulances convened to figure out how to once again distract the roving band of murderous Alphas so that Mrs. McCall could turn the power back on and free Derek and his lipless ex from the elevator.
So yeah, I don't know why the plan involved a brand new shiny version of a car that I had assumed was discontinued in '99, but here we were. Also this was cute:
Just so we're clear, this was a product placement within a product placement. But it still gave us a chance to see Isaac and Allison videochat about how nervous they both were. Should they just make out already? If only so they each get it out of their systems and can go back to pining after Scott.
So then the plan was put into motion!
The werewolves chased after someone they THOUGHT was the Darach and then they assembled into attack formation:
But it was a classic Argent switcheroo! The Argents are the best. I love this family so much. I was hoping for a cutaway to the ghost of Mrs. Argent sitting on a mailbox just watching all proud, but maybe next week. Anyway, those werewolves got shot UP and ran away into the bushes. Bye, haters!
Right when the power flipped back on, the Darach turned back into an ugly burn victim and that's when Derek realized he'd been PUNK'D.
That lady didn't care about his pity at all! She just wanted his friends to protect her so that she could scoop up Scott's mom for sacrificial purposes! That's because it turned out the final trifecta of victims, "Guardians," referred to PARENTS. So Mrs. McCall, along with Stiles' dad, would be the next sacrifice.
Ah, the tables just kept on turning. At this point Scott was presented with an offer:
THE DEMON WOLF offered to help Scott destroy the Darach and save his mom.
So although the episode began with the idea that our heroes would join up with the Darach to defeat the Alpha pack, it now appeared as though our heroes would join up with the Alpha pack to defeat the Darach. And all it would cost Scott was his very freedom and perhaps soul!
As for the parents, we found out where the Darach had taken them: That weird sacrificial tree root cellar!
Poor guardians. Part of me was hoping that the Darach had ALSO scooped up Mr. Argent, thus making all three of the kids' single parents the final victims. But then he wouldn't be able to bust into a room firing two guns and we all know that is Mr. Argent's #1 favorite thing to do. Busting into a room firing two guns. So it's probably for the best he wasn't kidnapped just yet. Still though, two beloved parents are now in danger! The Darach definitely makes questionable decisions when it comes to strategy, but one thing is definitely clear: She seems very mean! She is just a mean lady in general.
"The Overlooked" was not only a very good and fun episode, it felt like merely the beginning of what may prove to be a three episode long finale. Which just feels right. You know? Teen Wolf deserves nothing less. I want more, I want it, I love it and want it all.
OK BYE STAY SAFE
... Who is the bigger threat to our heroes' well-being: The Darach or the Alpha pack?
... What is less attractive: The Darach's real face or her love of murder?
... With whom do you ship Mrs. McCall?
... Did you like Peter Hale's sweater?