In the Forman basement, Fez counts licks to center of tootsie pop, then bites it and hurts his tooth; Red comes part-way downstairs and yells at Eric to get upstairs pronto, or else he'll be wearing his ass as a hat. Donna tells him that he'd better go, because the "ass-hat" really messes his hair up. Jackie comes in and insults Kelso, and reminds him that they're not together any more. Fez suggests that he could be Jackie's new lover; she looks at him and asks where Donna is. She goes upstairs to find Donna, and Kelso follows her to the stairs, but she yells at him to stop following her. Kelso claims that he wasn't following her, but after he sits down, he tells the gang that really misses Jackie and is lonely. Fez asks what Kelso misses about Jackie, since all she did was call him names, and then adds that he can do that, and calls Kelso, "You idiot!" Kelso thanks him.
[Scene change: Eric pounds on the screen.]
In Red's office at Price Mart, Eric moves boxes and whistles; Red tells him to stop, then tells him to bend his knees when he lifts, and Eric finishes the sentence for him, saying yeah, yeah, ass for a hat... Red tells Eric that he didn't think he was listening. Red tells him to put new price stickers on the clock radios, and Eric says that he's already done it as he saw the new price in the flyer; Red congratulates him for having good initiative. Eric immediately becomes suspicious that something is wrong with Red, and asks what he's up to? Earl comes running in to the office, apologizing for being late, and explains that his dog was hit by a car and he had to take it to the vets; Red points out that the dog was hit by a car earlier in the week as well. Earl apologizes and says that he knows that Red has already given him a break because they used to work together at the auto parts plant; Red tells Earl that he should be more like Eric, pointing out that Eric is only 18 (Eric interrupts to say that he's only 17, but Red tells him to be quiet), and he already has a better work ethic than Earl does. Red tells Earl to get to work; Earl says that he will as soon as he's had some coffee, because he's useless without coffee. He leaves, and Eric tells Red that Earl must not have had coffee in years; Red laughs and tells him that that was a good one, which makes Eric wonder what's going on with Red again.
In the Forman driveway, Kelso is shooting hoops by himself; Donna comes in and asks how he is; Kelso says that he's fine, he's not lonely at all, just because he's shooting hoops by himself. He then tells her that all this talk of being lonely reminds him of him; Donna asks if he's going to get all mushy, pointing out that just because she's a girl doesn't mean that she won't make fun of him. Kelso tells her that underneath his cool exterior, he's hurting. Donna realizes that he's talking about Jackie and tells him that he has to get it through his head that Jackie's not coming back to him. Kelso doesn't understand why not; Donna tells him it's because he slept with someone else. Kelso says that that was a month ago.
In the Forman basement, in the circle, Kelso says that he's just realized that Jackie is short; Fez says that she's a tiny little whore, then realizes that he's hurt himself by saying that because he loves her. Eric tells the guys that he cracked Red up at work today; Hyde asks if he hurt himself, but Eric says no, he told a joke and Red got it, then adds that it's great to see Red chew out other people. Hyde points out that now Eric knows how the rest of them feel when Red chews him out. Kelso laughs and agrees, then realizes that there are lots of ladies in the world that he hasn't seen naked; Fez agrees, and says that he gets exhausted when he thinks about all the naked ladies. Eric tells the guys about what happened with Earl at work, and tells them that Earl deflects Red's anger, saying that he's like a dumb-ass lightning rod. Hyde informs them that this is why he only works with the barely competent, as it causes him less stress in slacking off. Kelso tells the guys that the world is his oyster, and he's going to boldly go where no man has gone before.
In the Forman living room, the front doorbell rings. Kitty answers; Kelso is standing there, and asks if Laurie is home; Kitty wants to know why he's asking. Hyde comes up in behind Kitty and tells Kelso that Laurie isn't "new territory", and Kelso is boldly going where every man has gone before. Laurie comes downstairs and asks if the flowers are for her; Kelso says yes, and he bought them, just like she told him to. Laurie says that she told him to buy roses, but takes them; they leave together. Hyde tells Kitty that Kelso and Laurie together could make the dumbest babies, ever. Kitty laughs, then tells Hyde that it's not funny.
[Scene change: Kelso jumps towards the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, while eating dinner, Eric says, "Speaking of work..." Hyde points out that they weren't speaking of work, and Eric continues as if Hyde had said nothing, telling them what happened at work today. Red says that Eric is working hard; Kitty asks how Earl is, and Red says that he's not doing so well. Eric tells them about his coffee joke and Kitty laughs, telling him that it's a cute joke. Eric has more Earl jokes, which he tells, and Red says that "Earl" isn't short for "Early." Hyde starts to recite a limerick about Nantucket, but Kitty stops him.
[Scene change: Fez dances on the screen.]
In the Forman basement, the gang is watching TV; Laurie is there as well, brushing her hair; Eric comes up behind her and yells at her to get out. Laurie tells Kelso to come to her room to help her move her bookcase, then heads upstairs. Kelso tells the gang that "move a bookcase" is code for "have sex"; Hyde sarcastically says that it was a tough code to break. Eric asks Kelso what he's doing bringing Laurie to the basement; Kelso says that she's his girlfriend and he loves her; Donna tells him that he doesn't. Kelso changes it, saying that he likes her, and Hyde tells him that he doesn't. Kelso tells them that the line between 'like' and 'love' might be fine, but he's doing it, and the line between 'doing it' and 'not doing it' isn't fine; he adds that it took him months to get Jackie into bed, and now he's doing it with Laurie, and he's over at the Formans all the time anyway, so it's convenient. Laurie comes back downstairs and tells Kelso to hurry up, because her bookcase isn't going to move itself... or is it?
[Scene change: Hyde dances on the screen.]
On the Forman back porch, Donna tells Jackie that it's good to see her over Kelso, and that she's being like a rock. Jackie asks if Donna is trying to compliment her, or insult her butt? Donna tells her that Kelso is dating Laurie; Jackie gasps, but then says that it doesn't matter and she doesn't care, adding that she hates Laurie for making Kelso happy. Donna tells Jackie that she bets Laurie will make Kelso more miserable that Jackie ever did, which cheers Jackie up.
[Scene change: Jackie jumps up towards the camera.]
In the Forman kitchen, Kitty tells Laurie that she's stood by done nothing while Laurie has made some bad mistakes. The screen splits to the Forman basement, where Hyde sits beside Kelso on the sofa and tells him that he's enjoyed watching while Kelso has made some bad mistakes. Both Hyde and Kitty say that this last mistake is too much. Kitty tells Laurie that Kelso is a nice boy with some fine qualities; Hyde says that Laurie has a fine rack, but is a skankoid, and Kelso doesn't know where she's been. Kitty says that she knows Laurie wants a weak boyfriend; Hyde tells Kelso that he knows he's weak. Both Kitty and Hyde say that what's convenient isn't always best; Kitty adds that if it were, she'd be wearing a muumuu and eating out of a can; Hyde says that if it were, this pizza (that he's holding) wouldn't taste like monkey-butt. Laurie rolls her eyes and asks if the lecture is over; Kelso asks if Hyde is done with his piece of pizza? Hyde and Kitty both leave; Laurie thinks to herself that she has to find her own place; Kelso thinks to himself that the pizza doesn't taste like monkey-butt.
In Red's office at Price Mart, Earl comes in late again; he starts to say that his dog was hit by a car, then remembers that he's already used that excuse too many times, and fumbles around looking for an excuse. Red tells Eric to take his break anywhere but in the office; Eric leaves, but listens from outside the door, and hears Red tell Earl that he's fired, and then continue on yelling at him; Red's voice blurs into something that sounds vaguely devil-like, and goes on for a long time.
In the Forman kitchen, Eric and Red come in; Kitty asks how their day was, and Red says that he had to let Earl go. Eric turns around and tells Kitty that Red yelled at Earl until he cried; Red points out that a real man doesn't cry after only 15 minutes of yelling. Eric tells Red that he doesn't like the way that he handled Earl's firing; Kitty tells him to hush, but Eric continues; Red interrupts and says that work is work, and it's supposed to be hard, otherwise it would be called happy-funtime. Red leaves; Kitty asks Eric why he had to upset Red? Eric asks if he's allowed to have his own opinion, and Kitty says no, and he should know that by now. Eric tells her that he and Red had a good thing at work, and Red has ruined it now, and Eric is back to being the dumb-ass; Kitty says that he shouldn't say things like that about his father, and that Red only yells at him because he cares. Eric thinks about Red yelling at him for various things, and then says that Red must ~really~ care. Kitty tells him that Red does, then says, "And if not, you're moving out soon." She kisses his cheek and leaves.
[Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air.]
In the Forman basement, the gang is sitting around; Jackie says that she hates Laurie; Fez tells her that he understands that she's in pain, but she shouldn't talk during Hollywood Squares
; Jackie tells Eric that Laurie is a slut, and he agrees with her totally, as does Donna. Jackie happily tells them that they all hate Laurie and love her; Hyde agrees that they all hate Laurie. Kelso and Laurie come in; Laurie tells Kelso that she's not comfortable with his ex-girlfriend there, but Jackie says that she's not leaving. Laurie also says that she's not leaving since it's her house and she wants Jackie to go. Jackie tells her that Eric wants her there; Eric says that he does; Laurie tells Jackie to watch her back and Jackie tells Laurie to stop spending so much time on hers; Kelso shouts "Burn!" Laurie glares at him then drags him upstairs. Fez tells Jackie that it was an excellent burn and pulls her down on the sofa beside him, then tells Donna to move over.
[End credits: In the Forman driveway, Red and Eric are dressed for work and heading for the car; Red is yelling at Eric for taking so long in the shower, saying that now he's not going to be the first person at work, adding that Eric should grow up and take some responsibility. Eric starts to say something, then pauses and says, "Love you too, Dad." Red stares at him and tells him to stop being so weird.]