That '70s Show

Season 2 Episode 1

Garage Sale

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Sep 28, 1999 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman basement, Jackie tells Kelso that she wants him to take her to a movie; he suggests that they see Smokey And The Bandit, but she tells him that she hates the south. Donna suggests The Goodbye Girl, and Eric tells her that there are two things wrong with that movie: No Smokey and no Bandit, then adds that it's a girl-movie. Hyde tells the guys that a 'girl-movie' is just a make-out movie, so Kelso and Eric have to reconsider which movie to see. Red and Kitty come in from outside; Kitty comments that it's T minus one hour to the garage sale, and then says that she feels like an astronaut. Red comes out of the back room with a box, and Kitty starts looking through all Eric's old things: his roller skates, his yo-yo, and his plastic vomit. Red comments that Eric wasted a lot of Red's money on these things. Hyde says that he feels bad that he has nothing to contribute to the garage sale; Kitty tells him that his smile is enough, but Red says that it's not, and gives him the box of stuff to take outside; Hyde gives the box to Kelso. Eric tells Red that he and Donna were going to go to the movies to see The Goodbye Girl, but Red tells him that he's not going to a movie, he's going to help with the garage sale. Eric comments that they have to have the garage sale because Red lost his job, then corrects himself and says it's to clean up the clutter. Red tells Eric that the gravy train is over, and Eric is surprised to hear that there was a gravy train. Kitty suggests to Hyde that he could sell lemonade at the garage sale, and Hyde points out that he usually beats up people who sell lemonade, so Kitty suggests that he could have a bake sale, and sell cookies or brownies. Hyde starts to object, then realizes that he could sell brownies... his special brownies, saying that people love his brownies. Eric says, "No, they don't," but Hyde insists that people ~do~ love his brownies. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: Donna struts across the screen, Eric slides behind her.] In the Forman kitchen, Hyde takes his brownies out of the oven; Kitty tells him that he's a joy to have around. Kelso tells Hyde that he loves brownies, then asks, "What has two thumbs and likes brownies?" and points to himself with his thumbs and says "This guy!" Eric comes in and tells Hyde that he told him not to make the brownies, and that his mom and dad are... he sees Kitty and finishes up with "way too fat!" Kitty tells Eric to leave Hyde alone, and adds that he put the special ingredient in the brownies; this shocks both Eric and Hyde, then Kitty says that the special ingredient is love. Laurie comes in and tells Kitty that the woman from across the street is changing price tags outside, so Kitty goes out. Laurie dips her finger in the brownie batter and teases Kelso with it, then licks her finger off and goes out. Eric tells Hyde that he can't sell his special brownies at the garage sale; Hyde first says that Eric should have warned him, then says that he's made two batches, one special batch and one regular batch for the straight people, or the losers. In the Forman driveway, Donna tells Eric that she can't believe that he'd rather stay at the garage sale than go to the movie; Eric tells her that he'd love to go to the movie but Red would kick his ass. Donna tells him that she could kick his ass; they start a tickle fight and Fez joins in and ends up taking over, tickling Donna while Eric stands there and watches. Laurie comes out and tells Red that she's helping by rounding up a few things to sell at the garage sale; Eric looks in the box of things and says that these are his things, his G.I. Joe action figures. Laurie tells him that it's just garbage; he takes the box away from her and says, "What a bitch!" then turns around and sees Red, so adds, "-a-roonie doonie!" At the bake sale table, Hyde asks a customer if he is now or has ever had any affiliation to the Point Place Police Department, and when the guy says no, Hyde gives him a special brownie. Bob and Midge see that Red and Kitty are selling the gifts that they've given them; Midge holds the kissing dolphin sculpture up, and Kitty says that it must be out there by mistake, and takes it back into the house. Bob picks up the pocket fisherman that he gave Red as a gift, and asks if Red's going to take it back in, but Red tells him that it isn't out there by mistake, it was just a crappy gift. Donna, Jackie and Fez head out to the movie. [Scene change: Kelso and Jackie jump in the air.] At the movie theater, Kelso is asleep on Jackie's shoulder; Fez is on Jackie's other side, with a tub of popcorn in his lap that Jackie is taking popcorn from. Fez dumps some of the popcorn out, so that Jackie will have to dig deeper in the tub; he tells himself that this is his chance, then turns and kisses Jackie. She kisses him back at first, but then realizes that it's Fez, and yells at him to stop, and asks what he's doing. Kelso wakes up, and Donna shouts, "Oh my God!" Kelso reaches across Jackie and punches Fez... the scene freezes just before Kelso's fist reaches Fez's face; Fez reviews what has happened, trying to figure out what has happened: he thinks that Jackie likes him, she thinks he's funny, and ate popcorn out of his lap, so where did he go wrong? The scene unfreezes to a cartoon "KA-POW!" In the Forman basement, Hyde counts his money and says that he's out of brownies, but the money doesn't add up; it's like he lost a whole tray of brownies. Eric asks where he left the last tray, and Hyde says that he left them in the oven. The two of them run upstairs... In the Forman kitchen, Red, Kitty, Bob and Midge sit around the table, eating brownies; Kitty tells Hyde that his brownies were a big hit. [Scene change: Hyde jumps towards the camera.] In the Forman garage, Red eats a brownie and says that he's glad that the plant closed as it frees him up to do his own thing. Kitty laughs and repeats what he said, and Midge tells him that saying "Do my own thing" is really hip. Bob comments that he really likes salty food; Red says that he likes the way that "hip" sounds, it pops, then starts saying "hip hip hip." Kitty comments that fruitcake is beautiful, all the colors of the different fruit mixing together; Midge says that she jumped out of a cake once, and Bob tells them that while he likes sweet food too, he just really likes salty food. Red is still saying "hip" but tells them that it starts to lose its meaning after a while. There's a knock, and Kitty says that her heart is really loud, but Midge says that it's someone at the door; Bob suggests that it's the cops, and Red shouts for the person to take whatever they want, then gets up to see who it is. Kitty tells Midge and Bob that for a terrible grouch, Red is great in bed; Midge laughs while Bob finishes off the potato chips. Red comes back and sits down; Kitty asks where he went, and he says that some guy offered him $200 for the Vista Cruiser, so he sold it to him. Kitty says "Oh, no!" then starts to laugh. In the Forman kitchen, Eric and Hyde have Red sitting there, while they give him a lecture; Eric asks what Red was thinking? Red and Kitty see the wallpaper moving around behind Eric and Hyde's heads. Red tells Eric that he thought that he was helping because Eric is always going on about how he needs money, and Eric points out that he needs money for gas for the car. Hyde tells him not to yell at them, then tells Red that he shouldn't take things that aren't his, and he should have checked first. Eric comments that he still had things in the back seat of the car, and now it's just gone. Hyde asks who he sold the car to, and Red says Peter... Peter Cottontail, then starts singing the Peter Cottontail song. Eric leaves the room. On the Forman front porch, Jackie tells Donna that she doesn't blame Fez for what he did, adding that she's very appealing. She confesses to Donna that it wasn't terrible, in fact, it was the best kiss she's ever had. Donna can't believe this, and Jackie tells her that Fez is not an option, but Kelso has never kissed her like that. Donna wants to know what was different about it, and Jackie tells her that Fez rolled his tongue, like he does when he talks and rolls his Rs; that he did this in her mouth. Jackie sits back and smiles and says that she loves kissing; Donna thinks about it and then says she's going to go find Eric. In the Forman basement, Donna comes in and wants to talk to Eric but he tells her "Not now!" He tells Hyde that he warned him not to make the special brownies, but Hyde wouldn't listen. Every time that Hyde tries to speak, Eric cuts him off, and continues on with his lecture; Eric tells Hyde that he wasn't thinking and now Red and Kitty are fried, and Eric has no car. Donna interrupts and asks if Red and Kitty are really fried, and laughs; Eric says that when you dance with Mary Jane, you get your toes stepped on. Red comes downstairs and says that he remembered who he sold the car to, but now he can't remember what he remembered. He then says that maybe the name of the guy is on the check that he got for the car; Hyde and Red go upstairs to get the check, and Donna laughs until Eric tells her that her parents ate the brownies too. [Scene change: Donna jumps in the air while Eric falls away from the camera.] In the Forman basement, Fez is reading a magazine; Kelso comes in and starts imitating Fez, saying "In my country, we make out with other people's girlfriends!" Fez says that Jackie came on to him by telling him he was funny, but Kelso points out that sometimes that just means that the girl thinks you're funny. Kelso explains that Jackie is his girlfriend, and nothing can come between their bond. Fez points out that Kelso wants to make it with Eric's sister, and Pam Macy, and a lot of other girls. In an apartment building, Red tells Eric and Hyde that he thought they were going for ice cream; Eric says that they just said that to get him in the car, but Hyde points out that Eric promised. As they argue over the ice cream, Red takes the fire extinguisher off the wall and sprays them with is, and then laughs. Eric knocks on the door; Red tries to leave, saying that he doesn't want to do this, but Eric won't let him go, telling him that he has to take responsibility for his actions. A girl answers the door; Eric asks if her father bought a car, and she says yes, he bought some piece of crap. Red tells her that it's not a piece of crap, it's a Vista Cruiser, and you can cruise the vistas in it. She gets the keys for them, and Eric gives her back the check; Red comments, "What a bitch-a-roonie doonie!" In the Forman basement, Hyde asks Eric if the two of them are okay now; Eric says that he thinks Hyde has learned his lesson, and Hyde says that he's learned that he can do something completely stupid and irresponsible and get away with it, then goes to his room. Eric calls after him that that wasn't the lesson, and there are consequences, but Donna grabs him and kisses him. Eric is impressed, and comments that she rolled her tongue. Donna excitedly asks, "Yeah, isn't it neat?" Eric kisses her again. [End credits: In the Forman kitchen, the table is covered in food; Kitty and Red are eating while Laurie, Hyde and Eric sit and watch them. Red asks, "You know what would be great for dessert?" and Kitty answers, "Hot dogs!" Red tells her that she's read his mind; he gets up to get the hot dogs, and Kitty says that she'll boil the water.]