That '70s Show

Season 5 Episode 9

Black Dog (a.k.a. Ow, My Eye)

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Dec 10, 2002 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman kitchen Jackie tries to convince Hyde to shave off his beard, but he doesn't want to. Kelso says that it's the beginning of the end for them, and he remembers the part of their relationship where Jackie used to boss him around. Kitty comes in and tells Jackie that she just got a call and Jackie has to go home because there's a problem, but she doesn't know what ; when Jackie leaves the room, Kitty tells them that Jackie's father isn't a councilman any more. Eric says that Jackie's father is so dishonest that he makes Nixon look good, which upsets Red.

[Scene change: Kelso and Jackie's faces in a close up shot.]

In the Forman basement, Kelso looks at a BB gun that he found in his backyard. Eric can't believe that Mr. Burkhart might actually be going to prison; Fez says that his father went to jail, and then describes what happened on last night's episode of Quincy as if it's his own life. Kelso says that Jackie's in trouble and so will come running to him; Hyde points out that Jackie's with him now, and that Jackie won't lean on Kelso's shoulder because it's all bruised, then punches him. Eric tells Kelso to be careful with the gun, but Kelso says that they don't just go off by themself. Donna points out that that's exactly what he said when he shot Eric's pet hamster, which surprises Eric, as he thought that his hamster was sent to live at a farm. Jackie comes in and says that she doesn't know what to do now that her dad's in prison and runs over to Hyde. He doesn't comfort her at all, so she switches to Donna.

[Opening credits.]

[Scene change: Fez struts towards the camera.]

At the DMV, Kelso tells Fez that Jackie blew right by him; Fez has heard it 20 times. Fez points out Nina, the woman of his dreams, and asks for Kelso's help with her heart. Kelso keeps going on about Jackie and Hyde; Fez tells him to shut up, and that Jackie's gone. Nina comes over and tells Fez that he's late for his finger printing tutorial.

[Scene change: Donna twirls around and looks up at the camera.]

In the Forman driveway, Eric shovels snow; Donna comes over and Eric comments that she's wearing her engagement ring and wants to know if she's told anyone; she admits that she told the pretzel guy in the park.

In the Forman kitchen, Kitty wants to know if Hyde's having problems with Jackie, and wants to know what happened. Hyde says that he didn't know what to say about her dad. Kitty tells him that he doesn't know how to comfort people because he's never been comforted. Eric and Donna come in and Eric says that they're the perfect couple and can teach him about relationships: Eric says back off but Donna says go to her; and then they argue over who's right.

At the DMV, Nina shows Fez how to do finger prints, using his hand in the demonstration. She tells him that firm but gentle pressure is needed, and then comments on how strong his hands are, and that his right hand is much stronger than his left. Fez attributes this to the fact that he's a sword fighter. She apologizes if she's short-tempered, and then kisses him, but pushes him away saying she can't, and no one can know that she kissed him. She leaves, not knowing that she has black hand prints on her butt.

[Scene change: Jackie struts towards the camera.]

In the Forman kitchen, Jackie talks to her mom on the phone and tells her that Mr. Burkhart's in trouble, so she has to come back from Mexico. Kitty tells Red that Jackie's been moping for an hour; Red says call the cops. Kitty wants him to be a father figure to her. Red tells Jackie that her father's rich, so he can buy his way out and go free. Jackie says he's right and is happy.

In the Forman basement, Donna asks if Hyde has talked to Jackie; Eric says that he should give her room to breathe. Kelso says that he doesn't get Jackie, because they were together for years and the second he turns his back, she goes to Hyde. Hyde tells him to get over it, and then they start to argue, and Kelso accidentally shoots Hyde, who falls to the floor, clutching his eye. Eric is shocked and Donna says, "That is exactly what happened to Snowball!"

[Scene change: Kelso dances towards the camera, Eric swings across the screen on a rope.]

In the Forman basement, Kelso says he's sorry; Hyde says that Kelso shot his eye and he can't see, and Kelso's dead. Kelso runs away, and then Hyde tells Eric and Donna that the BB winged his shoulder and he just wants to teach Kelso a lesson; that Kelso has been bitching about him and Jackie, so it wasn't an accident.

[Scene change: Fez dances towards the camera.]

In the Forman basement, Fez says he's in pain. Donna tells him that rejection hurts, but Fez says that he kissed Nina but she stopped and now he's in pain. He leaves, and Donna says that she thinks they're all getting too comfortable with each other; Eric says that they'd be more comfortable if they had more space. Kelso comes in and asks where Hyde is; Hyde comes out of his room wearing an eye patch, and says that he can't see what the gift is that Kelso's offering him. He takes it, and says that he has to go flush out his eye. Kelso asks if Hyde's going to be a cyclops, and insists that the gun went off by accident. Eric says that Hyde thinks it was on purpose, and Kelso says it was accidentally on purpose.

[Scene change: Donna dances across the screen, Kelso dances towards the camera.]

In Hyde's room, Jackie tells Hyde that she's sorry about his eye but he kind of deserved it because he's being a jerk about her dad. He tells her that she should get a carton of cigarettes so that her dad won't become someone's girlfriend, and that's good advice. She's upset, but he insists that it really is good advice; his mother told him that when his dad went to prison.

In the Forman kitchen, Donna asks Kitty and Red if giving someone space or showering them with affection is the right thing to do. Kitty says shower with affection, Red says give them space. Kitty asks what Red said and he says, "I said what you said." He tells her that she needs space when menopause makes her crazy; which she freaks out over, and screams at him, then leaves. Red glares at Eric and Donna.

In the Forman basement, Hyde is watching TV, then puts the patch down when he hears someone coming; it's Kelso who tells Hyde that he's not okay about him and Jackie, and he might never be, so the only way to solve things is for Hyde to shoot him back. He gives Hyde the BB gun, and bends over for Hyde to shoot him. Hyde pulls up the patch to take aim, and Kelso sees this and knows that Hyde lied about his eye and chases him upstairs.

[Scene change: Kelso jumping in the air.]

In the Forman basement, Jackie says that her mom is flying home from Mexico, so things must be serious, and then adds that her whole life is falling apart. Hyde comes in and doesn't have a beard; he tells Jackie that he thought that it might cheer her up. She's happy that he let the razor say the words he couldn't speak. They kiss, Donna and Eric both say, "awww..." Eric tells Donna that he's come to a conclusion: she can talk about stuff, and he'll leave; she says that she'll just follow him and continue talking. Fez comes in and tells them that his little man has turned black; Eric and Donna laugh, and he tells them it's not funny because his little man is going to die. He raises his hands and asks, "How could this happen?" and his hands are covered in finger print ink.

[End credits: In the Forman basement, Fez tells the gang that he washed but the ink isn't coming off his little man; Kelso says to try beach, Jackie says steel wool, and Eric tells him to use the steel wool first and really scrub; if it doesn't sting, it's not working.]
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