The music used in this episode was:
Let's Get It On (1973) by Marvin Gaye.
Eric: Well this couldn't be any more uncomfortable.
Kitty: Don't forget your condoms.
Eric: I was wrong!
Thomas: Oh, the football team loves me. I'm their new placekicker!
Fez: What? Oh, the room is spinning! How did you do all this?
Thomas: I have delightful accent!
Fez: So do I!
Thomas: Yes, but a nerd with an accent is still a nerd. Now, good day, sir.
Fez: Oh! I say "good day." Now good day.
Thomas: Good day.
Fez: Good day.
Fez and Thomas: I said good day!
Eric: This is freaky, man. Red hasn't said anything about the stash, which can only mean he's gone to the much feared stage beyond yelling. He's gone Darth Vader, man.
Thomas: So, where's Lake Dillhole?
Fez: Oh, it's right there. Behind the Get Bent Memorial. So get bent, dillhole!
Jackie: Look, Michael, the only reason I have this job is so that you and I can be together. All you've done for our love is sit in the basement, eating Fritos.
Kelso: Well, for your information, if I send in 80 empty Frito bags, I get a free remote-control car... which I was gonna give to you after I played with it only a little. Now that is love!
Hyde: I'm gonna need you to hide my stash.
Eric: Sure. I'll put it in my dresser, under my Hong-kungfu-ish socks. He can protect anything because he's faster than the human eye.
Fez: What you crazy? That's Nicole Masso. She's way out of our league.
Thomas: Oh, then we must be in different leagues. Because I just had sex with her last night.
Hyde: Ho, ho, ho... New foreign guy: uno, old foreign guy: nada.
Kitty: Here honey, I brought you something back from the hospital. A lollipop.
Eric: Mom, I'm seventeen years old.
Kitty: Which is why I also brought you... condoms.
Jackie: Try the Swiss, you can't miss! Try the Cheddar, it's even better!
Hyde: The floor's real shiny, and I see your hiney!
Jackie: Michael, money doesn't grow on trees. (shocked) Money doesn't grow on trees!
Fez: That Thomas is shady. But have you noticed he never says what country he's from.
Hyde: What country are you from?
Fez: What country are you from?
Fez: Fine, mystery solved!
Jackie (to Kelso): My dad thinks you're a bad influence on me, so I kept our love a secret and now I have to decide between you and money.
Eric (to Donna): Gosh, it's like Sophie's Choice for morons.
Eric: Leggo my Egg-o.
"Leggo my Egg-o" was the advertising slogan for Kellogg's Egg-O Frozen Waffles.
Hyde: Not only is that the worst idea I've ever heard, it was the worst moment in television history.
Fez: Yeah, you're right; I stopped watching after that episode.
Fez and Hyde are discussing the season 5 episode of Happy Days in which Fonzie jumps a caged shark. The episode is widely agreed to be one of the low moments in television history, and also the point where Happy Days began to go downhill. The term "Jump The Shark" has come to signify that: when a program loses its way and begins doing crazy stunts simply to get ratings. There is a website dedicated to identifying these moments: jumptheshark.com.