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Season 5A Finale, "Status Asthmaticus" Reactionary Review
Aug 25, 2015
Hellhounds and Banshees and Wolf-Coyotes OH MY!!
My thoughts going into the episode: When last we all gathered to discuss Teen Wolf, Punk-Ass Theo exhibited some real bitchass-ness when his lying ass told a whole bunch of lies on Stiles outta his lying-ass face cuz he's a lying-ass bitch like that. And then Scott lapsed into some bitchass-ness too when he just took Lying-Ass Theo's word and didn't bother asking his best friend for his side of the story. Scott has some redemption to do in my eyes. Unless of course, it was a sham and Scott knew Theo was listening and said all that for his benefit because he immediately pegged Lying-Ass Theo as a liar when he threw Stiles under 16 buses and then ran him over 3 times with all of'em. In which case good job Scott. Guys, I really hope we get definitive answers tonight. I wanna know what ...Read more
Season 5 Episode 9, "Lies of Omission" Reactionary Review
Aug 18, 2015
LYING-ASS THEO CAN EAT GLASS!!
My thoughts going into the episode: 1. How fitting that tonight's episode is titled "Lies of Omission" what with Theo's lying ass being a lying liar. 2. I hope Scott steps to him tonight! And Stiles better finally 'fess up too; I can't stand this secret between Scott and Stiles. 3. I really hope we get some answers like what the f*ck the Doctors want so they can stop bugging out on everybody, who/what was that gross-looking dude-thing floating around in hot dog water, why does Malia's mom have no chill, who took her chill, and where can she find it again cuz she need to calm down cuz ole girl trippin, and WHAT IS PARRISH?

That bite on Stiles' shoulder looks hella bad. Please don't let him turn into some kinda monster.

Aaww, Layden looks cute together!

Deaton is still missing?! Oh ...
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Season 5 Episode 8, "Ouroboros" Reactionary Review
Aug 11, 2015
The Doctors Are In..........To Some Freaky Sh*t
My thoughts going into the episode: 1. Theo's lying ass ain't sh*t, don't fall for the okey doke. STAY WOKE. 2. I kinda like Hayden now, so I hope she doesn't die. 2. Theo ain't NO GOOD; he's nothing but a triflin ass, no good, scum-bucket. 3. PLEASE, LET STILES TELL SCOTT ABOUT DONOVAN! 4. THEO......AIN'T......SH*T! 5. I really wanna see Scott come to Liam's rescue and bust into the Doctor's lair like a boss. I really just wanna see Scott not get his ass beat, tbh. 6. I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to know what Parrish is once and for all. 7. I hope Theo stubs all 10 of his toes on the corner of a coffee table. ONE AT A TIME. BACK TO BACK.

Deaton! I missed you.

Eeeww! The f*ck is in all ...Read more
Season 5 Episode 7, "Strange Frequencies" Reactionary Review
Aug 04, 2015
WHAT.......THE......ACTUAL......F*CK!
My thoughts going into the episode: 1. What are the chances our ragtag team of monsters are gonna get pieced up by the Doctors again? I'd say VERY HIGH. Especially Scott, who, for reasons unbeknownst to me, has been getting pieces broken off his ass repeatedly. Step your game up, Scott; you're supposed to be a True Alpha. Oh, and let's not forget about Kira. Lawd knows that girl stay getting her dome knocked back. 2. On a scale of 1 to Donald Trump, exactly how triflin is Theo for blackmailing our precious and loved Stiles? Hella triflin. The answer you're looking for is "Hella triflin".

Theo over here spouting nothing but lies. GUARANTEED.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hayden punched the shyt outta Liam and then DIPPED THE F*CK OUT WITH THE QUICKNESS! She straight up Usain Bolt'd the f*ck outta there. That Bitch said I ...
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Jul 28, 2015
Everybody Got Their Ass Beat
My thoughts going into the episode: 1. Theo got one more time to put his triflin ass hands on Malia and it's that ass 2. I hope we get to see Malia's triflin no good momma so Malia can whip her ass for f*cking her life up for no reason 3. Please let Stiles tell Scott about Donovan, I really don't like the idea of secrets between them. And Scott better no be Judgey McJudgerston about it or my wrath will be unleashed 4. MORE MARRISH PLEASE.

DANG. We coming out the gate the Doctors beating Scott's ass?

GET HIS ASS MALIA! BEAT THE F*CK OUTTA HIM! MOLLY-WHOP HIS ASS!

.......OH SH*T, WAIT A MINUTE NOW. ABORT! ABORT THE MISSION. BITCH RUN!

Stiles, please just tell them about Donovan. It does no good to keep it secret.

#MARRISH. I NEED IT.

Theo stop ...
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Season 5 Episode 5, "Novel Approach" Reactionary Review
Jul 21, 2015
That Awkward Moment When Evil Doctors Suck The Eyeball Outta Your Forehead
My thoughts going into the episode: SOMEBODY SAVE STILES. BEAT THE F*CK OUTTA DONAVAN. THAT'S ALL I CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

OMG STILES!!! RUN! PLEASE GRAB THAT WRENCH AND BUST HIS HEAD WIDE OPEN SO WE CAN WATCH HIS BRAIN RECONSIDER HIS LIFE.

That mouthpalm is hella gross.

GET IT! GET THE WRENCH! BEAT THE WENDIGO OUTTA HIS ASS!

YES!!! I HOPE THAT SH*T HURT.

OMG, HE HAS A MOUTH ON HIS THROAT?! BUT WHY THO?!

OMG. IM SO WORRIED RIGHT NOW.

Control yourself Stiles, don't let him rile you up. Please.

Omg, I cannot take this tension.

Did anyone else scream when he grabbed Stiles through the bookcase? Cuz I didn't, I was just wondering.

Donovan wants to eat Stiles' legs. Can you calm down with the cannibalism tho,

HE KILLED DONOVAN! GOOD. EAT METAL YOU BASTARD.

What is that grey sh*t?!?! What ...
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Season 5 Episode 4, "Condition Terminal" Reactionary Review
Jul 14, 2015
Teen Wolf Meets Fullmetal Alchemist
My thoughts going into the episode: Exactly how long does Lydia's mom have to back the f*ck up off Melissa's man before she get that ass beat? I KNOW! 2 seconds and then I'm jumping through the tv and choking the life outta her for even thinking she could talk to the Sheriff. Melissa+Sheriff Stilinski ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

So we starting the episode right off the bat with Lydia+Parish?! YES. I need dis.

Are we finally gonna get confirmation that Parish is that creature that burns up and comes back? (I won't say the name in case some of y'all haven't caught on yet or don't know the creature).

Lydia: "You can last longer than that".
Girl, you better flirt like that!!

Omg. I seriously cannot take all this Lyarish/Paridia/Lydan/Jordia? (Is there a ship name yet ...
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Season 5 Episode 3, "Dreamcatchers" Reactionary Review
Jul 07, 2015
WHAT THE F*CK ARE THE DOCTORS?!
My thoughts going into the episode: So what happened on last week's episode? Oh yea, I forgot.....THEO IS CLEARLY HELLA PSYCHOTIC AND NEEDS JESUS OR A HUG MAYBE? Cuz he straight up beat the sh*t outta his fake dad's hand with a HAMMER for sucking at being fake. HE GOTZ TO GO. IDGAF HOW CUTE HE IS OR HOW FLY HIS ABS ARE (HE AIN'T NO TYLER HOECHLIN ANYWAY). Also, the girl with the f*cked up night terrors clearly needs to call on the name of Gawd too cuz she was being nasty and spitting up DEMONS/CROWS AND SH*T. ALL OVER OTHER PEOPLE'S SH*T MIGHT I ADD. And then her f*cked up life got even more f*cked up when some "Doctors" who are CLEARLY straight from the pits of Tartarus committed all kinds of malpractice and f*cked ...
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Story
Jul 01, 2015
"Night 2 of the Season 5 Teen Wolf" are they making teen wolf Watch Game of Thrones Online or Is it A New Trend in TV shows to kill every character?
I read This It's Night 2 of the Season 5 premiere, and nobody is safe! Let's talk about it. And Now i am thinking about Teen Wolf Being on the same path as Game Of Thrones. I means yeah we know Game of Thrones is a good Show and everything is just as unexpected as we would have not thought will be unexpected. Is it a new trend in TV shows to make things unexpected.
Story
Jul 01, 2015
Season 5 Episode 2, "Parasomnia" Reactionary Review
My thoughts going into the episode: I BETTER SEE ME A LITTLE PIECE OF TYLER HOECHLIN IN THIS EPISODE OR I'MA BE PISSED! I DON'T GIVE A F*CK IF Y'ALL GOTTA "WHERE'S WALDO?" HIS ASS AND HE'S JUST IN THE BACKGROUND OF EVERY SCENE WITH NO SHIRT ON LIKE SOME KINDA CREEPER. MAKE IT HAPPEN. **I'm aware he's no longer a series regular, I just don't care because....his face, that's why.**

Oh look, it's Lydia's mom! Bitch where your ass been at this whole time your daughter been getting her ass snatched up left and right and sh*t?! Triflin.

Tracey looking like she done been through some sh*t. I'ma just go ahead and assume Life has been whooping her ass cuz she looking shook.

Maybe she's a Banshee who's visions show up ...
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Episode 10 Season 5
Status Asthmaticus
Aired
8.24.2015
Episode 9 Season 5
Lies of Omission
Aired
8.17.2015
Episode 8 Season 5
Ouroboros
Aired
8.10.2015
Episode 7 Season 5
Strange Frequencies
Aired
8.3.2015
Episode 6 Season 5
Required Reading
Aired
7.27.2015
Scott McCall
Allison Argent
Stiles Stilinski
Derek Hale
Lydia Martin

MTV's reboot of the classic 1980s cult movie Teen Wolf. Scott is a typical high school student until one night he is bitten by a strange animal while walking in the woods. His best friend tries to help him understand the changes he's going through as he becomes a werewolf.