Kelso: Wait, Rudolph had a girlfriend! Her name was Clarice! She thought he was cute! You-you know who was gay? It was that elf Herbie! What straight elf has hair like that?
Hyde: Kelso, Rudolph was short, had a girly voice, and was light in the hooves, if you know what I mean!
Fez: Of course Rudolph was light in the hooves! He could fly! Oh, I get it!
Fez: Why does the foreign guy have to be the shepard? I never herded sheep in my life. Well... once for a favor. Why can't I be a lifeguard?
Kelso: Or a space lifeguard!
Fez: I could herd ladies into the pool. Into the pool ladies! That would be a great job!
Kitty: So, Eric, have you made your Christmas list for Santa yet?
Eric: I was going to, but then I turned 10.
Bob: Thanks Red. If I had mistletoe, I'd kiss you.
Red: Yeah, well... If I had mistlefoot, it'd be in your ass.
Bob: You don't want anybody to have a happy Christmas.
Red: Oh, you want happy? Drink another six-pack.
Jackie: Okay Eric, I want to be the virgin Mary. See, she's pure and holy, and rides a unicorn.
(in Kelso's Claymation dream sequence)
Santa (referring to the gang): Screw those dumb asses.
Leo: You can't go home, man. This pageant is your chance to spread some christmas spirit. And that's contagious, like VD.
Eric: Okay... Kelso, I don't think Jesus was the son of a spaceman.
Kelso: Really, where do you think God lives?
Kitty: Oh, my god. I'm married to the Grinch! I'm Mrs. Grinch!
Red: Well... as long as you're not Mrs. Tattletale, we'll be fine.
Red: Bob are you drunk?
Bob: I'm not sober.
The opening credits theme music has chimes and horns added to it to make it Christmassy, and someone (possibly Tommy Chong) says "ho ho ho" at the end of the opening theme.
Space Bass Films, Inc. was credited in the closing credits for the animation sequence.