In the Forman basement, Eric comes in and tells the guys that he's been voted Point Place High's most eligible Viking. Kelso says that it opens up a whole new world for him - one where he can actually date women. Eric imagines Pick A Chick game show, where he asks bachelorettes questions, and after receiving their answers, he chooses all three of them. Hyde is the host, and Kelso the announcer. and they're both jealous of him.
Hyde tells Eric that he doesn't want to be in Eric's fantasies.
[Scene change: Eric lying on the floor, smiling up at the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Donna and Jackie come in; Eric shows Donna the paper naming him most eligible. He tells her that he's learned that he's pretty; he suggests that they officially start dating other people. She sarcastically says that she's been waiting for his permission to date again.
[Scene change: Fez walks across the screen; Hyde is on a swing.]
In the Forman kitchen, Red comes in and shows Kitty the paper with a 58 Corvette advertised for sale. Bob comes in and tells Red about a new idea he's had: he was reaching for tissues in his car while crying about Midge, and came up with the 'Weeper-Keeper', a tissue holder that clips onto the sun visor of a car, so he's rich again, and can buy whatever he wants.
At The Hub, the guys sit around and look through the year book for girls that Eric should date. Eric points to a girl and Kelso says he's made out with her, so Eric doesn't want to date her. Leo says that he knows one of the girls - who isn't all there; Hyde asks if she's a space-cadet, but Leos says no, she's missing a toe. Eric sees Emily over by the counter and goes over to talk to her; she saw the article in the paper. Jackie tells Donna that she has to start dating or else she'll look pathetic and offers to set Donna up. Fez comes in and tells the guys that Rhonda has something special to share with him tomorrow night and that means that they're going to do it, so he'll need a place. Leo offers the Photo Hut.
At the car dealership, Red and Bob look at the Corvette; Bob says it's really small, then notices the free donuts and goes in for one. Red sits in the car and imagines driving it; Bob comes out and tells Red that he just bought the car.
In the Forman basement, the guys are playing Mousetrap; Fez brags about doing it tonight with Rhonda. Jackie comes in and tells them that she set Donna up with Casey Kelso. The guys all laugh and Hyde says it's going to be the best bad date ever. He and Eric pretend to be Casey and Donna on a date, not getting along. Kelso says Casey's not that bad, and knows a lot about chicks.
[Scene change: Eric and Hyde's faces in boxes as Kelso walks by.]
In the Pinciotti kitchen, Jackie is helping Donna get ready for her date. Donna can't believe that she's agreed to go out with Casey. A car horn honks outside; Donna isn't impressed by this and comments that Casey's a jerk. Then she goes out and is stunned by how good-looking he is. He compliments her on how she's really grown into her sweater. Donna gives Jackie a thumbs-up and gets into the car with him.
[Scene change: Red pounds the screen.]
In the Forman kitchen, Fez is sitting at the table; Kitty comes in and asks him why he's there. He tells her about his "friend", named Johnny Table, who is about to do something special with his girlfriend for the first time, but he denies that it's sex, saying that it's Putt Putt. And the girl has putted a lot, but the guy has never putted, and so needs some advice. Kitty understands, and knows he's talking about himself; she tells him to be respectful and wear a condom.
At The Hub, Eric tells Emily about breaking the TV with a bowling ball, changing the end to him telling Red to fix the TV himself. She tells him she's had a crush on him for a long time, or at least since the paper came out.
On her date, parked by the side of the road, Donna tells Casey she can't believe he's Kelso's brother; he offers her a cold one. She thanks him for listening to her talk about her mom. He says that he learned one thing in the army; when life gets you down, turn up the music and have a beer.
In the Forman driveway, Bob tells Red that some jerk bought the Corvette right out from under him. Red opens the garage door and says this will make Bob feel better - a look at his new Corvette. Bob doesn't feel better, but Red does.
At the Photo Hut, Fez thanks Leo for letting him use the Hut; Rhonda comes in and Leo leaves them with some advice that his father gave him: 'get a job dope-head.' Rhonda tells Fez that he's more special than any of the other guys she's been with and because she cares about him and their relationship, she wants to wait. Fez can't believe this; she says she loves him; he says he loves her too, so they can wait. They hug, and Fez leaves to sit in the snow.
[Screen change: Eric falls towards the screen.]
In the Forman driveway, Eric comes in with Emiily, telling her more made-up stories. She asks him to call her, so he shouts her name. She laughs and says "on the phone!" and leaves. Donna and Casey come in, Casey calls him "Foreplay" and tells Eric he hasn't changed a bit. They talk a bit, then Casey leaves the two of them standing there. Eric tells Donna "better luck next time," and is surprised when Donna says she might go out with Casey again. She leaves when he tells her to think of two words: "Donna Kelso", and adds that she should think of the children...little red headed morons. He's saddened by the whole thing, then laughs it off, saying that Casey is a Kelso.
[End credits: In the Forman basement, Fez comes in and tells the guys that he has done it with a woman. They look at him and he admits that he's still a virgin, then runs out. Kelso and Eric hand Hyde some money.]
Of note in this episode
The story that Eric tells Emily about the bowling ball breaking the TV is from the first season episode The Good Son