That '70s Show

Season 2 Episode 13


Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Jan 18, 2000 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman kitchen, the family is eating breakfast; Red comments that it's the first day of hunting season; Hyde and Eric start saying "Duck!" "Rabbit!" until Red tells them to shut up. Kitty tells Red that he should go hunting and get some fresh air, and also get rid of his lousy mood, pointing out that he hasn't been hunting since that terrible accident years ago. Red points out that they can't afford it, but Kitty tells him that she'll pack him a lunch and a box of bullets, and he'll be fine. Eric tells Red that he could use the Pinciotti's cabin; Red is shocked that Bob has a hunting cabin, and says that it's unfair. Kitty tells him to just ask Bob if he can use the cabin; Red goes over to the phone, saying that it will be just the guys; he calls Bob. Eric tells Kitty that he doesn't want to go hunting, and says that Red doesn't like him. Hyde says that he can't go because he doesn't have a gun; his mother took his when she left. Kitty tells them that they can share, and there's just something about guns that makes people want to share. Eric reluctantly says that he'll go. Red finishes his call and says that it's all set, they're going hunting... with Bob. Kitty tells him that maybe he'll cheer up after he shoots something, and Red says that he always does. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: Kelso jumps up towards the camera.] In the Vista Cruiser, Kelso points his gun out the window and says he's going to shoot a deer if he sees it on the side of the road. Red tells him that he'll kick his ass if he shoots the gun in the car. Eric tries to take the gun from Kelso; Kelso claims that he has the right to bear arms, as it's in the Constitution. Fez tells him that not everything in the Constitution makes sense; Red angrily asks what he just said, and then says that foreigners don't understand anything; Bob agrees with him. In the Forman kitchen, Kitty, Donna, Midge and Jackie stand around and wonder what they're going to do. Donna tells Kitty that she's not going to bake anything; Kitty suggests that they could make Jell-o, but Donna says that's baking. Kitty points out that technically, it's not; it's boiling. [Scene change: Donna jumps up towards the camera.] In the Vista Cruiser, Hyde asks Red about the accident that he had while hunting, saying it sounds like a fun story. Kelso says that he wants to shoot a bear; Red tells him that he can't do that because it's not bear season, it's deer season and if he shoots a bear, he'll get fined. Kelso says that he'd just claim that it was self-defence and asks who the jury would believe, him or a dead bear? They guys all say "The dead bear." Bob tells them that he shot a bear once, and tells the story of how it happened, but says that he left the bear behind because it stunk so badly, then quickly adds that he meant that he left if behind because it was huge. In the Forman kitchen, Midge tells them that that is why she won't shave her legs until Bob shaves his back. Jackie comments that Donna is lucky because Eric's not hairy and never will be; Kitty comments that he didn't hit puberty until he was 15, then adds, laughing, that Eric wouldn't like it if he knew that she'd told Donna that. Midge starts to ask Donna if they've... Donna is horrified, but Jackie says no, they haven't. Kitty tells Donna that she's not so naive as to think... and Donna puts her hands over her ears. Midge says that maybe they could talk about... and Donna threatens to leave. Kitty comments that it's nice that Donna is spending time with her mother, because Laurie wouldn't do something like that. Jackie suggests playing poker, and says that she has lots of money, but she's never played before. Kitty likes the sound of that. At the cabin, Kelso is at the car when a deer comes out of the woods, and stands there. He looks for his gun, but can't find it at first, and then when he does, he can't get it out of the car. By the time he gets his gun, the deer is gone. Red comes out of the cabin and asks what Kelso is doing with the gun; Kelso says that he would have been standing over his kill if they hadn't taken his gun away. Bob tells him that he can't shoot his gun in the camp; Red points out that not every hunting accident is an 'accident.' Red tells them that he saw a deer blind on the way to the cabin, and asks who wants to go check it out with him; Hyde says that he doesn't want to go, he's not into hunting. Bob says that Fez went off into the woods as soon as they arrived, and had only a whistle and a stick; Bob thinks this is a crazy way to hunt. Fez comes out of the woods carrying two dead birds, already plucked, and tells them that he's got lunch. In the cabin, in the circle, Fez says that the birds were good and offers the guys a key chain made of the bird's claw; Hyde is impressed that Fez got them; Kelso says that hunting with a whistle and a stick is a good idea because even if you don't get anything, you still have the whistle and the stick; Bob takes the key chain from Fez, saying that he'll give it to Midge. Fez comments that Midge is nice, and Hyde agrees, and then Kelso says, yeah, she has nice jugs. Bob asks him what he said, and they go back and forth with each one saying "What?" Hyde comments that he's at one with nature, and then thanks Fez for the pheasant,; Fez comments on the beautiful black pheasants that they had. Bob tells him that pheasants aren't black; Kelso wishes that Jackie were black; Hyde tells Fez that they've just eaten crow and that's bad ju-ju, because it means that they've eaten someone's soul. Kelso looks down and says that he's found his gun, and as he looks around the circle, no one is there. He tells the empty circle that it's probably not loaded. [Scene change: Jackie dances on the screen.] In the Forman kitchen, Laurie looks over Kitty's poker hand and comments that Kitty is really not that good at poker. She says that she'll play, which surprises Kitty. Midge asks how many kings there are in a deck; Kitty tells her four, then adds that there are four queens as well, trying to distract her. Jackie looks at Kitty's hand, and then tells Donna that she'll take two cards, and wants two fives. Midge takes cards as well, and gets the five that Jackie wanted, so offers it to her. Jackie is upset that Donna gave Midge the card that she wanted; they play out the hand; Jackie doesn't win, but doesn't care, because she doesn't need the money; Kitty comments that that's nice for her... [Scene change: the four women at the table pose and turn into the picture of dogs playing poker.] At the deer blind, Eric tells Red that his pants are frozen to the blind; Red tells him to shut up and stop complaining, and says that this is just like the last time they went hunting, when Eric cried the whole time. Eric points out that he was six at the time, and Red made him touch a dead rabbit. Red tells him that he thought that if he touched it, he wouldn't be afraid of it; Eric says that he had nightmares afterwards, big, dead rabbit nightmares, where the rabbit was screaming at him. Red points to a deer, and aims the rifle at it, then tells Eric that he should shoot it. Eric doesn't want to shoot it, but reluctantly takes the gun, aims it; Red tells him not to shoot it in the face, and Eric fires... [Scene change: Eric jumps up and does karate moves.] At the deer blind, Red comments, "Look at him go... Man, you really stink." He then tells Eric that he thought it would be nice if Eric shot a deer, adding that he'd love to get one. Eric asks if he wants to get a deer, then why did he give the gun to him? Red asks Eric why he's always so nervous; Eric points out that Red has been yelling at him for seventeen years. Eric wants to go back to the cabin, but Red won't let him. They sit in silence for a few moments, then, to break the tension, Eric asks Red to tell him a war story; Red tells him about the time that he didn't miss that North Korean. In the Forman kitchen, Kitty is winning at poker; Midge comments that it was fun until Laurie started dealing. Donna asks if she's trying to say that Laurie is cheating, and Midge says yes, that is what she's saying. They storm out; Jackie thanks Kitty for a fun afternoon, and then storms out too. Kitty asks Laurie if she was cheating; Laurie tells her that no one can prove anything, then admits that she was, but she did it so that Kitty wouldn't lose all her mad-money and so that she'd have some fun. Laurie kisses Kitty on the cheek, and tells her that she loves her, then takes one of the bills from her hand and leaves. At the deer blind, Red is still telling Eric that he wouldn't have missed the deer, not when it was that close. Eric points to a can in the distance, and then shoots it; Red is shocked that Eric hit it. Eric tells him that he knows how to shoot, he just didn't want to kill the deer, and he missed on purpose. Eric tells Red that he didn't tell him this before because Red yells at him all the time, then adds that maybe Red didn't do that when he was a child, he doesn't really remember. Red says that Eric started getting lippy and twitchy when he was 13; Eric points out that lippy and twitchy go hand in hand. Red tells Eric to pretend that he's not his dad, and to say what he really thinks; Eric points out that he'd rather not do this when Red is holding a gun; he then tells Red that he thinks Red is angry all the time because life didn't turn out the way that he wanted it to, and he thinks that if he yells at Eric so that Eric won't let life push him around. Red decides that maybe Eric will be okay; then they see the deer again, and Eric says that the deer is magnificent, the king of the forest, beautiful; Red shoots and then says that he bets the deer will taste beautiful too, and reminds Eric that ~he's~ the king of the forest. [Scene change: Fez dances on the screen.] At the cabin, Red ties the deer to the car; Kelso complains about not having a gun, and that it could have been his deer they were tying to the car; Hyde points out that if Kelso had had a gun, it would probably be Fez that they'd be tying to the car. Hyde asks Red about the hunting accident again, and Red tells them that he was hunting with his friend Frank, who was a dumb-ass, and had been drinking; he shot a deer and was dancing around, then leaned down to kiss the deer, but it wasn't dead yet, and it kicked him in the neck, and killed him. Fez comments that the deer is staring at him and wants them to put sunglasses on it so it will stop. In the Forman kitchen, the family eats their venison dinner; Kitty comments that it's delicious, and then spits out some buckshot. Laurie comments that she likes it better when Red fishes. Red explains that there's buckshot in it because the deer was jerking around, so Eric had to shoot it with the shotgun. Eric says that he had to, because it was screaming. [End credits: In the Vista Cruiser, Kelso tells the guys that he killed a raccoon once, then adds that he hit it with his uncle's car. Red comments that they're all a bunch of killers. They sit in silence for a moment, then Fez tells them to open the window, the smell is terrible. Bob is the only one who doesn't go for a window...]