In the Vista Cruiser, Eric asks Donna if she heard that, then says that he thought it sounded like a bloody hook scraping against the back of the car. Donna is a million miles away; Eric asks what she's thinking about and she starts to complain about her parents, and the way that they're acting, saying that she gets so frustrated with the way that they're acting, and she'd just like to kick their asses. Eric tells her that if it will help, she can take his virginity, but she should be gentle. She laughs and asks if he really thought that would work; he jokingly tells her that it's her fault that he's still a virgin. Donna laughs and says that Eric always makes her feel better; she kisses him and says, "I love you." Eric's eyes bug out, and he sits there staring at her before finally saying, "I love cake."
[Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air.]
In the Forman driveway, Red picks up the newspaper, and as he walks by the Vista Cruiser, he says, "Morning, Bob." Bob sticks his head out of the back of the car, and asks if Red wants to know why he's there, but Red doesn't. Bob tells him that he and Midge had a fight, and he left, but forgot a few things, like his keys, his wallet and his blow dryer, and he now needs a place to stay, and he was thinking that he could stay with friends. He looks at Red meaningfully; Red tells him that they don't have a blow dryer, but Bob says that he's sure that Laurie does, because her Farrah Fawcett
hair just doesn't happen naturally. He tells Red that he only needs a corner, and Red relents. Bob says that Red is his best friend, but Red says, "No, I'm not."
[Scene change: Fez dances on the screen.]
On the Forman back porch, Fez asks Hyde about girl sleep-overs, wondering if they have pillow fights, and giggle, and then make out? Hyde says he hopes so. Jackie comes in and tells them that she has a new Kelso and steps aside to reveal Kelso in a black leather jacket. Kelso tells the guys that Jackie says it makes him look like Marlon Brando
in The Wild Ones
, but Hyde says that he looks like Fonzie (from Happy Days
.) Hyde and Fez both start laughing; Kelso asks Jackie if she dressed him like Fonzie and she says no, but then tells him that she likes Fonzie. Kelso asks for Fez's opinion; Fez says that he just wants Kelso to be happy, but then says that there's a gang of thugs taking over Arnold's, so help us! Kelso tells Hyde and Fez that they can both... and they finish with, "Sit on it?"
In the Forman kitchen, Kitty says Red why Bob is in the bathtub? She says that she thought that he went home, and Red says that he did, but Midge kicked him out so he's back. Kitty says that she doesn't want Bob in her bathtub because his afro gel will leave a ring, then admits that she's a bad person because she doesn't want Bob to stay in the house. Red tells her to talk to Midge and get her to take him back, but Kitty tells Red that since he let Bob in, he has to fix the problem. Red says that he'll talk to Midge in the morning; Kitty tells him that that's great, but now he has to scrub her bathtub; Red says no, and Kitty says that she's not going to do it, and they stare at each other, in a stand-off.
In the Forman basement, in the circle, Fez comments that it's brave of Kelso to come back after being kidded by everyone; Kelso, holding a pizza, says that he has pizza for his "friends" but not for people who make fun of him. Hyde tells Kelso that he has a thousand insults and pizza won't stop him from using them, but then Kelso waves a piece of pizza under his nose, and he changes his mind. Eric tells the guys about what happened with Donna, and how he said "I love cake," and the guys all stare at him in disbelief. He tells them that it just came out, and he doesn't know why. Fez says that cake is good, but Eric can't have sex with cake, then adds that Eric can't have sex with Donna either. Kelso tells Eric to just say "I love you," and he doesn't even have to mean it, but Hyde points out that Eric ~does~ love Donna; Eric asks if he admits that are they going to make fun of him? Fez says that love isn't a joke; Kelso's advice is that if Eric loves Donna he should dump her and live free. Hyde's advice is for Eric to say that he loves Donna and then she'll say it again, and everything will be okay. Eric, eating pizza, agrees that this is a good idea, then calls Kelso Fonzie.
[Scene change: Donna jumps in the air while Eric falls away from the camera.]
In the Vista Cruiser, Donna asks if Eric is okay, saying that he looks like he has a stomach ache; Eric says he's fine, then tells her that he loves her. Donna stares at him, and as the silence gets longer, Eric adds, "...Man!" and punches her on the shoulder. He then hangs his head down on the steering wheel, and Donna looks confused.
[Scene change: Jackie and Donna dance on the screen.]
In the Forman driveway, Donna tells Jackie what happened in the car when Eric said "I love you," and Jackie agrees that it's a disaster. Donna adds that Eric's been weird ever since she told him that she loved him; Jackie wants to know why Donna said that, adding that she's too young to be saying "I love you." Donna points out that Jackie says it to Kelso all the time, and Jackie's younger than Donna is, but Jackie just says, "Not in love years." Jackie then says that Eric doesn't know how to handle that kind of thing, and that Donna should just turn down the emotion and maybe he'll forget that she said it. Donna decides that this makes sense; Jackie tells Donna that the sooner that she realizes that Jackie is a genius, the better off they'll both be.
At the Pinciotti back door, Red knocks, and Midge answers, but says that she can't let him in because she doesn't want Bob to sneak back in. Red tells her to take Bob back, but she says no. They both start yelling at each other, and Midge closes the blinds on the window and walks away. Red pounds on the window and yells that this isn't over.
In the Forman basement, Eric tells Donna to watch, then throws a Fudgsicle in Kelso's direction; Kelso dives for it but misses. Donna and Jackie say that they have to leave; Eric asks if he'll see Donna later and she says no, never again; they leave. Hyde asks Eric what he did, and Eric insists that he did exactly what Hyde said, except maybe he might have popped her on the shoulder and called her "man." Fez calls him an idiot, and Fez says that it's their fault, because he did what Hyde said but Donna didn't say "I love you" back, she just stared at him. Hyde asks if Eric gave her time to answer; Eric says he waited for five minutes... or maybe just a few seconds, he isn't really sure because time stood still, and he was just hanging there. Eric asks how he can fix it; Kelso says that Eric shouldn't get freaked out about it, because he's a man, and should deal with problems in a manly way. Laurie comes downstairs, and Kelso runs over to her. She looks at him in his leather jacket, then turns to the guys and says, "Ayyyyyy!" and goes upstairs. Kelso takes off the jacket, throws it on the floor and jumps all over it; Eric comments that he thought they were supposed to handle their woman troubles in a manly fashion? Kelso tells them all to shut up, threatens to kick their asses if they laugh at him, grabs the Fudgsicle from Fez and storms out. Hyde says that the jacket is the best thing to happen to them.
In the Forman living room, Bob is asleep in Red's chair, Kitty yells "Bob!" in his ear to wake him up. Red sits down and tells Bob that it was a no-go with Midge and she doesn't want to see him. Bob says that it's just him and Red now; Red tells him no, that's the problem, he likes Bob, but he's an ass. Red says that they have to stop pussy-footing around and get him back into the house.
At the Pinciotti back door, Red knocks on the door; Midge comes to the window and he tells her that he's just going to trim some branches off the tree. Midge says fine and closes the blinds; Red runs off to the side of the house and comes back carrying a big branch. He lies down on the ground, puts the branch over top of himself and starts shouting for help. Midge comes out to help him, and when she's beside him, Red sits up and yells, "Go, Bob, go!" Bob runs into the house; Midge tells Red that what he did wasn't nice; Red tells her that he's not sorry. Midge goes into the house and slams the door behind her.
In the Forman driveway, Eric and Donna are playing basketball; Eric keeps telling Donna that he loves her, adding it on to every sentence that he says. She calls him a dork; he agrees, saying, "I'm a dork, and I love you." Donna tells him that she said that she loves him because she meant it, and not just to get him to say it back, and that if she'd known that he was going to get in such a twist about it, she wouldn't have said it. Eric admits that the cake-thing was stupid; she asks why he said that he loved her, and he tells her that he just thought that if they broke up, what would he tell himself? Donna tells him that he still has cake, and they know how much that means to him; she then suggests that they just pretend that the whole thing never happened, and Eric agrees to this.
[Scene change: Donna struts across the screen, Eric slides behind her.]
In the Forman driveway, Bob tells Red and Kitty that he and Midge worked things out, and that they're separating. Red says that Bob can't stay with them, but Bob says that he's staying in the house; he and Midge will live together but date other people. Red tells him that he can't say for sure, but this could lead to problems, and he thinks that Bob should think about it. Bob says that he has, and he thinks it will be sexy.
In the Forman basement, Hyde comes out of his room wearing the leather jacket. Donna tells him that he looks like Brando; Laurie asks him when he got so hot. Hyde tells her that he was always hot, the jacket just brings it out. Kelso tells him that he wants the jacket back, and the two of them start to fight over the jacket.
On the hood of the Vista Cruiser, Donna tells Eric that her parents are separating, but still going to live in the same house, and says that it's the dumbest idea she's ever heard of, and wonders how it is supposed to work. Eric suggests that it could work out okay, just like the time that the Skipper and Gilligan (from Gilligan's Island
) had the fight and drew a chalk line down the middle of the hut. Donna laughs; Eric tells her that he loves her, and she says that she loves him too. They kiss.
[End credits: In the Forman kitchen, Kitty puts out cleaning products; Red asks if she's going to clean the bathtub, then says that it's too horrible, and he can't let her do that. He takes the cleaners and opens the door to the living room and calls, "Eric! I've got a little job for you!"]