That '70s Show

Season 8 Episode 19

Sheer Heart Attack

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM May 04, 2006 on FOX

Episode Recap

In Jackie and Fez's apartment, Jackie sits on the sofa in her pyjamas, eating cereal; Fez comes out of his bedroom with a girl (Tracy) and tells her that she's the best lover he's ever had, kisses her goodbye, then turns to Jackie and shrugs. The scene repeats exactly the same, but for the girl; this time, it's Nicole; the scene repeats a third time, again, with a different girl, whom Fez calls Susan; she corrects him, saying that her name is Lucy, but Fez is unconcerned, only commenting that when someone finally understands what he's saying, it's when he's made a mistake. [Scene change: Jackie blows kisses at the screen, Fez dances.] In the Forman kitchen, Kitty tells Jackie that she'd offer her a third sandwich, but Jackie's eaten everything; Hyde comments that if she ~does~ get Fez, then she'll officially be Point Place's "Skankiest Slut", but Kitty disagrees, saying that she thinks it's sweet that Jackie likes Fez. Donna tries to cheer Jackie up by offering to go to the Big + Tall store with her at the mall, where Jackie can make fun of all the people shopping there; Jackie tells Donna that if she needed to buy something, she should have just said; they go. Red comes in and tells Kitty that the doctor told him that he no longer needs his heart medication; Kitty thinks that's wonderful, but Red is upset since he has just spent $200.00, renewing his prescription. Hyde suggests that Red could sell the pills, pointing out that there's a seedy subculture that takes drugs for recreational purposes... or so he's seen on an After School Special. Kitty tells Red that he's not to do that, and she completely against people taking things that dull their senses; she takes a bottle of wine and says that she'll be in the bath. Hyde tells Red that he can sell the pills, he just has to find the right market for them. At the Viking Lodge, Hyde and Red walk in; the room is full of older men playing cards, darts and various other games. Hyde shouts over the general conversation, asking who needs heart pills; all the men raise their hands. [Opening credits.] [Scene change: Jackie and Donna do The Bump.] In Jackie and Fez's apartment, Jackie tells Donna and Randy that it's torture for her to see Fez with all these different women; Fez comes in, alone, and Jackie asks where his "Skank of the Day" is. He tells her that he did a double yesterday, so he's taking the day off; in fact, he might just take a break from women, as he's decided that he's a one-woman man. He goes into his bedroom to change his clothes; Donna tells Jackie that Fez is hers, and it's like she's won a really crappy lottery. In the Forman kitchen, Red and Hyde are counting money; Hyde comments that they made $50.00 in 15 minutes, and that was a slow day; if they plan it right, they can make a lot more. Red says that he doesn't want to make money, he only wants to get back the money that he spent on the medication; Kitty comes into the kitchen; both Red and Hyde quickly hide the money, and Red nervously tells Kitty that Hyde had a few questions... man-talk. Kitty doesn't believe him, pointing out that Hyde was married to a stripper, and if anything, he should be giving Red advice. She leaves; Red tells Hyde that he can't do this, he can't become a lying dope peddler, but Hyde tells him that he's looking at it all wrong, he's really a champion of the people. [Scene change: Kitty waves up at the camera.] In the Forman living room, Kitty and Fez are having tea; she asks him about his sex-life, telling him that she's heard that he's been with a lot of different women and reminding him that thank you cards never go out of style. Fez tells her that he's going to settle down to one woman, and admits that Kitty knows who the woman is, but doesn't say the name of the person. Kitty is happy to hear this news, and promises to keep it a secret. In the Forman kitchen, Kitty is baking and Jackie comes in; Kitty immediately tells Jackie that Fez is crazy about her. Jackie is ecstatic. [Scene change: Kitty and Fez both dance on the screen.] At the Viking Lodge, Red wants to leave, as he doesn't want to get a reputation as "The Pill Man." Smitty and Cal come over, calling him exactly that, and want some diet pills from him. Both men are telling bad jokes about their wives; Hyde tells them that he's there to do business. Red asks if there's somewhere that they can go to talk privately, and Smitty suggests his office... At the Viking Lodge, in the sauna, in the circle, Smitty offers Red two cases of beer and tickets to the Friday night Bingo Marathon for more pills; Hyde turns him down, saying that's an insult. Red tells them that he'll sell them the pills at cost, then tells Smitty to close his legs. In the Forman basement, Jackie excitedly tells Donna and Randy that Fez likes her; Fez comes in and tells them that he has some big news: he's decided to settle down with one girl, and that girl is here. He opens the door and Caroline walks in; Donna, Jackie and Randy are in shock. When they all suggest that Caroline isn't the best choice, and that the last time they saw her, she was trying to kill them all, Caroline just laughs and says that it's a new Caroline, who just slaps away the anger. She begins slapping herself, and Fez says that it's sexy. The two of them kiss. [Scene change: Jackie jumps in the air and blows kisses at the camera.] In the Forman basement, Jackie tells Fez that Caroline isn't ~one~ woman; she's got about eight personalities in her head, but Fez informs them that Caroline accepts him for who he is, so he's doing the same for her/them. Donna and Randy remind him that Caroline is dangerous; Fez doesn't care, and says that when she tried to kill him, they were only role-playing. In the Forman kitchen, Kitty is making a shopping list and notices that all the plastic baggies are gone; she comments that she just bought a new box. The phone rings; Kitty answers, but there's no one there, and she tells Red that it's the third hang-up today, and there was also a strange call asking about "the stuff." Red is about to confess, but Kitty tells him that she knows, and says that Hyde is selling drugs out of the house. [Scene change: Donna peers at the camera, Randy dances behind her.] In the Forman basement, Jackie is eating a pizza and won't share it with Randy, even though he paid for it. Donna assures Jackie that Fez's relationship with Caroline won't last; just then, Caroline comes in the back door wearing a wedding dress. Jackie is shocked and asks if Fez proposed to her. Caroline admits that he hasn't... yet, but she's sure that he will, and she wants him to see how she looks in the dress, but she has to find him quickly before the store realizes that she slipped out the window in the fitting room. Caroline leaves; Jackie tells Donna and Randy that she can't believe that Fez chose her, and blames Donna that Fez doesn't know how Jackie feels about him. [Scene change: Red walks across the screen, Kitty sits behind him, waving her arms.] In the Forman living room, Kitty storms in with Red behind her; she accuses Hyde of selling drugs out of the house. He doesn't deny it, but says that ~if~ he is, it's probably because he doesn't have a new 19-inch TV to keep him off the streets; he looks at Red meaningfully. Kitty is appalled and tells him that they don't reward that kind of behavior, and Red agrees, saying that a 13-inch TV should do fine. Kitty is angry with Red that he's not saying that he'll put his foot up Hyde's behind. The doorbell rings; it's Smitty and Cal, who thank Red for the pills then tell Kitty everything. Red sends them away, saying that now isn't the time to talk; he tells Kitty that she shouldn't be angry and that he was going to take her to Wisconsin Dells with the money; this makes Kitty happy, and she runs upstairs. Hyde comments that it worked out well for everyone; Red gets to go to the Dells, and Hyde gets a new TV. [Scene change: Hyde's face in a close up shot.] In Jackie and Fez's apartment, Jackie comes in and tells Fez that they need to talk; she explains that when he said he was going to date only one woman, she was happy, because she thought that he meant someone other than Caroline. He asks who, and Jackie kisses him. As she's doing that, Caroline comes in and screams at Fez that he's cheating on her and then attacks him, throwing him to the ground. [Scene change: Fez dances towards the camera.] In Jackie and Fez's apartment, Fez has an ice bag on his eye; Jackie tells him that he's lucky that Caroline is gone. Fez asks her what she meant by kissing him; she explains that her life is really bad right now, but he's been the one good thing, and she wants to be with him. Fez isn't happy about this; he tells her that she's coming to him as a last resort, and she's already been with both Kelso and Hyde and he doesn't want to be her sloppy thirds. Jackie, looking very upset, just says, "Oh," and leaves the room. [End credits: At the Viking Lodge, the men are playing poker; one man leaves the table and Hyde sits down and offers more heart pills for sale, but all the men say that they don't want any more. Hyde tells them that they might need them, if, for instance, someone cut their brake lines in their cars... Smitty says he'll take 20 pills, and Hyde tells him that he's doing the right thing.]
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