That '70s Show

Season 8 Episode 4


Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Nov 16, 2005 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman living room, Red thanks everyone for celebrating their 25th anniversary, even though they're all a bunch of people that he doesn't really like. When he finishes, Kelso says it's his turn, and tells everyone that Red and Kitty's long and happy marriage made him think of his future, and so in front of everyone he wants to ask the woman that he loves a question. He goes down on one knee, and asks Jackie to marry him. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: Jackie struts towards the camera.] Two Days Before Kelso Proposed: In the Forman basement, Red comes down and Fez comments that Kitty is beautiful, and Red threatens him, then kisses Kitty. Randy comments that they seem really happy; Kitty says it's their anniversary coming up and that she's having a surprise party but not to tell Red. Randy opens his soda and wins another free Pepsi; Fez is upset because he never wins anything. Sam comes out in a Jeannie costume and wants to know which costume the guys like better, this one or the slutty stewardess? Hyde tells her that if she's going to do this she has to charge. Kelso wonders why everyone is happy except him, adding that all he has is a little plastic dinosaur. He starts to play with it, and is momentarily happy. Kelso says that the happiest time of his life was when he was with Jackie, and that he was really in love with her, and they both blew it. Randy comments that it sounds like an on-again off-again relationship. Kelso says that he should be with Jackie and marry her. Fez is excited and explains he loves weddings. [Scene change: Fez jumping up towards the camera.] In the Pinciotti kitchen, Donna comes in and asks Bob why he's up at 4 a.m. She tells him that she's waiting for Eric to call from Africa; Bob leaves to give her some privacy... later, in the morning, he comes in and Donna's asleep on the table. She tells him that Eric never called. Bob says Eric's fine or dead, one or the other. [Scene change: Donna struts towards the camera.] In Fez's apartment, Donna tells Jackie that Eric never called, but that he called Kitty; Jackie isn't surprised that he's a momma's boy. Fez comes in and tells them that he knows a secret and they'll never get it out of him, but then immediately tells them that Kelso's going to ask Jackie to marry him. Donna says it's the dumbest thing Kelso's ever done; Jackie says that it makes total sense, and she doesn't really have anything going on in her life anyway. She says that while she and Kelso have had problems, getting married will fix everything. [Scene change: Fez dances towards the camera.] The Morning Of The Party: In the Forman basement, Kelso comes in and tells the guys that he's going to be a security guard at the Playboy club in Chicago; last week when he was there visiting Betsy, he stopped in and when the guards were kicking him out, he thought that he could do that. He tells them about it, he's in the office with Vic interviewing him, explaining what they do at the club. Vic says that their job is to keep the girls safe, and then peeks through a hole in the wall at the girls. Vic says he heard that Kelso used to be a cop. Vic asks if he's married when Kelso mentions his daughter, and they discover that they both got a girl pregnant. Vic offers him some hot salsa, and it's really hot. Vic says it's really hot when you get sweaty under here and lifts his toupee, and wants Kelso to touch his head...... Kelso tells the guys that Vic just called and offered him the job. He says that he was lost and was looking for direction and that's why he was going to ask Jackie to marry him, and for once he didn't just blurt something out and ruin everything. Fez admits that he told Jackie and she's thrilled, so now Kelso has a problem. [Scene change: Fez and Kelso are on swings.] In the Forman basement, Kelso is shocked that Fez told Jackie; Hyde asks, "Who gets married on a whim anyway?", and Fez points out that he did. Kelso says that he loves Jackie and they're going to be together but not yet. Fez says he has to strike while Jackie is messed up and that won't last. Hyde points out that Kelso can't run away now, and if he doesn't propose, Jackie will hate him forever. So Kelso decides that he'll ask her to marry him. In Donna's bedroom, Donna tells Jackie that she can't marry Kelso, and wants her to picture her life...Kelso comes home and tells Jackie that he had another affair, and she yells at him. She asks about the groceries, and he has a box of puppies instead. She tells him that she had dreams of a career and a husband that didn't have a girlfriend, and Kelso's response is to pants her. He then runs into the other room where the kids are, asking them if they want to jump off the roof with him. Donna says that that will be her life, but Jackie doesn't care. [Scene change: Jackie twirls around and looks up at the camera.] The Afternoon Of The Party: In the Forman kitchen, Red comes in and asks Kitty what all the food is for, so Kitty tells him that she's having a party. He says he was going to take her to a boat show, but she won't go. He just wants to get her into the car, and finally admits that he got the same room at the Starlight Motel, where they went between their wedding ceremony and the reception. Kitty is impressed that he got the same cheap motel room for them, and thinks it's romantic. At The Party: In the Forman living room, Kelso can't believe that Red and Kitty are late. Red and Kitty come in and look dishevelled and are surprised that everyone is there. Kitty left her watch behind, Red says they were at the ice store, and that they were out of ice. The phone rings and Hyde answers; it's the Starlight Motel, and they found Kitty's watch in the Aphrodite Room. Bob is impressed. The phone rings again, and Kitty grabs it and says keep the damn watch, but it's Eric. Kitty gives the phone to Donna, but it's a short conversation; she hangs up and says that Eric had to go teach. She goes to the kitchen to get a beer. Bob comments to Red that it sounds like Red and Kitty Aphrodid-it. In the Forman kitchen, Randy comes in and asks if Donna is okay, she says yes. He opens his beer, and wins a free six-pack. In the Forman living room, Kelso makes his speech about thinking of his future, and when he asks Jackie to marry him, she says no. Fez is shocked; Kelso is shocked as well, then says that she's just made him the happiest man in the world. He admits that he loves her and all, but this was the worst idea ever. Jackie agrees that if they got married, it would be a disaster. Kelso says his life is taking off and he's moving to Chicago; and to celebrate, he's going to jump off roof. [Scene change: Kelso struts towards the camera.] In the Forman basement, in the circle, Kelso finally gets why they call it a circle. Jackie says she'll always remember the first guy who kissed her; Donna will miss him grabbing her boobs; Fez says he'll do that for Kelso; Hyde says it's weird, and he always imagined their last moment would be Kelso strapped to a rocket spinning around. Kelso says that this has been the best time of his life and he'll love them forever, then says that it's time to go. He leaves. They're all sad, and the camera pans around the circle for each one's reaction and then to the empty spot where Kelso was.... and Kelso jumps back in and says, "I'm not leaving 'til tomorrow! And you guys were cryin'! BURN!" [End credits: In the Forman basement, Fez opens a soda and is shocked because he finally won something. He dances around, and tells Randy that he won a bike, saying, "Read it and weep, loser!" Randy looks at it and says, "That expired yesterday."]