Teen Wolf Season 1 Episode 5

Coach Finstock: So, Stiles: great kid, zero ability to focus, super-smart, never takes advantage of his talents...
Sheriff Stilinski: What do you mean?
Coach Finstock: Well for his final question on his midterm exam, he detailed the entire history of the male circumcision.
Sheriff Stilinski: Well, I mean, it does have historical significance, right? I mean...
Coach Finstock: I teach Economics.
Sheriff Stilinski: Ah, crap.

Teacher: Let me tell you, there's plenty to say about Lydia.
Mr. Martin: (snaps at Mrs. Martin) Did I not predict this?
Mrs. Martin: Here we go: total nuclear meltdown, as usual.
Mr. Martin: What is it? Is it her grades, concentration issues, erratic behavior?
Mrs. Martin: I'm not the one who told her she had to choose who she wants to live with, as if that wouldn't warp a sixteen-year-old girl.
Mr. Martin: Just tell us what the problem is.
Teacher: I wasn't aware that there was a problem. Academically, Lydia's one of the finest students I've ever had. Her A.P. classes push her G.P.A. above a 5.0. I'd actually like to have her I.Q. tested. And socially she displays outstanding leadership qualities. I mean, she's a real leader.

Mr. Harris: Jackson's a highly-motivated student. In fact, I'd describe him as unusually driven.
Mr. Whittemore: Yeah, we were hoping he might ease up on himself a little; he's always been real hard on himself. It's just something we assumed was an effect of him being adopted.
Mr. Harris: I think I understand. He's never met his biological parents.
Mr. Whittemore: Yeah, that's right- it's the need to please, the overachieving, the desire to make someone proud, someone he's never even met.
Mr. Harris: Something certainly seems to have re-calibrated his desire for achievement several notches higher. Not to be too blunt about it, but he seems almost obsessed.

Kate: Wow, this one grew up in all the right places. I don't know whether to kill it or lick it.

Stiles: Lydia, what did you see?
Lydia: (drugged) Something.
Stiles: Something, like a mountain lion?
Lydia: A mountain lion.
Stiles: Are you sure you saw a mountain lion, or are you just saying that because that's what the police told you?
Lydia: A mountain lion.
Stiles: (holds up stuffed giraffe) What's this?
Lydia: A mountain lion.
Stiles: Okay! You're so drunk.

Stiles: I was just making sure you were okay.
Lydia: Why?
Stiles: Because I was worried about you today. How are you feeling?
Lydia: I feel fantastic.
Stiles: [Sees her pill bottle] I bet you can't say "I saw Susie sitting in a shoe-shine shop" ten times fast.
Lydia: I saw shoesy... I shaw...

Mrs. Martin: Honey, there's a Stiles here to see you.
Lydia: What the hell is a stiles?

Stiles: Do you have any idea what's going on? Lydia's totally MIA, Jackson looks like he's got a time bomb inserted into his face, another random guy's dead, and you have to do something about it!
Scott: Like what?
Stiles: Something!

Derek: Do you wanna do homework? Or do you wanna NOT die?

Derek: We're predators. We don't have to be killers.

Sheriff Stilinski: I'm carrying a lethal weapon: if I want the curly fries, I will have the curly fries.
Stiles: If you think getting rid of contractions in all your sentences makes your argument any more legitimate, you ARE wrong.