That '70s Show

Season 3 Episode 5

Roller Disco

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Nov 14, 2000 on FOX

Episode Recap

In the Forman basement, the gang is watching Batman on TV, and Fez is making comments to the TV. Eric hits him; Fez gives Eric a wet willie and they start wrestling. Jackie comes in and is very excited; she has news, so Eric tells Fez that they should stop, because this could be important. Jackie's news is that there's a roller disco contest in Kenosha; Hyde asks who cares? Jackie tells him that she wants him to be her roller disco partner, but he says that he'd rather be hit with a wrench. She asks again, and he says no; Kelso says that he'll be her partner, and Jackie tells him no, because he makes her sick, and anyone would be a better partner than him, even Fez. Fez takes this as an offer, and accepts. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: Fez dances on the screen.] In the Forman basement, Fez wonders who Jackie will choose; she looks at Hyde, but he's still saying no. Fez comments that the chips are on the other side of the room, and as he walks over to get them, he does a twirl, then dances back over to get his soda. Jackie is impressed; Kelso isn't and says that he could do that too. He stands up to demonstrate, but falls down when he tries to do his dance moves. Jackie tells Fez that he can be her partner, but warns him that she expects to get first prize. In the Forman kitchen, Eric comes in and tells Kitty that Red is getting sued for wrongful termination of an employee at Price Mart; he then tells her that it's Earl, and Kitty calls Earl a dumb-ass, which shocks Eric. Red comes in, and Kitty tries to tell him about the law suit, but can't, so Eric does by asking for everyone who's not being sued for wrongful termination by Earl to raise their hands, which both he and Kitty do. In the Forman basement, Kelso can't believe that Jackie chose Fez, since he has the three things that women want: he's hot and smart. Donna points out that that's only two things, but Kelso tells her that he counts "hot" twice. Donna then consoles him by pointing out that it's only roller disco and doesn't really matter; Kelso tells her that she's a good friend. Then she adds that it doesn't make any difference that Fez has a hot accent and great body, and that if he and Jackie win, she'll be really happy; Kelso tells her that now she's being a bad friend. In the Forman living room, Red reads the complaint that says he was "ill-tempered" and yells at Kitty and Eric, asking if he was ever ill-tempered; Eric tells him that he was like Mary Poppins at work. Kitty tells Red that he has to go to the Labor Board and show them that he's not like that; he has to control his temper; she suggests that he do what she does when she's angry; she laughs. Red tells her that that's the stupidest thing he's ever heard, and she laughs. [Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air.] At the roller arena, one couple finishes their routine, and the announcer says that Jackie and Fez are up next. Kelso shouts that Fez is cheating because he's a robot. They do their routine (to Car Wash by Rose Royce, 1976); Kelso has a marble that he wants to throw out onto the rink so that they'll fall, but Donna wrestles him for it, and he swallows it. Jackie and Fez finish, and everyone applauds; even Kelso admits that they were good. [Scene change: Jackie dances on the screen.] At the roller arena, Donna tells Jackie that they were great; the results are announced and Jackie and Fez win first place; Jackie calls Fez her foreign hero. They're given a bottle of champagne; Kelso cheers and tries to take the champagne, but Jackie tells him to get off of her, and that she knows that all he did was boo during their routine. Kelso claims that it was some other rude guy who was booing, and then Kelso hit him, and hurt his hand, so he was saying, "oooohhhh"; Jackie doesn't believe him, and skates off with Fez. Donna tells Kelso to look at the bright side; he asks what that is, and she laughs and says that there isn't one. At the Labor Board, the Mediator asks Red if he ever called Earl a candy-ass or dumb-ass; Red says that it was all just good-natured ribbing. The Mediator says that it doesn't sound that way to him; Red asks if he's being called a liar, and Eric, who is sitting beside him coughs, so Red just says that he doesn't mind, and laughs a "Kitty laugh." The Mediator asks Eric about working with Red, and if Red was ever unnecessarily angry. Eric, in trying to avoid answering the question, starts rambling, and Red yells at him to answer the question, and calls him a dumb-ass. [Scene change: Jackie jumps up towards the camera.] In Jackie's father's car, Jackie tells Fez that she loves champagne; she's fairly drunk, and tells him that she has a poem for him, "There once was a guy named Fez, who had a really cute butt!" Fez says that he doesn't dislike it. Jackie tells him that if he kissed her right now, she probably wouldn't stop him, in fact, she'd probably let him do more. Batman (Fez in a Batman costume) appears on Fez's shoulder and tells him not to take advantage of Jackie; The Riddler (Fez in The Riddler costume) appears on his other shoulder and tells him that she wouldn't have said that she wanted to make out with him if she didn't want to. The two start to argue and both dive into Fez's head; Jackie asks Fez if he's going to kiss her and he says no. In the roller arena, Donna points out to Kelso that he shouldn't be jealous of Jackie since he's going out with Laurie now; Kelso says that he just looks at Jackie and remembers all the good times that they had together. Donna tells him that he's not so bad after all, and puts her arm around him; he rests his head on her shoulder, and a few seconds later, Donna pushes him away, and calls him a perv. Kelso tells her that they've been doing this dance all day, and he's tired of dancing. Donna leaves, and Kelso yells after her that she's a tease, then apologizes for saying that, then calls her a tease again. At the Labor Board, Eric admits that Red has some rage issues, but that Earl had it coming. Earl finally arrives, and the Mediator points out that he's one hour and ten minutes late. Earl starts to explain that his dog was hit by a... and can't even think of the word that he wants, so Red supplies it: "car." The Mediator tells Earl that since he couldn't even show up for his own suit on time, he's ruling in Red's favor, although Red scares him. He suggests that Red get some anger management classes; Red smiles and says that he will. The Mediator and Earl leave and Eric tells Red that anger management classes will be great; Red glares at him and Eric tries to back-pedal, but isn't successful. Red tells him that he'll see Eric at home, and Eric points out that they came in the same car; Red walks out. In the Forman basement, Fez tells the guys what happened with Jackie; Hyde says that he did the right thing, but that the next time he tells the story, he should say that he nailed Jackie. Kelso also says that Fez did the right thing, because scamming another guy's woman is bad. Eric comes in and shouts at Kelso that Donna told him what Kelso did, and attacks Kelso. Fez and Hyde help him. [End credits: In the Forman basement, Jackie is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine; Fez comes in and says that she has to make love to him; he's quite drunk. Jackie says no, and he reminds her of what she said last night; Jackie says that she has no idea of what he's talking about and she doesn't remember last night at all. Fez keels over.]