That '70s Show

Season 4 Episode 19

Jackie's Cheese Squeeze

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 26, 2002 on FOX

Episode Recap

At the Cheese Shop, Todd is sweeping up; Jackie comes in to use the phone; she tells him that Kelso didn't show to pick her up. Todd says that it's the third time this week. Jackie corrects him, saying that it 's the fourth time, actually. Todd says she needs to cheer up and gives her a hug, then they kiss. Eric walks in and sees them, and comments that he's glad that he went shopping today.

[Opening credits.]

[Scene change: Jackie jumps up towards the camera.]

At the Cheese Shop, Jackie tells Todd to run, and he does. She tries to distract Eric by complimenting his haircut, saying he looks just like Parker Stevenson. She asks him to not tell Kelso what he ~thinks~ he just saw. Eric suggests that he could torture her, then offers a deal - she could carve a block of cheddar into his likeness.

In the Forman driveway, Kitty comes out to get Red for dinner - he's cleaning bird crap off the car before it oxidizes. He says he can't put the car in the garage because then he won't be able to see it from the dinner table.

In the Forman kitchen, Kitty sits down with Bob and Joanne for dinner, telling them that Red can't tear himself away from his car. Joanne tells her she's going to become a Corvette widow. Kitty says Red deserves the car, because he so rarely buys anything for himself. Joanne says she knows what she's talking about, because her ex-husband made her a boat-widow, so she divorced him and took the boat.

[Scene change: Eric jumps up and plays air guitar.]

In the Forman basement, Eric tells Donna that he saw Jackie making out with the guy from the Cheese Shop, but tells her not to tell. Then cut to: Eric tells Fez, and then also tells Hyde, but swears them to secrecy too, telling each one that they're the only person he's told.

[Scene change: Red looms towards the camera.]

In the Forman kitchen, Red comes in but dinner is over; kitty tells him about the Corvette widow comment; Red just says he wouldn't leave her because who'd cook dinner? She tells him to prove Joanne wrong; Red says he'll do that by taking her out on a special date... soon... tomorrow.

In the Forman basement, Jackie comes in, and Donna, Hyde and Fez all say "hi Jackie!" then look at each other, puzzled. Jackie says she's just there to get Kelso; Eric tells her to stay here and fool around, since they all know how much she likes to fool around. Kelso wants to stay; Hyde, Fez and Donna all laugh then ask each other what they're laughing at. Eric keeps making double-edged comments about Jackie about how much she gets around and how she cheats. Kelso misses the meaning of the comments, but Jackie is getting nervous.

At the Auto Show, Kitty's upset that this is their special date, and she doesn't like it. Red tells her that it's special because she's the only woman there, calling her the Queen of the Auto Show. He says that they should share interests, so she asks him to teach her about cars. He sees a car that he's interested in and asks her to wait at the Corvette to guard it while he looks at the other car, then leaves her there, alone.

In the Forman kitchen, Jackie comes in and Eric asks her to scratch his back. She tries to explain about what happened, saying that it was a terrible mistake, and asking for compassion from him. Eric gives her his shoes to shine; Jackie says no. She tells him that since he knew and didn't tell Kelso, that's worse than what she did, adding that girlfriends are supposed to lie, but best friends are supposed to be loyal. She says she's going to tell Kelso everything, and Eric realizes that the whole thing has blown up in his face.

[Scene change: Jackie jumping up towards the camera.]

In the Forman kitchen, Jackie says Kelso will forget all about what she did when she tells him what Eric did. Eric says not if he tells Kelso first, and they race for the basement

In the Forman basement, Jackie runs in through the back door, Eric comes down the stairs, but Kelso's not there. They race out to ...

In the Forman driveway, Jackie opens the door to Kelso's van, but Eric's already sitting in there, and Kelso's not there. They race off to ...

At the Mall, at the Cheese Shop, but Kelso's not there. Jackie tells Todd that he's going to have to get over her, and asks him not to fire her.

[Scene change: Jackie dances towards the camera.]

At The Hub, Jackie and Kelso are sitting at a table; Eric comes in and tries to talk to Kelso , but he leaves, and won't talk to either one of them. Eric asks Jackie if Kelso's mad at him, but Jackie says he's mad at her and wouldn't even talk about Eric. Eric feels bad for her, and tells her to explain to Kelso the way that she did to him, and suggests that they wait for Kelso in the basement, adding that Kelso will have to come by sometime, since he left his bouncy ball there. She's happy, and Eric says she has to promise not to tell anyone that he's being nice to her.

In the Forman basement, in the circle, Kelso tells the Hyde, Donna and Fez that Jackie cheated on him with the Cheese Guy. Hyde pretends to be shocked. Fez says all she did was kiss him; Donna asks how he knows that. Kelso says the Cheese Guy is lucky he's little, or else he'd kick his ass. Hyde says Kelso should do that anyway.

At the Auto Show, Kitty is sitting in the car, bored. Red comes up with a pastry for her. She tells him that some guy tried to pick her up. Red gives her the funnel cake, then tells her that she can't eat it in the car. Another guy comes over and says that Red should see his Corvette - it cost him 3 grand and a marriage. Red goes off to look at the car; Kitty sprinkles sugar from the funnel cake all over the interior of the Corvette.

[Scene change: Eric and Hyde's faces in boxes as Kelso walks by.]

At the Cheese Shop, Kelso tells Todd that he's going to beat him up for kissing Jackie; Hyde Fez and Donna are there, watching. Todd tells Kelso that he should pay more attention to Jackie, and not so much attention to his modelling gig. Kelso punches Todd, but it didn't hurt him at all. He grabs a board to protect himself, and Todd breaks it with one punch, telling them that he's a black-belt in karate.

In the Forman driveway, Red says he'll have to spend half the night cleaning the car. Kelso comes in and needs ice for his black eye. Kitty tells him that she's not doing anything else for men today, and that Kelso should just go away. Kelso says he won't go away, because he's having a bad day and he needs someone to take care of him. Kitty looks at Red and comments that Michael ignored Jackie and she kissed another boy! Red tries to say it's different, but knows that it isn't. He tells her that he'll do something that she likes; she tells him that there's a knitting circle at the church right now, and they head off to that.

In the Forman basement, Eric asks Donna, Hyde and Fez what happened at the Cheese Shop and they tell him about the fight. Kelso comes in and says that Jackie cheated on him; she points out that he used to cheat on her all the time. She says that she did it because he's been ignoring her. Kelso tells her that he's very angry and doesn't know what to do about that. Jackie points out that Eric knew all along and didn't tell him, Kelso chases Eric out of the basement. Fez admits to Hyde and Donna that he knew about the kiss all along; Donna says that Eric said she was the only one he told. Hyde and Fez both say "me too!" Eric comes in and tries to tell them about Kelso getting his foot stuck in a gopher hole, but Donna, Fez and Hyde are all angry with him for lying to them, and they chase him upstairs.

[End credits: In the Forman driveway, Bob, Hyde, Red and Eric all look at the Corvette, and talk about it, admiring the chrome detailing on it. Kitty walks by and says, "men and cars...never got it, never will," and goes into the house.]