That '70s Show

Season 5 Episode 12

Misty Mountain Hop (a.k.a. Jackie's Cabin)

0
Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Jan 22, 2003 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman kitchen, Kitty gives Red his breakfast; Jackie compliments the bacon, and Red wants to know why she's there. Kitty says that Jackie's mother is in Mexico and her father is in prison, so she has nowhere to go. Eric asks if a briber shouldn't be able to bribe his way out of prison? Jackie says he can't because he's broke, in fact, she has to move everything out of the ski cabin this weekend. Red says that he'd like to help, but not as much as he doesn't want to help; but Kitty has already packed a bag for him. Red tells Eric that he's coming too, and he should bring Donna because there'll be some heavy lifting. Eric wants to know why Hyde's not coming, and Jackie tells him that the best way to keep a relationship working is to not tell Hyde everything, so she's told him that she's going to a doll expo this weekend.



At the DMV, Hyde asks Fez if he's doing anything this weekend, and tells him that Jackie's going to be busy. He suggests that they sneak up to her parents' ski cabin and drink beer all weekend. Fez serves a customer and fails him on the eye test; the guy recognizes Fez as the student who got caught in the school shower with the lotion and the Playboy, so Fez passes him and says "Next!"



[no opening credits, cast names were shown during the opening sequence.]



[Scene change: Eric does push ups on the screen while Red looms over him.]



In the Forman driveway, Red tells Eric to stay with him, then not to follow too close, then not to lollygag... Eric just smiles and nods. Donna tells Eric that she's looking forward to the road trip, as they'll have somewhere new to fool around.



At the cabin, Hyde, Kelso, and Fez are there; Fez says that it's a good chance to relax; Kelso says that he hid a stash the last time that he was there, and it was someplace he could fit his hand. Hyde tells him that that rules out his face; Kelso is confused and holds his hand up in front of his face, and Hyde slaps Kelso's hand into his face.



In the Vista Cruiser, Donna kisses Eric; Eric notices that the truck in front of them isn't the one that it was before and they're lost. Donna checks the directions that Jackie wrote, but they're not very good at all, and they don't know where they are, or where they're supposed to go.



At the cabin, Kelso looks for the stash, but can't find anything that he could fit his hand into. Fez heads out to buy some beer. Kelso wonders where the stash is and finds it in a boar's head hanging on the wall, and realizes that it wasn't in something he could fit his hand into, but something that could eat his hand. Hyde looks out the window and sees a truck pull in; it's Red, Kitty and Jackie. He and Kelso throw the stash back and forth, not wanting to be the one holding it when they come in.



In the Vista Cruiser, Donna is still reading the directions and trying to figure them out. She says that they just need to find their bearings, and Eric blames her for making him get lost because of her insatiable urges. He's hungry and wants his Twinkie, but Donna eats it.



At the cabin, Kelso says Jackie and the Formans are there, and they're busted, Hyde says he's going out the bathroom window; Kelso sticks the stash in a vase and his hand gets stuck. Red and Kitty come in and are scared, thinking that there are burglars there. Kitty has to go to the bathroom; when she opens the door, Hyde comes out and says that there's no window in the bathroom. Jackie wants to know what Hyde is doing there, and thinks that he knew about the foreclosure, and he came up to help her. Hyde tells her that she's right; she says that he's become the boyfriend she always hoped he would be. Fez comes in with beer and wants to start the party, then sees Red and Kitty. Jackie, realizing that Hyde wasn't telling the truth, is upset.



[Scene change: a shot from below as Hyde, Fez and Kelso walk across the screen.]



At the cabin, Kitty wants to know why they need alcohol; Red says that if they hurry in clearing out the cabin, they won't have to sleep there. Jackie tells Hyde that she thought that he finally knew what being a couple was all about; he tells her that it's all Zen. Jackie leaves the room; Kelso wants Fez to pull the vase off his hand, but Fez just tells him that he left his baby oil in his other pants. Hyde tries to pull it off, then says it smells of chocolate; Kelso puts the vase up to his face to smell it, and Hyde hits him in the face with it. Red, carrying a TV out, wants to know what they're doing, and tells them to get the vase off Kelso's hand. Hyde tries to pull it off again, then comments that there's writing on the bottom. Kelso holds it up to read the writing, and Hyde hits him in the face with it again.



[Scene change: Jackie's face in a close up shot.]



At the cabin, Jackie tells Hyde to be careful with her 'Prettiest Ballerina' trophy, and comments that he doesn't care very much about her or her things. He tells her that she lied to him; she says that he should know what's going on with her, and he says that it's hard for him to know when she lies to him. She tells him that her family is falling apart, and he hasn't asked about it at all. She leaves, and Red, carrying another box out, tells Hyde that he's driving Jackie back home, because she talked too much on the drive up. Fez comes in with Kelso and says that Jackie looks mad; Kelso says she never looked that mad when he was dating her, even when he cheated on her. Red tells Kelso to grab the end of the sofa, but Kelso still has the vase on his hand, so can't. Red goes to get a hammer to break the vase off, and Kelso comments that his hand would come out if he didn't have to hold the stash. Fez and Hyde tell him to let go of the stash; he does and the vase falls off his hand and smashes on the floor. Hyde picks up the stash just as Red and Kitty come out of the other room; Red takes the bag, looks in it and asks what it is, and whose it is. Kelso claims that it's paprika; Kitty tells him that paprika is red. Hyde tells Kelso that he means oregano.



[Scene change: Red yells at the camera, while Kitty dances.]



In the Vista Cruiser, Donna and Eric are still lost. Eric apologizes for what he said about Donna's insatiable urges, then asks for an apology from Donna for eating his Twinkie. She apologizes, but rolls her eyes when she says sorry, so Eric says it doesn't count. They continue to argue.



At the cabin, Red yells at the guys, saying that they're all in trouble. Jackie comes in and wants to know what's going on; Kelso blames Hyde, saying that it's Hyde's stash. Red says that he's going to call Kelso's parents, Immigration, and then he tells Hyde that he's warned him about this before and so now he wants Hyde out of the house. Jackie says that it was her stash; that she was looking for anything that might make her feel better about her dad being in jail and compares it to Kitty drinking all that wine to help with menopause. Red wants to know if it's Hyde's; Hyde says it isn't. Red says he's throwing it away and Kelso says, "I paid 20 bucks for that!" They go out to the car, and Hyde tells Jackie that he doesn't understand why she did something nice for him when she's mad at him. She explains that that's what people do for people that they love; she knew that he was in trouble and so she looked for a way to help him. He points out that she had a bigger clue than he did, as Red said that he wanted Hyde out of the house, not that he wanted Hyde to go to a doll expo. Hyde thanks her, and they make up; Jackie asks him for help in moving one last thing - the mirror in the bathroom that covers the window.



In the Forman driveway, Eric and Donna are upset; he says he over-reacted a bit, and there's plenty of Twinkies in the world; he's sorry. Donna points out that it didn't even taste very good, and she thinks it was a knock-off; Eric tells her she's right, that his mom buys Twonkies. Eric points out that when they set out, they had a goal, and they should finish what they started; he suggests the kitchen table, and Donna agrees, saying that his parents won't be home until tomorrow morning. They go in the house; Fez, Kelso, Hyde, Jackie, Kitty, and Red come in. Red is angry that Eric didn't show up, and then blocked the driveway with the car. Kitty just wants to get into her nice quiet house, and opens the kitchen door. She stares in horror and shouts, "Oh my god!" They all look in; Hyde laughs at Donna's butt; Red is disgusted, and says, "Dammit! That's where I eat dinner!"



[End credits: In the Forman kitchen, Red and Kitty scrub the table; Kitty says that it's not strong enough, and Red tells her that they're using bleach and lighter fluid, and there's nothing stronger. They look at the table and Kitty says that it's no good; Red agrees and says that they're going to have to buy a new table.]
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