That '70s Show

Season 2 Episode 14

Red's New Job

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 01, 2000 on FOX

Episode Recap

In Kelso's van, Kelso tells Laurie that it's time to get to the lovin', and asks what music she wants for that, Zeppelin or Foghat? Laurie tells him that she'd rather talk; Kelso says that he's willing to try anything once. She begins telling him that she feels like a failure, because all her friends are in college or getting married; Kelso tells her that she's not a failure because she's hot; he starts to take off his shirt, but Laurie's not finished talking yet. He stops with his shirt half-way off, and asks if they're still talking; she says yes, and he's visibly upset that they're not doing it. [Scene change: Kelso jumps in the air.] In the Forman driveway, Bob shows Red a flyer for Price Mart, and points out the low prices, saying that they have toasters for $14.95. Red is shocked, because he paid twice that for the same toaster at Bob's store. Bob tells him that Price Mart could put him out of business; Red notices that they're hiring. Bob says again that big companies like this are evil and put small companies like his out of business. Red agrees, but then checks out the hiring information on the flyer again. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: Eric jumps up and plays air guitar.] In the Forman kitchen, the gang is looking for food; Fez suggests that Eric's family should give their fridge to people who have food to put in it; Kelso looks through the cupboards and is shocked when all he can find is Hamburger Helper and a can of beets. He tells Eric that Red had better get a job soon, because he's starving. Jackie tells him that he shouldn't remind poor people that they're poor, then realizes that Eric is listening and says, "less fortunate." Eric tells them that his family isn't poor, they're just on a budget; Fez says that it's a tiny budget. Donna gives Kelso a package of green Jell-o and tells him to eat that; he gives it to Jackie to eat, and tells her that green things make people horny. Donna tells him that it's not green things that makes people horny, it's beets, and Eric agrees, pointing out that beet farmers usually have 10 or 15 kids. Kelso is willing to try, and grabs a can opener; Kitty comes in and tells him not to eat their beets, and Jackie points out that he doesn't need them because he's horny enough already, and sometimes she wishes that he had two girlfriends. Everyone stops and stares at her; Kelso asks if she's serious? Red comes in and closes the door on Bob; he tells them all that he's getting a job at Price Mart. [Scene change: Keslo jumps across the screen.] In Kelso's van, Laurie is talking; Kelso is asleep on her shoulder. She asks what he thinks about what she just said, and he tells her that she's right and he agrees, although he doesn't know what he's agreeing with. Laurie tells him that she feels really close to him, and that she wants a relationship. Kelso says yes, he wants that too, a sexual relationship. Laurie says that she wants more; Kelso points out that sex is enough, but she says that she wants an emotional relationship. Again, Kelso agrees, saying that he wants that too, an emotional, sexual relationship. In the Forman kitchen, Red gets ready for his interview; Eric says that maybe he should go to Price Mart for a job too, Kitty tells him not to talk. Red says that Eric's job is to get good grades, get into college and move out of the house; Eric asks why Hyde can have a job but he can't; Hyde points out that Eric actually has a chance at success, but for Hyde, if he stays out of jail, that's success. Red leaves for his interview; Eric asks Kitty what the problem with him getting a job is and she repeats what Red said, adding that his other job is to be her little baby boy. Eric tells her that he's not a boy, he's a man, so she amends his second job to being her little baby man. She kisses him and leaves; Eric sits down and tells Hyde that he's lucky that his mom is a run-away alcoholic. At Price Mart, Mr. Ferguson finishes interviewing Red and tells him that he has a good resume. He makes a joke about their names being Red and Ted, then asks what if he offers Red a job right now? He tells Red that they're hiring cashiers; Red points out that he's management, and Mr. Ferguson says that they'll let him know. Red tries to lighten the mood by bringing up the fact that their names are Red and Ted, but Mr. Ferguson doesn't find this funny any more. In the Forman kitchen, Red watches the phone, everyone else watches Red. Kitty wants him to eat dinner but he tells her that he's not hungry. Donna comes in and asks what's going on; they all shush her. Red suggests that the phone might be broken, and picks up the receiver to check to see if it's still working, which it is. He hangs up, then realizes that Price Mart might have just called, and because he picked up the phone, he missed it, and screwed himself out of a job. The phone rings; Red answers; it's Price Mart calling and Red is so excited that he hangs up the phone, but then grabs it back up quickly. He talks to them, then turns to everyone at the table and tells them that Eric got a job as at Price Mart. Eric looks stunned; he obviously didn't want Red to find out about this; Kitty whispers to him, "Run, honey, run!" [Scene change: Eric and Hyde jump in the air.] In the Forman basement, in the circle, Eric tells the guys that Red went ballistic about the job, and threatened to make Eric wear his ass for a hat, and then adds that he believes that Red will do this. Hyde tells him to fight the power, then laughs and says that he wants Eric's room after Red kills him. Fez tells them that a good job for him would be gigolo; Kelso tells them what Laurie said to him about wanting a relationship, and that he was waiting for her to get to the dirty parts, but there was no dirty part. Eric tells Kelso that they were talking about his ~real~ problem; Kelso ignores him and says that dating two girls wasn't supposed to be like this, then he imagines what he thought it would be like... he's sitting on the sofa with both Jackie and Laurie; they're hugging him and telling him that they don't want to talk, they just want to fool around. Donna comes in and sits on Kelso's lap; she tells him that she wants to join his Sexy Circle too, and she's tired of Eric because all he wants to do is talk. She says that she has no thoughts in her pretty red head. Kelso tells them that there are no bras allowed, and they all cheer... Kelso looks at the guys and says, "Pretty sweet, huh?" [Scene change: Eric lies on the screen and pounds the camera.] In the Forman basement, Eric puts on his new Price Mart smock and asks Donna what she thinks of it; he says that he doesn't understand why Red doesn't want him to work, adding that he's such a bad-boy, and his rebellion is getting a job. Donna tells him that she thinks it's great that he has a job, because now instead of just sitting in the Vista Cruiser, maybe they can actually drive somewhere, and even get some food. Eric decides to keep the job; Kelso comes in and tells them that he needs to hide, because Laurie is looking for him; he hides in the shower. Laurie comes downstairs and asks if they've seen Kelso; Eric tells her that he's hiding in the shower. She pulls the curtain and tells him that she found her diary from grade 8 and wants to read it to him; they go upstairs, and on his way by Eric, Kelso hits him in the head and says thanks. In Red and Kitty's bedroom, Kitty tells Red that she just took a Cosmo test on "10 Ways To Please Your Man In Bed" and got 9 out of 10 on it; she informs him that she didn't get #3 because she's a nurse, and #3 is icky. Red looks distracted; he tells her that he can't believe that Eric got a job, then says that the only reason that he did is because Red can't provide for him and the rest of the family. He's angry by this point, and says that he should have taken the cashier job; Kitty tells him that this isn't like the Red Forman that she knows; the Red she knows would go down to Price Mart and yell at them; Red tells her that he's been out of work for six months and can't afford to do that. He gets up and says that he's going for a walk; Kitty tries to get him to stay by offering to try #3 and Red hesitates for a moment, but then says no and goes out. Kitty is relieved. [Scene change: Eric jumps in the air and plays air guitar, Jackie jumps.] In the Forman kitchen, Red wants to know if Eric has quit the job yet; Eric says that he's decided to keep it, and he's not backing down on this one. Red tells him that he wins; Eric points out that all his life, Red has told him not to back down, and now, suddenly, he's saying that Eric should back down, and Eric thinks he's gone crazy. Red tells Eric that he has to leave, but adds that Eric is going to look funny wearing his ass for a hat. In the Forman basement, Kelso tells Laurie that he really enjoys fooling around with her; she says get that a lot. Kelso continues that he doesn't want a relationship with her, saying that he's already got that with Jackie, so he has to break it off with Laurie. She suggests that the three of them should get together and discuss it; Kelso doesn't believe that she's serious, so she tells him to look at her, to look into her eyes. He does, and sees a demon there, laughing. Laurie smiles sweetly at him; Kelso asks if she'll go out with him, and she says that she thought that he'd never ask. At Price Mart, Mr. Ferguson tells Red that he's making a smart move by taking the cashier job, and there's no shame in backing down. Red takes the smock, looks at it and tells Mr. Ferguson that you think your kids don't listen, but they do. Mr. Ferguson doesn't know what Red is talking about; Red tells him that he's changed his mind and doesn't want the cashier job, he's there for the supervisor job. In the Forman living room, Kitty tells Eric, Laurie and Hyde that Red should be back soon; Eric wants to leave, but Kitty tells him that Red will need his family around him. Hyde tries to leave, but Kitty won't let him go either; Laurie tells Hyde that she doesn't consider him family, and he tells her that she's going to end up in porno. Red comes in and heads straight for the bar, and pours himself a drink; Eric says it's not a good sign. Red tells them that the new supervisor at Price Mart deserves a drink, and they all cheer. Eric congratulates Red; Red tells Eric that he's fired. Eric says, "No, I'm not." Red reluctantly agrees that Eric can keep the job, but tells him that if his marks start to drop at all, then he's fired. Hyde comments, "God help the poor bastards who work for you!" Eric laughs, then realizes that he's one of those poor bastards. In the Forman driveway, Eric and Red are both wearing Price Mart outfits; Eric his smock and Red a jacket. Eric says that they get to go to work together, then says it's a nightmare. Red looks at Eric's smock and points out that they spelled his name wrong while pointing at it. Eric looks down, and Red hits him on the nose, then laughs. Bob comes over and calls Red and Eric "Benedict" and "Arnold." He then points to a spot on Red's jacket, but Red isn't falling for it; he asks Bob if he wants to keep that finger? [End credits: In the Forman basement, Kelso sits on the sofa with Jackie and Laurie on either side of him. They both tell him that they're very disappointed with him; Laurie says that even her stupid brother got a job, and Jackie agrees and wants to know why he doesn't have a job. Donna comes downstairs, and as she walks by Kelso, she says, "Sexy circle?" and hits him on the head, then leaves.]