Eric Forman's House; Point Place, Wisconsin; 12:43 a.m. In Red and Kitty's bedroom, they wake up suddenly because of a noise somewhere in the house. Red says it's Eric, trying to sneak out, but Kitty is sure that it's a burglar, and Red comments that Schotzy is no good as a guard dog. As they creep down the hallway, Eric comes out of his room wearing only a bed sheet, and says that he heard a noise; Red is shocked to find out that Eric sleeps in the nude. Red then suggests that the noise is probably just Hyde sneaking out, and Kitty is worried that the burglar has Hyde; Red says that if that's the case, they'll talk him into taking Eric too.
In the Forman basement, Red, Kitty and Eric go into Hyde's room and turn on the light; they see Jackie in bed with Hyde, and are shocked. Hyde is shocked too, and asks Eric if he's naked.
[Scene change: Jackie's face in a close up shot.]
In the Forman kitchen, Red asks who Hyde thinks he is, bringing a girl into the house, and Kitty adds that Baby Jesus is watching (from the box of Christmas decorations in Hyde's room.) Hyde tells Jackie that he'd warned her to be careful where she was walking, and she says that she was trying, but tripped over some space station that was by the door. Red wants to know what's going on, and Hyde says that Jackie has been sleeping in his room for a couple of weeks; Eric is appalled that Jackie tripped over his space station and wants to know if it's been damaged; Red yells at him to put some pants on. Hyde explains that Jackie has been staying with him since her father went to jail, and her mom is still in Mexico. Kitty comments that Jackie told her that her mother was at home, but Jackie just says that it's private, and she's just a slut, and she'll go home. Kitty tells her to sleep in Laurie's room.
In the Forman basement, Hyde tells Donna that her weirdo boyfriend sleeps in the nude, and she informs him that she does too. Fez comments that it's glorious and then runs out. Jackie comes downstairs; Donna says that she's sorry that her parents are gone, but Jackie insists that she's fine, and then says that Kitty made her some smiley-face pancakes for breakfast, and tells Eric that staying at his house is like staying at a shabby hotel that has really good service. Eric wants her to rebuild his Lego Space Command Center. Kelso wonders what was going on in Hyde's bed if both of them were in it; Hyde says they were just sleeping, and Jackie agrees, saying that they didn't do anything. Kelso says that you can't sleep in a bed with a girl without doing it.
[Scene change: Kelso crawls across the screen.]
On the Forman back porch, Fez says he doesn't know what's going on with Nina, she won't let him meet her parents, and Kelso says that she's probably afraid that he'll say or do something weird, adding that the gang is all used to him, but Fez is weird. Eric adds that Fez doesn't make the best first impression, then remembers when Fez first met Red and Kitty... Fez is in the Forman kitchen with Eric, who introduces him to Kitty, and Fez grabs her and kisses her...
Kelso laughs and can't believe that Fez did that, but Eric tells him that it gets more disturbing... in the Forman kitchen, Eric then introduces Fez to Red, and Fez moves towards him as if he's going to kiss him, but Red pushes him away, telling Eric to get 'this creepy bastard' off of him...
Kelso asks Fez how kissing Kitty was, and Fez says that it was good; Kelso laughs and says that Kitty is spunky, while Eric sits there looking grossed out.
In the Forman kitchen, Kitty says that they could go on Donahue
, but Bob says that Carson
is better. They all agree that Jackie needs a place to stay and that she can't stay at home alone. Hyde suggests that she could stay at a hotel, but Kitty says no, they have an empty room that she can use. Red is upset about this and comments that every time they get rid of one kid, Kitty fills up the space with another kid. Eric and Donna try to lighten up the situation with jokes, but then Bob tells Donna that she should tell Jackie that she can stay with them, in Donna's room. Donna says no, but everyone stares at her; Donna gives in, telling them that they'll all pay for it, and leaves.
[Scene change: Donna walks towards the camera and blows a kiss.]
In the Forman basement, in the circle, Donna says having Jackie stay with her is going to be a nightmare, then imitates Jackie calling Donna a giant who eats a lot; Eric tells the gang that there's no disgusting reason that he sleeps in the nude, he's just a hot sleeper, then admits that it's because he's a teen aged boy and his girlfriend is right next door; Fez tells them that he has the perfect opening line for when he meets Nina's mother, he's going to tell her that he can see where Nina gets her lovely ass. Kelso tells Fez that he'll make him so beautiful that they won't even notice how weird he is; Kelso says that he'll make Fez "man-pretty." In a black and white movie, titled "Make You Man-Pretty", Kelso is dressed as a scientist and stands with Fez. Kelso washes Fez's hair then looks for lice, then combs his hair into an afro. Fez tries to use the blow dryer; Kelso takes it from him but grabs the hot end and burns his hand. Finally, Fez is in a suit and looking nice; Kelso pats him on the back, and Fez heads out for his date. As he leaves, we see that Kelso put a "Kick Me" sign on his back; Kelso laughs.
[Scene change: Kelso dances towards the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Donna suggests that a mobile home could be an option for Jackie, and they could just have it parked in the driveway; Eric informs her that it's not an option, and that Jackie is her best friend. Donna says that Jackie isn't, then thinks about it, and realizes that she is, and wonders how that happened? Red comments that "Mr. Nude is helping," and Bob says that that was his nickname in college. Hyde tells them all that he doesn't think that Jackie will like it if everyone is present when Donna talks to her, but Kitty says that everyone needs support, then tells a story about meeting some "nice men in orange robes" outside an airport, and how they offered support, and she almost went with them... they were called the Hare Krishna. Kelso comments that "those freaks" hassled him too, so he stole their thin mints, and Eric informs him that Hare Krishna don't have thin mints, that's the girl scouts. Jackie arrives, and Hyde leaves to break up Eric's space station; Donna tells Jackie that they've all been thinking that since she's going through some hard times, she should stay with Donna. Jackie denies that she's having hard times, saying that she's fine and has a wonderful life. Donna insists that Jackie is having hard times, pointing out that her dad is in prison; Jackie then tells Donna that her problem is that she's just not popular enough. The two of them begin to argue while everyone else watches; Donna finally gives up and tells Jackie to leave; after she goes, Kelso says that the argument was hot.
In Nina's dining room, Fez tells a story about how to make a canoe out of banana peels and Nina's parents laugh, then Nina suggests that they should go. Her mother says no, they enjoy having Nina's friends over; Fez then uses the "lovely ass" line and they laugh again, but then he adds that he wasn't talking to her mother, he was talking to her father, and they laugh again. Nina's dad says that Nina is really broadening her horizons, and Nina's mom again comments that Fez is a "friend." Fez tells them that he's actually her boyfriend, and her parents laugh again, and tell him that he can't be her boyfriend because he's different. Fez is upset, and says that they mean "not white," and then leaves, angry.
In the Pinciotti kitchen, Donna tells Hyde what happened when she asked Jackie to stay at her place; Hyde says that Donna embarrassed Jackie in a room full of people, then suggests that Donna think about her own life when Midge left, and how she would have felt if she'd walked into a room full of people who all told her how sad her life was. He suggests that she ask Jackie in a way that she can live with.
[Scene change: Donna dances towards the camera, Jackie is on a swing.]
In the Forman kitchen, Donna explains to Jackie that she was right, and Donna is, in fact, unpopular, and too tall, and that red hair is gross, so she needs Jackie to come and stay with her because she's afraid that her unpopularity will follow her to college unless Jackie helps her be more like Jackie. Jackie says that she'll do it, as long as everyone knows that she's just doing it for Donna; they hug and Jackie thanks Donna, and gives her the first piece of advice: break up with Eric.
[Scene change: Donna looks up at the camera and twirls around.]
In the Forman basement, Fez has just told Kelso what happened at Nina's place, and Kelso is surprised that her parents didn't like him because he was foreign rather than just weird, and says that's shallow. Fez says that he's never been treated like that before; Kelso tells him that some people will judge a person on the color of their skin, or their accent, and that's why Martians won't come to Earth. Fez wishes that there were a place with no prejudice, and Kelso tells him that that's Canada... that Canadians don't make generalizations because they're too busy playing hockey, or getting drunk, or putting maple syrup on their ham. Nina comes in and Fez tells her that it's over between the two of them and there's nothing that she can say to change his mind; she tells him that she's really angry with the way her parents acted, and wants to get back at them by doing it with Fez on their bed. He says, "Except that." The two of them leave together.
[End credits: In the Forman upstairs hallway, Red stands outside Eric's door and bangs on a pan with a spoon, yelling "fire!" Eric comes out, wearing only the bed sheet; Red tells him that they're going to keep doing this until Eric puts some bottoms on. Eric goes back into his bedroom, and Red starts banging on the pot again.]
Of Note in This Episode
The "Man-Pretty" movie originally had a voice over, but it was dubbed out in the syndicated version.