At The Hub, Jackie comes in and sits at the table with Hyde and Fez; she tells Hyde that she almost didn't recognize him without a stripper hanging off of him and he comments on how he did recognize her because she's jobless and alone. Fez wants them to say something mean about him, so Hyde calls him fat and stupid. Randy and Donna come in; Jackie is surprised to see Donna there, because she called Donna earlier and Donna said that she was staying in all afternoon; Fez adds that yesterday, when he went to spy on her, she was out with Randy then too. Jackie thinks that there's something going on between Donna and Randy; Hyde doesn't care what's going on with Donna and Randy; he calls Jackie and Fez immature, then leaves to drive through puddles and splash old people. Randy and Donna come over and sit down; Randy tells them that he and Donna just saw Rocky II
and it was great. Fez asks if Eric knows that Donna asked out another guy; Randy quickly tells them that Donna didn't ask him, he asked her, and then tells them about winning the tickets at a radio station. The counter guy calls out that the fries are ready for Donna and Randy; they go to get them, and as soon as they're gone, Jackie comments that they changed the subject quickly when they mentioned Eric, and then concludes that Donna is cheating on Eric.
[Opening credits: The same opening credits as have been used since Episode 2 of this season, only Kitty has her new hair style.]
[Scene change: Red looms towards the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Red comes in with a letter that he got inviting him to the Veterans' Reunion. He tells Kitty that this year is special because his main rival is now dead, and this means that he'll be the most decorated person there, and everyone will buy him drinks. Kitty comments that she should have been in the army, since they're always having cocktails. Bob comes in and tells them that he was invited to the Veterans' Reunion as well. Red says that he didn't know that they invited National Guardsmen to the Reunion, and Bob says that they didn't, until he wrote enough angry letters to them that they changed their policy. He sits down and tells Red that he signed him up to find a photographer for the event; Hyde suggests that Red use Leo, as he took all of Hyde's fake ID photos and did a great job. Kitty points out that Leo took wonderful pictures at Bob and Midge's second wedding (Season 2, Episode 16, The First Time
), and even got one of Red smiling. Hyde tells Red that if he wants to ask Leo, he's in the basement. Red wants to know what Leo's doing in the basement; Hyde claims that he doesn't know, but Red should give him 15 minutes before coming down.
[Scene change: Fez dances on screen, with Hyde and Randy dancing in the background.]
In the Forman basement, Red asks Leo how much he charges; Leo says $100, and Hyde offers him $75, so Leo tells Red that $50 is his final offer. Hyde tells Red that if he bargains with Leo later on, he can probably make a few bucks. Red agrees to hire Leo, but tells him that he has to clean up and look nice, because the Veterans deserve his respect. Leo assures Red that he's cool with Veterans... he really admires anyone who can put a cast on a dog.
[Scene change: Leo and Hyde peer at the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Randy comes in looking for Donna, saying that he was supposed to hang out with her today; Jackie and Fez say they'll tell her he's waiting for her. After Randy leaves, Fez tells Jackie that "hang out" means "have sex," it's a sexual innuendo. Jackie says that she feels bad for Eric, adding that she felt terrible when Kelso cheated on her. Kitty comes in and Fez tries to get some advice on what they should do, telling her that he has a friend whose girlfriend is cheating on him. Kitty tells them about a couple that she knew, and she thought that the wife was cheating, so she rifled through the woman's purse and found out it was true. Fez asks if she told the husband; she says she didn't but she wishes she had, because then they might not have broken up. She goes out and Jackie tells Fez that they have to write Eric a letter about what's going on.
[Scene change: Jackie blows a kiss at the camera.]
In the Veterans' Hall, Leo comes in dressed the way he usually does; Red tells him that he was supposed to clean up and Leo tells him that he did; his apartment is spotless. Red says that Leo should get lots of shots of patriotic men kissing his ass; they go in to the room where the reunion is, and one of the Veterans looks over and says, "It's Leonard!" They all crowd around Leo and shake his hand. The Veteran says that Leo drove a supply truck during WWII; Red is shocked, and says that he didn't know that about Leo. Leo replies that there's lots that Red doesn't know about him.
[Scene change: Fez twirls around and looks up at the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Fez comments that it's been two weeks since they sent the letter, and shouldn't Eric be home by now? Jackie figures out how long it would take for the letter to get to Africa, and then for Eric to not know what to do about it, then decide to come home, and decides that he should be there by now. Donna and Hyde come in; Hyde comments that Sam is still in Las Vegas at a convention; Fez asks Donna if she's heard anything from Eric. Donna says that she hasn't heard anything from him in a while. Hyde, looking at the newspaper, tells Fez that there's a story there about a guy who got punched for sticking his nose where it didn't belong, then punches Fez. Jackie asks if Donna has any relationship news to tell them; Donna says that she doesn't want to talk about it. Jackie says that if she doesn't want to talk about it, then that means that there's something to talk about, and wants her to spill it, and Jackie asks when Eric is coming home? Donna tells them that he's not coming home, and that he broke up with her.
[Scene change: Hyde jumps towards the camera.]
In the Forman basement, Hyde asks if Fez and Jackie are to blame for what happened; Fez tries to think of someone else to blame, but can't come up with anything. Jackie tells him that all they did was write a letter to Eric telling him about Donna and Randy. Hyde starts hitting both of them with a magazine, and tells them that they have to tell Donna what they did. Jackie doesn't want to, but Hyde tells them that they're going to, and he's going to go with them, not to protect them, but just to watch.
In the Veterans' Hall, the men are taking pictures of themselves with Leo. Bob tells Red that it was supposed to be his special night, and that they should be the ones getting free drinks. Red asks Leo what he did in the war besides drive a supply truck; Leo is embarrassed to talk about it, then admits that he peed on Jane Fonda. The Vet standing next to him says that Leo drove his truck into a German formation and rescued an entire platoon, and got a medal for it. Leo can't remember what medal it was, but it was shaped like a purple heart. Red is impressed and offers to buy Leo a drink; Leo tells Red that he'd like to buy him a drink, and Bob adds that he'd like a drink. Red tells Bob that this round is for people who actually defended Uncle Sam; Leo says no, it's okay and Bob should have a drink too, then orders a Shirley Temple for him.
[Scene change: Donna peers at the camera.]
At The Hub, Hyde, Jackie and Fez come in; Hyde tells Donna that Jackie and Fez have something to tell her. Jackie says that Fez has something to tell her. Fez admits that he and Jackie are the reason that Eric broke up with her because they wrote a letter to him saying that she was cheating on him with Randy. Randy tells them that he and Donna are just friends, and Donna asks them why they would think that she was cheating. She explains that Randy was the only one that she felt she could talk to when Eric broke up with her, and it wasn't like she went looking for him, he was just there, and she adds that this was three
weeks ago, when Eric broke up with her. Jackie and Fez are relieved to hear that they aren't the ones responsible for the break up. They ask her why she didn't tell anyone, and Donna tells them that she knew if she told them, Fez would hit on her, Jackie would hurt her by trying to be nice, and Hyde would just shrug; she adds that Randy was nice to her and listened. Jackie hugs her, and Fez says that he can't believe that Eric and Donna broke up; he thought they'd live happily ever after, like Romeo and Juliet. Jackie admits that she shouldn't have accused Donna of cheating; Fez apologizes to Randy, and Randy starts to tickle him, saying that he heard that it makes Fez pee himself.
In the Forman kitchen, Kitty is surprised to find out that Leo was in the army, and says that she can't picture him shining his shoes, or even finding them. Leo comments that he fought for his country, and has the scars to show for it; Red says that he does too, and shows a shrapnel scar on his arm that he got in Guadalcanal, and Leo shows Kitty the scar on his forehead. Kitty looks closely but doesn't see anything, and Leo admits that they were more emotional scars. Red asks how Leo turned into a hippy degenerate, and Leo tells them that it all happened when he got back to the States after the war... Leo and his buddy come out onto the street, and his buddy asks what Leo's going to do now that the war is over. Leo says that he's going to work in his dad's pharmacy for a while, then go to medical school. His buddy goes off, and as Leo turns to go off, a car pulls up, filled with jazz musicians, who offer him a ride. Leo comments that the smoke coming from the inside of the car smells kind of funny, and the musician tells him that he'll get used to it...
Leo says that that's the last thing he remembers until Kitty gave his this cup of coffee.
[Scene change: Randy and Donna's faces in close up shots.]
In Donna's bedroom, Hyde comes in and tells her that he brought her something to cheer her up: a picture of Eric, and a lighter. She laughs and says that she'll burn it later. Hyde tells her that he doesn't know what to say; she tells him that it's not really a big surprise, and that Eric wrote to her to say that he felt like they were growing apart, so they should move on with their lives. She says that she'll be alright; Hyde tells her that if she needs him, she knows where he is, and then leaves. Fez opens the closet door, and also tells her that if she needs anything from him, she knows where he is too, then closes the closet door.
[End credits: In the Forman kitchen, Fez sits at the table and writes a letter to Eric, telling him that he and he'll never do that again. Kitty and Leo come in; Kitty tells Leo that it was nice having him over, and Leo says that he remembers where he lives. Kitty hugs him and he goes out; Kitty goes into the living room. Fez immediately begins writing again, telling Eric that he has some horrible news about Kitty and Leo.]